A respite from writing... Sign, sign, everywhere a sign..

And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people need not apply"
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said "You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do"
So I took off my hat, I said "Imagine that. Huh! Me workin' for you!"
Whoa-oh-oh

License plate on $50,000+ silver, gorgeous convertible: WAS HIS

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

CH__CH, What’s missing?... God Reads Knee Mail… Do not wait for hearse to take you to church… Staying in bed shouting “Oh God” does not constitute going to church… Free coffee, everlasting life, yes, membership has it’s privileges.. Bored? Try a Missionary Position..

And the sign said anybody caught trespassin' would be shot on sight
So I jumped on the fence and-a yelled at the house,"Hey! What gives you the right?" "To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in" "If God was here he'd tell you to your face, Man, you're some kinda sinner"

Shell sign during recent gas ‘hella’ prices:
Regular: ARM
Plus: LEG
Premium: FIRST BORN

Drive In Theater… 3 movies showing:
Erin Brockovich
Screwed
My Dog Skip

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

Walgreen: Ass. Fragrance 50% off…. Fu King Chinese Restaurant…. Parking for Drive Thru Service Only.. Amigone Funeral Home…. Taco Bell: Now Hiring All Shits… Steve’s Radiator Shop: A good place to take a leak… Royal Flush Plumbing: Your shit is my bread and butter.. ..

Ponderosa Veterinary Hospital: Spay or neuter your best friend…. Balfurd Cleaners: Drop your pants and you will receive prompt attention.. Sherrill’s “Eat Here” and “Get Gas”, Tipton, Indiana….. Diesel Fried Chicken.. IGA: Idaho Pot. 10 lb bag $1.49… Nothing says “sorry about the crabs” like flowers..

Now, hey you, mister, can't you read?
You've got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
You can't even watch, no you can't eat
You ain't supposed to be here
The sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside
Ugh!

Bathrooms: Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men.. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.. Make love, not war, hell do both: Get Married!... Men’s Restroom House of Representatives: If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of Progress? Congress!!... If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it..

And the sign said, "Everybody welcome. Come in, kneel down and pray" But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, I didn't have a penny to pay... So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign I said, "Thank you, Lord, for thinkin' 'bout me. I'm alive and doin' fine." Wooo!

Warning: Private Property Keep Out (Unless you have really big boobs)… Slow children. No Hunting…. Any persons (except player) caught collecting golf balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed…. Smoke. Because no one should infringe upon your right to cough up black phlegm…. Absolutely Nothing Next 22 Miles…

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Sign
Sign, sign

Love, Victurd….

Ahhhhhh! Show me a man that's got a good woman
Show me
Show me a man out there that's got a good woman
Show me (huh huh)
Show me a man that's got a good woman
Show me a man that's got a good woman
Show me a man that's got a good woman
Show me a man that's got a good woman

We hail from the great State of Missouri. The Show Me State. Got it on our license plates. On our tongues in conversations when doubt arises. Two theories on how this originated. First, origin is popularly ascribed to an 1899 speech by Congressman Willard Vandiver who declared that "I come from a country that raises corn and cotton, cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I'm from Missouri, and you have got to show me."

Second, According to another legend, the phrase was a reference to Missouri miners brought to Leadville, Colorado to take the place of striking miners and being unfamiliar with the mining methods there required frequent instruction.

Show me a man that's got a good woman
I'll show you a man that goes to work hummin'
He knows he's got some sweet love coming
at the end of his working day.

*Yeah*

“Show Me” differs in approach from a man’s eyes/shoes, and the female version – in the dating/mating world. We men are percieved as simpletons (And perhaps a grain of truth). Show me what’s under that outfit. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. That’s it, plain and simple. Oink. Women, “Show Me” what’s inside that heart, soul. Tell me of your dreams, aspirations, convictions, beliefs. Us male piggos would prefer the path to be “aww come on baby, let’s just walk down the hallway to your bedroom”, but cower, and take this “Interstate” across the Country to get there instead. Erica Jong nails us pigs with her statement “Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man.” Jewel’s take “Show me a man who knows his own heart and to him I shall belong.”

