Slow down, you move too fast.......

Good gosh.  Is this another one of his bleeding heart "life is short, make every moment last."

Ahm, nope.It's just a reminder, lack of mobility is the number one reason folks enter the Golden Acres Nursing Home, thus, slow down, you move too fast. Got to make both hip bones last, eating smart, exercising, kicks down those gallstones.. Look for fun but stay off the snow and ice, instead stay home and watch a movie...Ba da-da da-da da-da, watch a movie.

Like many around, I miss old Liberty.  The old 2 lane roads.  Now, everything is 4 lane with a median between.  Just the other night I drove to the Corner Cafe, turned left to get there, and presto, it was JUST LIKE OLD Liberty!  At least every other car was waving at me!  Soon, I realized I turned BEFORE I got to the median and I was going the wrong direction.  Oops.  Such is aging. (Almost every article I read spells it "ageing" (or aging).. I'm lazy.  We'll use aging here.

Studies find that nearly half of Americans age 65 and over have sex at least once a month and that nearly half also wanted to have sex more frequently. (Gee. I wonder which half?)

"The gender gap in life expectancy is narrowing."  Damnit.  Someone had said Arizona is 9 to 1, I was really considering moving.

Horny old broads, dirty old men. Them new generations, they find that thought, talking about old people and sex, is disgusting. "It's for reproduction...attractiveness... power."  Then again, "Oh crap, I hope to be old one day, maybe I should pay attention, maybe it ain't that disgusting."

The 70 year itch, some call it.  Geriatrics expert Dr. Walter M. Bortz relates "Use it or lose it. Studies show people that have sex live longer." (There is ZERO correlation as to why I list my cell number here, 816-867-5309). "People need people." Just ask Barbara...she's 79 now.

Strange, Doc says... "One obstacle not expected is adult children who may be less than pleased to see their aging parents as sexual beings."  Funny how the tables turn eh?

"One advantage of growing older is that personal relationships can take on increased importance as children and careers take a backseat. Seniors can devote more time and energy to improving their love lives. And while some seniors may be forced to give up strenuous sports, sex is a physical pleasure many older people readily enjoy."  And to think how depressed I was a few years back when I hung up my softball mitt... Play ball!  I mean, well, you know... 816-867-5309.

"Sex at age 90 is like playing pool with a rope."  George Burns.

"Older women are best because they always think they may be doing it for the last time." -- Ian Fleming... There he goes again with that bleeding heart life is short take again.

I took the liberty (there's that word again) to Google 'the most popular sexual self help books.'  Below are some examples, as well as possible Volume II suggestions I might send to the authors:

The Ethical Slut (The Retired Ethical Slut)

Come As You Are (Come As You Are, Teeth or No Teeth)

Better Sex Through Mindfulness (Better Sex Through Mindfulness and Forgetfullness)

So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex (So, Tell Me Your Name Again And About The Last Time You Had Sex)

Girls And Sex (Horny Old Broads And Sex)                                                                                  Boys And Sex (Dirty Old Men And Sex)

Great Sex Coupons (Great Sex Coupons, Hurry, They Expire Soon)

Great Sex For Hard Times (Great Sex For Softer Times, paperback)

Online dating..and men over 60. One lady protested that her tighter than Jack Benny date wanted her to pay half the gas for their two mile drive to dinner.  The second man continued to call her "Cutie Pie" despite strident protest.. and the third gent announced he had taken Viagra and he was primed for a night to remember.

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.. little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman." Emo Phillips

So, DON'T STOP, which is not to be confused with DON'T, STOP!    Paradise by the LED lights (better lighting reduces Seniors falling, which, gets us right back to where we started.) It's all about balance.  That, and, canoeing while you still have two oars in the water, otherwise, life's just one big circle.

By Henry Gibson.........   Forward by Hugh Hefner and Mae West

Love, Victurd