Fun with numbers.......

Victor, you tell it, we'll decide if it's fun or not.

Ahm, ok.

Fun,to me, hogbreath - is hearing a preschool grandkid count to thirty, only to omit 19 - which is cool,because 19 is no fun. You're finally old enough to vote, gradugated, ya ain't of legal age, so, who needs 19? The skipping of 19 causes a fun, understanding smile.. "I know one day he/she will get there, repeat 'em fluently... and the proudness of reaching 30 mirrors on us old grandparent's face.

One is the loneliest number. I ain't so sure about that. Tell that to the lady with the humongous smile as she crossed the finish line of the NYC Marathon becoming the first American in 40 years.. Or, to Jack Sock, local kid done good with win (first American in 18 years) of the Paris Masters Tennis Tournament. Or mebbe to the mom in the delivery room hearing 'cry #1' from the dude/dudette that's been in the belly for nine months. Or, howabout the Astros, and what it meant to the City that's been thru one helluva year?

Two. Victor? Are you going to go thru every dadgum number like this? Nope, I was getting bored 'two', so I won't. Instead, let's take a look at numbers:

28,762 days. That's the average number of days we are given. Kinda makes one think. Precious they are.

We: Sneeze 115,048 times in our life. $1,400,000 --> the average an American earns in a lifetime. I just peeked at checking/savings account, no further comment on that.

Ok, let's see... ave male (191), ave female (159), makes average person 175 lbs, we go #2 an average of once a day ("some people three times a day, some, once every three days, so, average is once a day"), we "#2" an average of 1 oz per every 12 lbs of body weight... so.. the formula is 175 divided by 12 = 14.583, times 28,762 = 419,445,8333 oz, which, divided by 16 = 26,215.36 bs of poop we leave 'behind' in our life. Holy crapalot! I know, I know, some readers turned left here. All good.

The average American drives 664,738 miles in their life. That's 26.69 times around the equator. For us old people, many of those miles are spent hurrying to find the closest public restroom.

We kiss (and apparently tell)an average of "28 first kisses" in our lifetime. The average kiss is 7 seconds long (barring halitosis, inebriation, or, those first few years when they can go on, and on, and on).. assuming we start this around 17 (average) and we kiss, on average 7.5 times per day, that means we spend just about two entire weeks of our life, kissing. A French kiss moves 29 muscles in the face. A real kiss quickens your pulse to 100 beats per minute, burns 3 calories. Men who kiss their wives every morning live five years longer, PUCKER UP!

What's wrong with this picture? Kids smile 400 times per day, happy people 40-50 times a day, we average smiling only 20 times a day. I wonder what those numbers would be if they could record 'dog smiles?'

We walk 110,000 miles in our lifetime, yep, that's 4.417 times around the equator, or, that's 19.72 times from NY to LA (AND BACK).

5,332 infants are born yearly having more than ten toes. Lee Redmond, a woman from Utah, had not cut her fingernails since 1979, amassing a total of 28 feet, 4 and 1/2 inches of nails. Sadly, she lost them in a car crash in 2009.

The average US marriage lasts 8.2 years. Wow. I feel better! We speak 860 million words in our lifetime (assuming we don't cuss until age 20, and we cuss, on average of 80 times a day, that's 1,716,960 curse words in our lifetime. I usedtda work the counter at United Airlines. I noticed, those people (the fliers) averaged more than 80 a day.

We write 45 million words (Victor, you can double that damnit).

22.82 million of us take a nap every day. (World population 7.6 billion, 30% of us, take naps).

Clayton Kershaw is the highest paid baseball player at $33,000,000 this year. We open/close our eyes (blink) and average of 20 times per minute. There are 1,440 minutes in a day. That's 525,600 minutes per year, times 20 = 10,512,000 eye blinks a year. Dividing that into Kershaw's salary, he makes $3.14 every time he blinks his eyes. Holy guacamole, nothing to bat an eye at. I'll be on Social Security in January of 2018. If I did the math correctly, I will have to blink 1,529 times to make $3.14.

Oldest man ever (unverified), 146 (Mbah Gotho, Indonesia), oldest woman ever (verified) 122 years, 164 days (Jeanne Calment (France). Based on average number of farts per day (14), that's 746,000 for him, 625,436 for her. See? Told you this would be a gas... (We're still not impressed Victor)

Adwaita, an Aldabra giant tortoise that was in a zoo in India, is believed to be the oldest terrestrial animal in the world, dying in 2006 at age 255. The Mayfly, on the other hand, has the shortest lifespan of an animal at about 24 hours.

Vesna Vulovic on January 26th 1972, survived the longest (non-parachute) fall (without dying) when the DC-9 she was working exploded. She was the lone survivor, after a fall of 33,333 feet (that's 6.31 miles.)

I know, I should run. Gotta lotta farts, poop, walking, driving, kissing, falling, blinking to do. Happy 311th day of the year, love, Victurd.

VICTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FORGOT SEX! WHAT ABOUT SEX? "The average person will have sex 5,778 times in their life." YIPEE, I'VE GOT 4,962 MORE COMING, I'M GONNA ENJOY RETIREMENT!