Show me a woman that's got a good man
Show me!
I wanna see a woman out there that claims she got a good man!
Show me!
And if you show me a woman that's got a good man
Show me a woman that's got a good man
Show me a woman that's got a good man
Show me a woman that's got a good man

New concept, idea. Work rule, path. Disbelief. Show me. Show me the money. Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I’ll show you two old or homely faces. (I guess I could fit that description, doesn’t bug me.) “Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.”  W. C. Fields… Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you… Show me the books he loves and I shall know the man far better than through mortal friends. (Brb, got some house tidying up to do!)

Show me a woman that's got a good man
I'll show you a woman doin' all she can
To make life worth living for her good man
So his troubles don't cross his mind.

*Yeah*

Victor, this is getting boring. SHOW ME what you’re getting to?!!

Show me two people that's in love with each other
Y'all, show me.
I want you to show me two people that's in love with each other
Show me.
Ah ya show me two people that's in love with each other
Show me two people in love with each other
Show me two people in love with each other
Show me two people in love with each other

Yesterday, ESPN honored College Game Day, Columbia, MO. The University of Missouri. New record for number of folks to show up. Cool, you show’ed me. Yes, but this is Oklahoma. The same Oklahoma that’s defeated us 19 of the last 20 games. Gary Pinkel, MU Tigers, MIZ ZOU, you showed me.

Show me two people that's in love with each other
I'll show you two people that ain't going no further
than their arms can reach to hold one another
Let them lovers alone, yeah
they doin' all right

McNeese State, showed me. San Diego State, ‘Moe showing me. Miami of Ohio, Colorado, Texas A & M, BOOMER – SOONER! YES!... 7-0 Showin Me.

Pretty please Gary P, Blaine G, A & J Smith, Mr’s Barnes, Ebner, Moe, Jackson, Ressel, and the remainder, please Show Me. Nebraska, Texas Tech, K-State, Iowa State, KU (Patooey), Big 12 Championship game…

January 10, 2011. BCS National Championship Game, Glendale, AZ.

Halfway home. Please oh please, whilst we’re all still on this planet – Show Me.
MIZ-ZOU. Love, Victurd.

Time has come today....

Time has come today
Young hearts can go their way
Can't put it off another day
I don't care what others say
They say we don't listen anyway
Time has come today
(Hey)

We’re here on this planet 78.4 years. That’s 28,616 days, or.. 686,784 hours, or… 41,207,040 minutes… or 2,472,422,400 seconds. Some studies indicate more, some less. Top ten things we do with this time: 10. TV… 9. Eating… 8. Pooping or peeing…. 7. Talking… 6. Surfing the internet…. 5. Reading…. 4. Wishing… 3. Sex (This study didn’t call and ask me. Would NOT be in my top ten, darnit.)… 2. Traveling… 1. Sleeping

Oh
The rules have changed today (Hey)
I have no place to stay (Hey)
I'm thinking about the subway (Hey)
My love has flown away (Hey)
My tears have come and gone (Hey)
Oh my Lord, I have to roam (Hey)
I have no home (Hey)
I have no home (Hey)

Of these days, times, we spend one-third of our life sleeping. Two weeks kissing. The average person will spend 13-15 years of their life eating, another two years in the bathroom.

Now the time has come (Time)
There's no place to run (Time)
I might get burned up by the sun (Time)
But I had my fun (Time)
I've been loved and put aside (Time)
I've been crushed by the tumbling tide (Time)
And my soul has been psychedelicized (Time)

Men fart on average 17 times a day, women 9. Figure a fart lasts five seconds. That’s 517 minutes a year, or 28 total days of our life will be spent farting. (Gals 15 total days on average of farting in a life time.) .. Six minutes a day laughing, or, 119 days of our lives. 8 hours of our life will be spent at a stoplight.

(Time)
Now the time has come (Time)
There are things to realize (Time)
Time has come today (Time)
Time has come today (Time)

Time… time… time… time… time… time… time… time… time… time… time]

99,117 hours working (Yuck.) 4 years on the phone at work.. “On hold” 5 minutes a day, or, 99 days of our lives.. Complaining, 159 days of our lives… 160 days on smoke breaks. (Some, ahem, more.) …. “Everyday you waste time. Whether it’s filling up a tank of gas, waiting for an elevator, or waiting to download a program- we waste minutes. The average human wastes about 45 minutes a day in addition to any free time they have.” That’s 894 days of our lives spent wasting time. (Some of us more.)

