Observation tower...

Love has been going through my brain.

Love is a wondrous word.

I sat thinking about the friends, loved ones I know who wing the word love with fairly good frequency, and I've noticed, they're happy. People in your life that do that, you notice the same?

My sister inlaw (actually, she's my ex sister inlaw, and we 'lovingly' refer to ourselves as outlaw-brother, outlaw-sister), well, she ends every written communication I've ever seen to me, to others, with "XOXO." Heart on the sleeve? Opening up one's self to vulnerability? I guess maybe, but who cares?

How good does something like that, or hearing the word "love" make you feel? It makes me feel really good. It ain't like you take a check to the bank, deposit it and ya gotta wait 24 hours for it to be any good. You hear 'love', it's from a person "you can take it to the bank", funds available as soon as the words are uttered.

Life = Jinga. We build towers. Not the part of Jinga where it's competition, and we start taking back what we've built - but that we've built a pretty impressive tower, we stand back, take a peek and spout "I love that." Or, I love you.

Men don't show emotion. Men don't cry. Men are taught "It's weak to do so." "Thou shall not feel." Boy kindergartners hold hands, put their arms around other boys and girls to show affection and express joy. By second grade, male indoctrination begins. Boys are sissies if they show fear, pain, or heaven forbid, the most taboo expression of all: crying.

I vote bull hockey to all of the above paragraph.

My father went to that "Old School." Oh, he was a loving man, and he never really feared using the word love with us (and did, a lot.) But, he hid emotions pretty well. "Men do that" it was assumed he learned. My father got Parkinson's. I hate, hate, hate, Parkinson's. But, Parkinson's allowed him to cry. To well up. To show the emotion that was always "in there", but was purposely held under the water.

For many, love is just a hard word to say - we recognize that, we understand it, and we know it's inside you because we can tell from the things you DO and SAY, you really mean love.

Love is a tough word. It ain't, but it is - if that makes sense.

I've worked part-time every winter for a guy for about 30 years or so. This guy is one of the most competitive people I've ever known. Losing really, really bothers him. A guy you want to go to battle with, but if the battle doesn't turn out to our liking - ya might wanna give him some time by himself before starting up any kind of conversation. I truly respect this man, and in return, I've always tried to do a good job for him. I texted him recently to relate I've decided to "hang it up.. the time has come." I thanked him for all the years, he thanked me back.. and then he sent a text "Love you buddy." Jinga. We built a tower together, stepped back, admired it, and uttered the word love. I was floored when I read it, but in a really good way.

Another buddy... our jinga tower has only been building for a few years, but it's a sturdy one. He is a lifelong purveyor of the biggest 'toys' known to man. A semi truck. A skid steer. An excavator. He digs basements. He literally, tears down buildings. He drives an F350 with a tank for diesel fuel in back. Criminy, I wouldn't put it past him to bend a crow bar in half. Tough. Ford tough, I guess you could say. After a few years of building that Jinga tower, I shook his hand to leave one day - he uttered "Love you brother."

The times, there'a changing. Men, me thinks, are changing.

We've all been witness to (on the observation tower so to speak), of, the tough times of late. This side, that side. This color, that color. Poor, middle, elite. This Country, that Country. This set of beliefs, that set of beliefs. We are so intent on the other guy pulling the wrong damn Jinga piece in hopes his tower collapses, so we'd "win."

Phhhht.. We need to build the Jinga tower with glue (love). Many do. Men are learning, gaining every day (and thank you ladies for modeling "it's ok to do so.") It's a good thing men are now realizing, saying, showing, acting.

XOXO,

Love, Victurd