Nothing...

What are you gonna do today? "Nothing"....

The snotnose, said lovingly, with the quivered up lip... "What's wrong?"....."Nothing",or, "NOTHING!" (Or the wife...ok ok, or the husband.)

Victor, you have to write about something. No. No I don't, I'm gonna write about nothing.

I just logged into my bank account. Nothing. My agenda for today: nothing.

Telling them it wasn't as bad as Katrina, you cost us a lot of money, then throw paper towels at
them. I've got nothing.

VICTOR! THAT, was political, that's talking about SOMETHING! Think nothing of it.

If you were standing under the Eiffel Tower, and some ma Cherie amor ran up and laid one on ya, would there be a language barrier if you whispered sweet nothings in her ear? If she flew back to New York with you, and you were at the Statue of Liberty, you laid one on her, would it still be considered a French kiss? Nothing, nevermind.

Life, and baseball, start with nothing. Victor, sometimes when you blog I think "I wish he woulda thought of nothing instead." Hey, now you're getting it. This blog is about nothing.

"We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom." Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

Nothing. Nope. Nada. Zip. Void. Nought. Nuttin'. Goose Egg. Zilch. Zero. Diddly. Blank. Shutout. Crickets. Writer block.

"Yes, I deserve a spring - I owe nobody nothing." Virginia Woolf, A Writer's Diary. (Is that a double negative? I ain't afraid of her.")

"I know nothing." My second cousin, Sgt. Schultze.

1 + 1 = 2. 2 - 1 = nothing. Damnit, you used that a couple blogs ago. Here, try this 4 inch piece of duct tape on.

In this search on the internet, to learn about nothing, I found 20 different artists have a song called "Nothing." Janet Jackson, Dwight Yoakam, even The Fugs.

There is a town, Nothing, Arizona. I wonder if they have a Casey's?

I understand, to be a good ump or referee, would mean after the game: nothing. You didn't really notice them. Did I ever tell you about the time I cussed at a coach when I was refereeing 1st and 2nd grade basketball? Nevermind. It was nothing. AW COME ON, you CAN'T do that, tell us?!!

Ok, there was this dude. It was easy to tell, he knew nothing about the game, pun intended I guess. He was a very large man, the biggest dimension at his beltline. He kept walking out on the court shouting instructions, admonishments, yada. I asked him politely to please, don't get on the court. He kept doing it. The sideline is where refs run. OK damnit, jog. I kept envisioning my then 63 year old 200 lb creaky old body colliding with his rotund 300 lb frame. I would have been reduced to nothing. A little firmer, with a tad bit of pissofidness, I said, STAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LINE.

So. He plants his toes RIGHT behind the line, much of his body hanging over in play, looks at me with a SE'in grin as if to say, "ha ha, I complied." This went on for three quarters. I think once I even gave him a glancing blow simply due to his smartassedness. Then, he kept stepping onto the court. By now I was aggravated just like ya usedta get when your child has pushed you to the limits and you'd just smoked your fourth consecutive cig, and they start in again...

Finally.. I went over and said "You have GOT to stay off the court!" (I ain't very stern, but I was there.) He gave me that grin again and said "WHY?".. My patience was gone, as in nothing left. My already ginger red face was even redder. I said "Because I don't F-in wanna get hurt".. DID YOU JUST CUSS AT ME? DID YOU JUST CUSS AT ME? To the gym supervisor he waddled, er, marched. The supervisor, a lifelong buddy, smiled at me as we were aside, "Vic, trust me, I understand your frustration with this guy, but you can't cuss." Sorry Deke, I shoulda said nothing. (The next week, uh huh, two sides to the gym, and I get him again. This time, he was adorned in a bright red sweatshirt with a picture of the bird from a college I abhor. Upchuck.)

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothing
You gotta have something; if you want to be with me
Nothin' from somethin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin' if you want to be with me.

When I was 8 year old, in the basement of Mattinglys with one of my buddies, onea the ladies thought we stole a football needle. She put her hands in my buddies pockets, nothing. She put her hands in my pockets, nothing. Nothing was done. Me thinks nowadays if something like that were to occur she'd be in the slammer. Then, nothing.

You know those people that simply don't know when to shutup? I wonder if they can ever think of nothing to say?

Think nothing of it.

“…But what I like doing best is Nothing.” “How do you do Nothing?” asked Pooh, after he had wondered for a long time. “Well, it’s when people call out at you just as you’re going off to do it, What are you going to do Christopher Robin, and you say, Oh, nothing, and you go and do it.” “Oh, I see,” said Pooh. “This is a nothing sort of thing that we’re doing right now.” “Oh, I see,” said Pooh again. “It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear and not bothering.” “Oh!” said Pooh.”

Ok, I'm out. I've got nothing. (You should've written about something.)

Much ado about nothing, sorry, love, Victurd