Oh
Now the time has come (Time)
There's no place to run (Time)
I might get burned up by the sun (Time)
But I had my fun (Time)
I've been loved and put aside (Time)
I've been crushed by tumbling tide (Time)
And my soul has been psychedelicized (Time)

39 days picking our noses. 11 years infronta the TV. 967 days washing clothes. 6.5 years worrying. 115 days laughing. Men, 1.5 days per year shaving. Women spend 136 days of their lives getting ready. (Men, 46 days).. …. One study suggested “that daydreaming – which can occupy as much as one third of our waking lives – is an important cognitive state where we may unconsciously turn our attention from immediate tasks to sort through important problems in our lives.”. .. Even if we only average half of that, that’s over 8 years of our lives spent daydreaming.

(Time)
Now the time has come (Time)
There are things to realize (Time)
Time has come today (Time)
Time has come today (Time)

9 hours, 18 seconds male orgasm. Women? Ain’t touching that one. Might be considered fake statistics. (Ok, the study said 1 hr, 24 minutes)

Time.. Time… Time… Time
Yeah

Time for me to go, love, Victurd.

Me thinks, life affords us the following cycle:

Play… (Kid)

Educate/party… (Youth)

Work and play, get on ladder.. (Young adult)

Two eyeballs on kids.. help kids work/play, climb that ladder. (Young Parent)

Work, more ladder goodies, one eye on kids…. (Middle aged parent)

The now.. (Fitty-something/soon, sixty-something)… All those other cycles were wonderful, truly. I loved ‘play’. Grew up in a town where that could safely be done – anywhere. I enjoyed the next phase (educate/party) so much, I invested six years in attaining my undergraduate degree!

Being a young parent literally rocked. An opportunity, kinda-sorta, to relive your own childhood – yet, definitely embellished by the vibrancy of a child’s smile.

Middle age parent, at least for me, is when “S” hit the fan in Family – yet still, a nice era. Many, many wonderful co-workers/lifetime friends made in this era.

The now.. ahhh yes… There is no more worrying about the damn ladder.. in fact, we can stop upon it, look out and suckup the view. Aging is synonymous with appreciation. Sitting in Mickey D’s three booths over from a young hubby/wife with a toddler, one a head taller, and yet another a head taller gives us the shivers in reminding us of the work that involved – a smile for the fun that it was, and a “whew” for the “glad that’s not me!”

The Rolling Stones. Huh? Yeah, them. It’s one thing, for me, in the now that I really stop, listen, appreciate, absorb. (And virtually any classic rock artist.) Life, prior to 50, is all-about-hurry. No rose smelling. Play. School. Job. Raising family. The now: hell yeah baby, I get to remember all that, but sorry, this is ME time! Crank that sucker!

Highway time. I work 31 miles from home. Some think that’s ludicrous. Nomme. I enjoy it. It’s time for reflection. Thinking. Emoting. Enjoying.

Food. Huh? Yeah, food. As a child, lunch meant “Do I haveta? I’m up to bat next!” Older kid, cafeteria style, or buddy bringing bagga burgers back from drive in. Young adult, food/hurry. Work to do, play to be had. Parent: food/chore. Have to. Quick. Plan. Oh hell, we’re outta ___, gotta run to the store.

Not now. Food now – enjoy. Succulent. No hurry – let’s indulge. Sample. Treat. Yummy. Back then, we’d drive to wherever was the closest drive-in eatery simply due to time, other things to do. Now, by golly, if we wanna drive 27 miles to sample that little family joint that makes the yummiest lasagna, we’re gonna do it. (And, have highway time, mebbe the Rolling Stones inbetween!). No “hurry, other things to do”, now, it’s “THE thing to do.”

Fitty-something is the “if I’da known then what I know now” age – and please know I don’t mean that like I’m some scholarly saint. I mean that like “wow.. I really enjoyed all those years, stages…appreciate ‘em.. but, perhaps don’t appreciate them as much as I do this stage/age, and it’s probably BECAUSE OF THEM I enjoy this age so much.”

