I was gonna do a blog on 'like'. It's a question (like?) I ask many times a day, of me, of what I've said.. Of what I should do.
So, silently, I talked to myself. I know we all do that. The gamut, moral code, sometime seedy thoughts, I shouldn't say this, I shoulda said that. I like me. I don't like me.
Whenever I do/say something I ain't real proud of, I (talk, silently) and beat myself up, make me feel ten times worse than I probably should.. Conversely, when I've done/said something I like, am proud of, I (talk, silently) and praise my ass way, way too much.
Balance?
“Talking to oneself is a recognized means to learn, in fact, self-speak may be the seed concept behind human consciousness. Private conversation that we hold with ourselves might represent the preeminent means to provoke the speaker into thinking (a form of cognitive auto-stimulation), modify behavior, and perhaps even amend the functional architecture of the plastic human brain. Writing out our private talks with oneself enables a person to “see” what they think, a process that invites reflection, ongoing thoughtful discourse with the self, and refinement of our thinking patterns and beliefs. Internal sotto voice conversations with our private-self provide several advantages, but most people find it difficult to maintain self-speak for an extended period. Internal dialogue must compete with external distractions. Writing allows a person to resume a personal dialogue where they left off before interrupted by outside stimuli. A written disquisition also provides a permanent record that a person can examine, amend, supplement, update, or reject.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls
LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!... Ok Kilroy, damnit, I'm talking to myself. The hell is 'sotto'? (BRB).. sotto "under the breath: in an undertone; also: in a private manner."
Damnit! Disquisition? (Bear with me, brb). "A long or elaborite essay or discussion on a particular subject."
Where was I? (My 'former', damn that's hard to say.. my former co-worker Jim, love him to death, but he talks to himself, and it ain't 'sotto'. It's aloud. That distraction happens, and he's "Ok, where was I?" And I virtually always answered "Grandview, MO." Damn
I won't miss that drive, or, a couple of bosses, but I'll miss Jim.
VICTOR! Think about that? He said, to me. Did you need to add that about the bosses? I wrote it down, so I guess I did. Then Victor said "you'da had to been there."
You ever have onea them days where, you are SO tired, not from exercise, not from eating/drinking too much, but from OVERTHINKING and your body tells you (Eventually begs you) "go to bed three hours early you idiot, tomorrow is another day and you worry (sotto) too damn much.
Ok, think I will, as in the 7am to 3am I did last night. There's good in 3am. The gal on ABC news is cute as hell. 4am happens, local news comes on, and Rachel, oh Rachel, speaks of current traffic conditions. At least that's what I think she reports, hell, I'm too busy "sotto"-ing "holy crap she's gorgeous."
Ain't it fun to be in public, or anywhere for that matter.. maybe a newspaper in hand... or seated doing nothing on a bench.. you/we watch,
observe, outwardly quiet, but oh that brain is a runnin', a talkin'. If only they knew.
I'd like to produce a movie, maybe with subtitles, mebbe not, about people only speaking what they are thinking? "Wow, you're an idiot." "Have you considered thinking before you speak?" "Does your elevator go all the way to the top?" "I REALLY admire you." "I sure would like to see you naked" VICTOR! Sorry, kinda, TELL ME you ain't been there? Uh huh, what I thought you fellow pervert.
“You become what you digest into your spirit. Whatever you think about, focus on, read about, talk about, you’re going to attract more of into your life. Make sure they're all positive.”
― Germany Kent
OK, OK. But who's to say a beautiful naked body ain't positive? I thought that, then typed it. Then, I asked myself "should I have done/said that?" Sure. It's sotto, anything goes in sotto.
It's my hope you're partnered, for being mated to 'sotto' can kinda tend to drive one nuts. You almost get to the point "SHUT THE HELL UP?" And again, it's you talking to you.
I hear voices. They make me upstanding. Alert. Tired. Ashamed. Proud. Bored. Horny. VICTOR! Again, tell me you ain't been there!
Hey, the movie could have Mr. Roboto as a theme song! Directed by Otto Preminger? Nah, he botto the farm in '86.
OK, it's 6:32am. I'm tired. Gonna take a nap, ha, I'm retired. Then, I will get up and listen to what that damn idiot has to say.
Tomorrow is another day. Shutup Victurd.
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