Gobbledy Goop...........

Writing is funny... Well, or it ain't. The most recent lady to git ridda me (hehe, poor poor pitiful me!) usedta start to tell a story to friends with "I've got a funny story", or a plain ole "Funny Story" and commence to tell it. I've occasionally gotta big keyboard, and sure, a big mouth.. so I'd always stop her and say "You tell it, WE'LL decide if it's funny." Mebbe why she dumped me eh?

I sit in my damn easy chair (too much, too long) simply thinking.... I wanna write, but I don't know what to write about.. Today I couldn't thinka nuttin', so, I consulted a distant relative (Master Sergeant Schultze) and he advised "I see nothing. I hear nothing. I know nothing." Gee, thanks Sarge.

I thought about a blog on failure. You know, like if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Nah, too fluffy. I prefer "If at first you don't succeed, give it up."

I have given up on: Snow skiing. Changing the brakes on my car. Ice skating. Fixing my own lawnmower. (I see a pattern here.) Running.... Lifting more and MORE weight... 36" waist jeans (they all just went to the Thrift Store)... Reversing wrinkles.. Attempts to paint my thumb green... Commuting (yesterday's blizzard greatly solidified that one)... Working in general (Oh I might referee 1st and 2nd grade basketball, but that ain't work, that's fun.. and besides, I getta stare at the hot moms.. .Ok, damnit, you're right, I get to stare at the hot grannys...)

Point is, I reached an age where I've come to "I don't care if I ever do/try that again" on some things.
Victor...women? TBD. It's kinda like a hound dog when you let 'em off the leash for a second, they have a tendency to run off. Hehe.

Then again, I read about some folks who didn't give up.. One guy started THREE different candy companies, only to have them each fail. Some guy by the name of Wrigley or something.

Another guy was fired by a newspaper "Because he lacked creativity." Walt something or other.. Disney I think it was.

Yet anudder, started a basketball team named the Cleveland Pipers in 1960, they were bankrupt by 1962. I seen this guy on Sienfeld once, George something or other Steinbrenner I think it was.

If at first you don't succeed.. this guy was fired by Apple at age 30. Undaunted, he founded a new company, NeXT, which was eventually acquired by Apple.. and the guy reinvented Apple, took them to new heights.. the guy that lost his Job? Steve something or other Jobs I think it was.

It's funny... I got all the way here without knowing whatinthehell I was writing about, then it dawned on me.. Successes, failures, with women. VICTOR, you write the blog, WE'LL decide if it's funny. Touche'.

So, I looked into a website with "15 Reasons Why Single Men Are Giving Up On Women." Among them, the site says, "women try to change men" (the only time you can change a man is when he's a baby, my words, not theirs, but I did steal it from somewhere.)... and.. "Women expect men to know what they want without communicating, "they should know by body language."........... hmmm... "Men are tired of being thought of as a disappointment" (One chicky added "All men are not the same, they're all disappointing in their own unique way." Wow!)

This is funny. STOP IT VICTOR, WE'LL DECIDE THAT! Sorry.. kinda.

They continued "Women think that men are merely grown children. It is true that men take longer to mature and for men’s brain to develop compared to women’s, but that is not why women call men this. This term assumes that men are immature and are incapable of being adults and are still children." WHAT? HAVEN'T YOU READ MY DAMN BLOG?!!! I'm ALWAYS mature. Well, on Tuesdays I am, usually.. sometimes.

"Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of women believing that they need to rescue men from themselves." Rescue? Bark bark, arf, arf. You ain't gotta rescue me, but, mebbe you could foster me for a month or so eh? Hehe.

And, a quick list of the rest.. tired of being thought of "all men are the same".. "all men are trash." "Tired of being told something is wrong with them.".. "Blamed for relationship endings." "Their fault if women are not happy." "MEN ARE EVIL!" (They continued, "men are beautiful but they're f*ing (frigging?) evil."

I jest. Lots I guess. I've been married twice. 7-some years, 20 years. Both, wonderful ladies. Before and after, some really nice ones as well.
 
I'd better run. Well, you know what it's like out. I'd better ice skate, or snow ski to my car. Get the jack out, work on my pecs raising the car.. I gotta change the brakes, they're screeching. Like you Victor? Hush or I'll stick my green thumb in your ear..

I may write a book some day though.. You know, like "Under the bleachers by Seymour Butts" only I think I'll call it "Under the blankets, by C. One Morebutt."

Borrowring from Aretha (and originally recorded by Fontella Bass):

"Rescue Me."

Victor? Yes? Aren't you embarrassed to write crap like this? Speaking of failures, that don't compute, so, not really.
Love, Victurd