Somea these stolen, sorry, likes ‘em nonetheless.. some diddies learned by age fitty-something:

You don’t have to win every argument..
Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good..
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does….
It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it….
It's OK to let your children see you cry….
The most important sex organ is the brain.
Growing old beats the alternative dying young.
Those who matter don't judge me....those who judge me don't matter.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

Rambling. Sorry. I find that we, at age fitty-something, do that. Got this nasty habit of listening to The Stones on the highway to work, shortly after the scrumptious breakfast of my choice. Get here, an hour early, staring out from the ladder. Fingers gravitate to keyboard. I can’t stop ‘em. Ceptin’ for maybe bathroom urges at this age, second strongest urge.

Let’s urge us all to get on, continue to enjoy this page of our life. I know I planta continue doing so. Until the day I pee my pants and forget my name, Love, Victurd.

Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you.

I actually do remember once staining the kitchen floor, and I found myself “painted into a corner.”

I know, I really should change the topic. Fair enough.

Note to Ron Cottingham.. “We have had BEAUTIFUL Sunny Cal weather here sir. Come back! I know, I know what lies ahead in the coming months.. but you’ve got two retirements… getya a retirement home there, and one here!”

The Fall routine here. College football watching with buddies, wearing our colors, permitting our goofy emotions to run amuck minute by minute, down by down. Sunday/breakfast/paper at Mickey D’s.

Thanks to another friend, reminded of the two stages of life: alive and not alive. Sure, I know silly to wear heart on sleeve here… frivolously watching football… My ‘book’ is dogeared, but I don’t really object to others reading/observing it. I am living. I am very thankful for every day I am afforded awakening.. with age comes prettier colors in the sky… an even grander God.. a wonderful appreciation for friends… and simply life itself.

“I’ve told our guys that no matter what happens not to feel sorry for themselves,” Brown said. “When you think you have it bad because of something that happened in practice or in a game, you might think it’s the worst thing in the world. And it’s not.” (UMKC Men’s Basketball Coach Matt Brown)…

You see, Matt’s 11 year old daughter Ally is in year three of her battle with cancer. If you get the chance, go to kcstar.com and read the article. Every day folks, cursed by this cancer, real life reactions thereof. Among things they’ve learned, per mom Nikki “If you ever want to see a room cleared, bring up death or cancer.”

Mom: Time for bed.
Ally: Can I stay up a little longer?
Mom: No sweetheart, time for bed.
Ally (dripping sarcasm) I have cancer, you know.

Even the tender moments swerve into a smile. Chemotherapy wasn’t necessary. Ally didn’t lose her hair. But the scar runs across her neck and at the age of self-image discovery it couldn’t come at a worse time.

Ally: What if the boys say something?
Mom: God knows who your mate is. He already knows. The man who will love you loves you with your scar already. He’ll love you for what’s on the inside.”
Ally (wheels spinning): Mom?
Mom: Yes, dear?
Ally: The cancer is on the inside.
“I give up,” Nikki said with a laugh.

The family is hopeful the worst is behind Ally after three surgeries in the past six months, but they won’t know for a few months. Prayers.

Kinda puts in perspective “the fall will kill you”, “omg, I’ve painted myself in a corner”, “THE GUY DROPPED THE PASS IN THE END ZONE!”… Should/shouldn’t.

Was another section of the paper devoted to Breast Cancer Awareness… a wonderful picture of a father and his daughter (both having battled cancer) entitled something like “Real men can wear pink.”

Honest, the sun in the morning is enough for me to be thankful. If I never ever had to stare at a beautiful, much-to-young face in the obits again, it’d be amazing.

Turning for a moment... For a long time… I’ve suggested for myself, as well as friends battling an issue.. work problem.. rocky marriage… whatever.. “have you grabbed them by the shirt collar, pulled 'em up close to make sure they’re seeing you eyeball to eyeball, ensuring they’re REALLY listening to you?”…

Life, and it’s events – seem to have a way of grabbing us all by the collar… opening our eyes, making sure we’re listening… and thankful. I am, and I know you are as well. Love, Victurd.

Shouldn’t……

Should… shouldn’t… Goofus… Gallant..

Uproar… roar….

