Please wait while you’re being redirected…….

Story’a my life – and mebbe yours too eh? When one thinks of me, please don’t think of: an orderly desk at work that you could mebbe eat off of… a living room carpet that is perfectly, freshly vacuumed… socks, undies, yesterday’s outfit neatly tucked away in the hamper… a car with the shiny clean blackened sidewalls…. ne’er a crum on the floorboard. Quoting Sonny/Cher, it ain’t me babe.

So…….. I’m not an organized person. Oh hell yes my desk at work is a mess – but I know where every gosh darn thing is on toppa it. At home, my bills? Well, they’re placed wherever I was when I walked in from the mailbox that day.

Which all brings us to……. me logging in last night… and getting the message “Please wait while you’re being redirected”… Oh crap, I forgot to pay my internet provider (again.)…

Life is all about “Please wait while you’re being redirected”. Kiddygarten. WHAT? You mean I don’t get mom’s snacks whenever I wanna?... Junior High. I can’t sit in Mrs. Eldridge’s classroom all day? I was comfy!.. High School… bells.. bells to start class.. bells to end.. tardy bells.. “Please wait while you’re being redirected”.. Counselor’s office, college brochures, ‘the next step’…

College… ahhhhh wunnerful. Perhaps the very best six years of my life, and no, that’s not a typo. (Scroll to organization, lack thereof).. WHAT? I GOTTA GETTA JOB? “Please wait while you’re being redirected”…. WHAT? I GOTTA COME BACK HERE TOMORROW?........and the next day?

Marriage. “Please wait while you’re being redirected”.. Ah, a wunnerful six and one-half years… then.. “Victor, I know I/we said the vows and all.. and this ring with the little dangly rubies is REALLY cool.. but… u see, I’m attracted to others at work… and… “Please wait while you’re being redirected”…….

Loved the airline industry. Three different ones. I just picked a bad time to get in the field. United Airlines. “Well, you’ve had a nice three-plus years here, but we’re giving up on the Kansas City hub idea.. you can go to New York or Chicago ‘part-time’ if you like?.. “Please wait while you’re being redirected”.. Eastern Airlines.. 8+ years.. wunnerful. $12 first class, $6 coach – anywhere you’re heart desired.

Going to a softball tournament wasn’t like driving to Swope Park – nope, it was flying to Phoenix, or Clearwater, or San Diego. “Mr. Bryan??? (our Union Leader negotiating our contract”) ppppplllllleeeeeaaaaasssseeee remember that 80% of sumpin is better than a hunnerd % of nuttin!””.. Chapter 11, then 7.. “Please wait while you’re being redirected”

Braniff… Cargo Sales. Wunnerful. Again, free flights, all I did was go around and talk to customers – make sure their freight was moving smoothly. I loved it. Even arranged a golf tournament for them – prizes for them of “passes anywheres u wanna fly”.. Summoned on the 7th hole.. “Victor, they’re pulling the planes into Orlando… we’re going belly up”.. . “Please wait while you’re being redirected.”

Marriage number two. A long, very nice one of 20+ years.. . A blessed son, along with raising a wonderful stepson. Then, the stuff hit the fan. Then, one day.. “Well.. I love you both.” Oh my, I suppose that could be fun, but I ain’tno Charlie Sheen. Was never very good in the sandbox, thus, quoting Snagglepuss, “exit, stage left.” “Please wait while you’re being redirected.”

Victor, that’s all pretty depressing. OH NO.. I’ve had a truly blessed life. I couldn’t have painted a better family to grow up in… I have wonderful friends from all the various redirected stops along the way.. I loved each of my ex’s – and many, many a great hour, day, year, time....

The turbulence in my job history is ok too – cause I get restless. I’ve done nothing really extraordinary, but I’m lucky as hell to have done some of the things I’ve done occupationally… (and u got the short list, thankfully for you!)..

Life ain’t an Interstate. It’s a wonderfully curved, hilly road with breathtaking views along the way (and sure, an occasional pothole here and there).... It’s seeing a smile, and winging one back.. It’s getting old, and throwing that ‘love’ word out like you never did before to friends, coworkers… It’s seeing younger folks going thru the “Please wait while you’re being redirected” that you’ve visited – and winging admiration at how they handle..

It’s having a grandchild whose mom gets her snacks any time she wants. What a wonderful redirection she’s been in my life. Inasmuch as life is a cycle – and “Please wait while you’re being redirected”, redirection ain’t necessarily a bad thing. Many have had more tragic redirections – I’m lucky. I’ve been lucky. I am lucky. I love life, AND the redirection that comes along with it – even if it’s occasionally poopy.

My momma.. who grew up during the Great Depression – always wanted to write a book entitled “Po’, but didn’t know it.”.. That’s my second favorite quote from her. The fav? “The secret to success in life is how you deal with Plan B.”

Ain’t so sure how I’ve dealt with it, but I’ve truly enjoyed B, C, D, “Please wait while you’re being redirected”, E, F, G, H, I, “Please wait while you’re being redirected”, J, K, L, M, N, “Please wait while you’re being redirected”………. etcetera, etcetera.

As one who probably most of his life could stand ‘direction’, “Please wait while you’re being redirected” has actually kinda been a blessing. That was kinda boring Victor. I know.. sorry.. stuff about me ain’t so fun. I’ll redirect soon, and write about something/someone else. A promise. Love, Victurd.