You shouldn’t pass go, collect your $200… You shouldn’t go chasing waterfalls… You shouldn’t commit adultery… You shouldn’t steal.. You shouldn’t bear false witness against your neighbor.. You shouldn’t covet your neighbor’s wife…

Top ten things guys shouldn’t do in public… (Thanks askmen.com) Admire yourself in the mirror.. Pick yourself (as in nose).. sit with crossed legs.. blow your nose without a tissue.. ‘play wrestle’… puke.. argue with your girlfriend.. write longhand in a journal.. pee conspicuously… cry..

You shouldn’t play with fire… play in the rain… be around metal during lightning.. be anywhere besides the basement in potential tornado weather… play in traffic.. take any wooden nickels.. stop, thinking about tomorrow.. tailgate.. beer on whiskey…

When dealing with customer, you shouldn’t…. take their attitude personally.. fail to allow customer to vent.. overuse “you”… make inappropriate gestures.. tell a customer to calm down.. use slang for upset (freaking out, flipping out, bent outta shape)…

What you shouldn’t do in college… get sick and puke the first night.. go to any of the required meetings.. hookup wih the RA.. hookup with someone on your Hall.. walk around in packs of 35.. go barefoot in the shower (eww.. why?)… wear pajamas around campus…

Things you shouldn’t do on Facebook.. use a weak password.. leave your full birth date on your profile (screw ‘em, I’m fitty-eight, proud of it!).. overlook using privacy controls.. mention that you’ll be away from home.. permit youngsters to use FB unsupervised..

And finally.. you shouldn’t blog on Facebook about ‘should’… free, unwarranted, unprompted advice. ESPECIALLY if perceived to be abhored from women… Should… Shouldn’t… Goofus.. Gallant.. Roar… Uproar…

DARN it. Love, Victurd.

Should…

Must… ought… You should not do that…. I should think you would apologize.

Poopy oopy patoopy. What, you think I’m blind? There are some things I KNOW I should do – obvious, so me thinks ya ain’t gotta point ‘em out.

Mad? No, absolutely not. I just think some people should…. er… butt out, get offa my back, leave me alone, worry about YOUR OWN world. Quoting Mick “I said, Hey! You! Get off of my cloud, Hey! You! Get off of my cloud, Hey! You! Get off of my cloud, Don't hang around 'cause two's a crowd”)

Honest, it’s Friday, I’m happy, I’m going out with former coworkers… KU got spanked (sorry… kinda).. MU’s undefeated… Chiefs are 3-1… Then Victor, why are you bitching?

Well… as I freeze my ass off on my daily 35 mile commute (ain’t got the heater blower motor fixed yet… will… soon… checkenginelight.. should anyways) I think “whatinthehell SHOULD I write about?”… Was asking the same question to myself today, passing the same damn exits I always pass.. swerving around the same GD (gosh darn) cars that morning after morning drive 55 MPH in the middle lane’a the 65 MPH highway. (They should get over.) What SHOULD I write about? THAT’S IT! “SHOULD”… Victor, you SHOULD.

Advice. Unwarranted. That’s the kinda should I’m talkin’ about. Close your ears… please. I knows there are partsa my life that are screwed up.. Everyone has them skeletons in their closet. Me, mebbe s’more than others. Bite me, leave mine alone. Do you see strings attached? ie, I ain’t no puppet!

“Victor, you really SHOULD………” EEEEEEOWWWWWW, FINGERNAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD!.... Get the help outta here.. Go talk to the mirror.. Down boy, down girl, get offa that pedestal! You know what happened to the last perfect person don’tya? (Sorry.. kinda)…

Actually, I’m laughing. Honest. I should. Oops. A couplea my fav’s here at work, so happen to be female. (NO Victor, not you?) Haha, yes, me. Anyways, upon occasion, they might come across me wobbling a bit, and it always follows “Victor, you should…..” STOP IT MARILYN! (sorry… kinda… that is ex’s name.. and honest.. when I spout that out, it makes ‘em think.. “is he saying I’m acting like a nagging wife?”.. MEBBE. KINDA-SORTA. HELL YES YOU ARE! (You should see yourself in the mirror, hehe.)

I’m sorry, I much prefer leftfield and thinking for myself. Yes, my teeth are yellowed from kajillions of cigs, a few pair’a jeans in need of darning, several shirts, shorts, shoes, slung about in the backseat’a the car.. “Victor, your really should….” BITE ME, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. I am Victor, NOT YOU.

Victor, you really should answer your phone at work like “Transpo Services, this is Vic., may I help you?”.. BUT.. I so enjoy our caller ID.. I much prefer “Pizza Hut, would this be dine in or carry out?”. or… when seeing vendor’s number.. “Southwest Port Services, this is Naomi, may I help you?”.. giggle… “No, this is Gary w/SW, how are ya Vic.” I know I shouldn’t, but I’m sorry, I like having work at fun.

I should……….. go straight home after work. Exercise more. Attend church services weekly. Tidy up the damn home s’more. (or any.).. LOT I should do – so – if you remind me, it has the OPPOSITE AFFECT, of is that effect, damn I get them two mixed up.. I should look ‘em up. Oops.

Honest though, whenever someone does wing that “Victor, you should…….” at me, I’m inwardly appreciative. Means they care. Means they’re, in good faith, trying to help. Still.. bite me, leave me alone, practice what you’re about to preach, A to B conversation, C your way out.. get the hell out… scram… ixnay.. seeya later, scadoodle, don’t let the door hitya in the ass………… marilyn. Hehe.

Should should… (can you start a sentence using should twice in a row?).. Should should be something that comes from yourself, internally. (Apparently the brains behind Microsoft Word think you CAN’T use should twicein a row in a sentence, ‘cause the basta’s underlined the second one in RED… as if to say (albeit silently) “shouldn’t do that.” SCREW SPELLCHECK TOO! I can write “howareya” if I wanna, cause THAT’S how people say it! Stick THAT up your Funk and Wagnall!

That’s it. I’ve had my say. I love, honest, those that espouse with the “Victor, you should….”.. I just don’t/won’t listen to ‘em. Eww. Huh uh. Fingers in ears. I’ll wing a rubber band at ‘em over the cubicle wall soon, that’ll teach ‘em. Good intentions. I don’t givea crap. It’s me, albeit imperfect me.

I said, Hey! You! Get off of my cloud
Hey! You! Get off of my cloud
Hey! You! Get off of my cloud
Don't hang around 'cause two's a crowd
On my cloud, baby….

I should go now. Go take on the day. (Bite me Dr. Laura, I hear you have hella big skeletons in your closet anyways.) Love, Victurd.

Only the lonely….

Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah
Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah
Oh oh oh, oh oh ah
Only the lonely, only the lonely

Computer teach me “There is a great difference between being lonely and being alone.” Reckon that’s true. Also say “Contrary to many beliefs, the elderly are not the most lonely among us. It is young people who are most lonely.” K, but this ole house is hella quiet.

Only the lonely
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)
Know the way I feel tonight
(Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
Only the lonely
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)
Know this feeling ain?t right
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)

Wonder who/how one becomes expert on lonely, ‘nuff to give online advice. Basta prolly married, house chock fulla rugrats. Continues, when lonely: write letters (eh, I do, emails.)…read (not a book person).. paint (ahm, next please).. sew (you have GOT to be kidding me)..

care for a pet (aha, now this I like… son, awhilst back, “Dad, meet our new cat Bandit.” Bandit has Zorro like markings, kinda cool. Three months later. “Dad, getting an apartment. Oh, and they don’t allow pets.” Ever since whatshername backed over onea our cats, any cats here have been exclusively indoor cats. Bandit ain’t fixed. So he be outdoor cat. Ie, hella more successful in the game than his master. Goes, 20, 30, FORTY days at a time. “Ah, he ain’t coming back this time, prolly met his maker with a raccoon, bobcat or something.” And then, he’s crying to get in. Remembers, after 40+ days, where bowl, litter box, my lap, favorite sunning spot is. Interesting little cat.)

There goes my baby, there goes my heart
They?re gone forever, so far apart
But only the lonely know why I cry
Only the lonely

Roy, I disagree. Whilst tweren’t my idea for either of two former to bootscoot, I don’t bemoan their absence, nor beg they return. Sun, wrinkles, calendars have taught me so.

Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah
Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah
Oh oh oh, oh oh ah
Only the lonely, only the lonely

Nuther Googled site suggests… Be happy (am that)… Do everything you would normally do with a partner or friend. (ahm, ok.. HA!).. “Learn something new. Learning is the most important aspect of living alone. It helps to keep the boogeyman away, and also gives you something to talk about when you do have to actually enter society.” Mebbe, but right now I think I’ll attack a Sudoku evil puzzle.

Get a pet. Scroll to above. Read. Scroll to above. Join an online community. Did. Exercise. Damnit. Listen to lots of music. Do. In fact, thanks to no air conditioning, I very much crank up the radio in my hot 1997 Buick LaSabre and allow others to hear old people tunes from the past. Music reverberates thru/to the soul. Good idea online lonely expert. Go outside. Another I’ve kinda avoided, and I “grew up” outdoors. Ok, will try sir (or ma’am).

Only the lonely
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)
Know the heartaches I?ve been through
(Ooh yay, yay, yay, yeah)
Only the lonely
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)
Know I cry and cry for you
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)

All in all, alone ain’t bad. I can remember, when in relationship, family setting – how I still cherished alone time. Victor, you speaky with forked tongue, fess up brother.. you’re so GD (gosh darn) horny, and you can’t wait until that day you see her walk from the bed to the bathroom after ((STOP! I have family here!.. you can’t read my mind! Whothehell are you?!!!))

Maybe tomorrow, a new romance
No more sorrow but that?s the chance
You?ve got to take, if your lonely heart breaks
Only the lonely
(Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah)

Yet third online alone expert espouses “There’s a big difference between wanting somebody to be part of my world and not being able to function without that person.” Oh, I likes that one. Alone ain’t ideal, but, it’s like poker. You play the hand you’re dealt. I likes poker. I likes life. Sometimes I fold, sometimes I rake ‘em in. Smoke cigs, have a beer. Share (repeated) ‘war stories’. Laugh, look, people watch, ‘converse’ inwardly, mind going a mile a minute.

Sure, I’d love to walk into the Ford dealer and say “yep, gimme that fancy, new, blue, souped up 2010 Mustang over there sir.” Reality. What is. Checkenginelight. 1997 Buick LaSabre. Me/music cranked. Dum dum dum, dummy doo wah.

Only the lonely. Love, Victurd. (Victurd, I love you too!)

A winter's day...

Rock?

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

The next stanza is really sad to me. Closing off life. Not allowing it to invade. Easier to not feel than feel. Sad, really really sad.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I so so enjoy those moments where feel overcomes control. I think aging is a wonderful tonic to allow those emotions to surface. Cry damnit, for it’s ok.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Wasn’t my intent to turn this to “loved and lost”, but the lyrics made me do it. Been there, no great regrets. Many a good/great hour, day, week, year. Little things, from the shoes, nowadays really stir me. Last night, WJC basketball reunion banquet. Seeing a couple of gal former teammates glance at each other across the room – hurriedly meet halfway for a great big “I love you as a person” hug. Farm out.

Watching the Ryder Cup, just this morning.. A long putt goes in, doesn’t matter the team, it’s watching the jubilation, the glee, the ‘just after’ moment that causes me to well up. "Feel" moves.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I love allowing life to happen. To feel. To see pics on Facebook of a new granny with her babe in arms. To watch the parents watch their kids in the Mickey D play area, the excitement of the little ones face transferring the joy to the faces of the parents. Nice.

My father grew up in the era of “men don’t/shouldn’t show emotion.” As my father’s bastard Parkinsons progressed – it did afford one positive. When those heart tug, emotional life moments came, dad was brought out of his controlled stare. Chin quivered, eyes watered, words were difficult to get out. Nice. Very. I knew he ‘felt’ all those years.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Life bebbe, it’s for feeling. For if we leave here without feeling, the hell’s the use in even ever being here. I am truly gonna try to live, from hither on out, like “today is my last day here.”… “Shit” can run off my shoulders. Money woes, sure, they’ll happen. I, though, plan to be in the driver’s seat in dealing with, or not dealing so well with, emotion - and that's certainly ok by me.

I am thankful to emote. Little stuff plays large. The element of surprise, the joy of familiarity, God’s gift of eyesight… wrinkles earned in smile. Crow’s feet formed by an occasional tear. I don’t care. I’m here to feel. Today might be my/our last day, ya just never know. Open sesame heart. Life rocks, rocks don’t. Love, Victurd.