Way back in Marrieddom, circa turn of the Century, I eyeballed a painting on the wall I'd never seen... so, asked, "When'd we get that?" About two years ago.
Am I the only soul out here that can be naive to paying attention to it all? Recently, I took onea them tests online.. usually a list of ten or so questions, for all to take, see their score. You know the annoying ones (Victor, I come here to relax, stop). Ahem, you know the annoying ones "I got 10 outta 10", of course you did. Or, "Cinchy".. well hells bells, no breaky you arm patting yourself on the back... OK, my test was about current events, movies, TV, actors, actresses... I think I got 3 right out of 20. I don't pays no attention sometimes, but, there are moments I actually like me.
I wrote all that about this.. I was trying to think of the lyrics of that song "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life" and I couldn't remember the next line. IE (Can you do 'ie' in CAPS? Ain't never seen it that way.) ie, I wanted the gist of the blog to be about 'how to be happy.' Anyways, the next line (after "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life" - "Never make a pretty woman your wife." WELL THAT AIN'T gonna work.
So my brain, thoughts, raced like the dad gum dot on the old game "Pong".. this thought, no, that thought, huh uh...
I thought about the living room I grew up in. My sister and I didn't really have a regular ole regular place to sit, but mom and dad sure did. Mom had a comfy chair and ottoman.. Of course a lamp nearby (avid newspaper reader).. in earlier years, cigs, ashtray, scads of magazines, 'Her spot." Thinking of her spot made me happy. Dad sat at the South end of the sofa. A wooden 'rack' on the end table next to him accommodated a nifty supply of 'pipes', whichever one he wanted to use dependent upon his mood.
Your grandparents? When that thought comes up, I see my grandfather on the metal swing on the front porch listening to Cardinal baseball with his transistor. i 'see' my grandmother at her chair in the living room, much the same as my mother's chair. These thoughts make me happy.
That. Thinking of that made me happy.
Then I thought about little kids. Little kids make me happy. Some of the best 'dates' I've ever had in my life consisted of my date, her grandkids, me, my grandkids, and a high school (or junior high) play. Truly, enjoyment for all. Plays made me, my date, and the grands happy. Win win. Beat the hell outta droppin' a hunnerd at The Hereford House.
And then I thoughta music, going to concerts... sports.. sitting in the bleachers (or on the bench.) Me? My comfy chair. Hell to the yes. Gimme the remote, pull the blinds, pull that wooden arm so it lays back, my legs are up.. yum. It's Monday, I don't have to work until Thursday, jump in my chair (ok, plop), leave me alone until Thursday morning, yes!
And then, what is in common with ALL OF THOSE WONDERFUL THINGS that bring happiness?
A butt. They all include a butt. Sitting on my butt makes me happy. They paid me for twenty years to do so. These college basketball coaches, I don't get it. They work their way up (jr high, HS, small college asst, small college head coach, big ole college asst, finally, big ole college head coach), finally, money that would make a spouse happy, and WHAT DO THEY DO? They stand the whole game. It's no wonder they ain't got no fingernails, have heart problems, gripe at the refs, and get short with reporters in interviews. Sit down dadgummit. Sitting makes one happy!
"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up." Ogden Nash (I agree Og, 'cept for them hardheaded coaches.)
A friend's brother recently broke his arm, can't do his job with a broken arm, so, he's at home. Friend told me "He's completely fine with just sitting at home." ME TOO!
Car rides. Park benches. Ferris wheels. Go carts. The view from a ski lift. Canoe trips. Front porches, back porches. Breakfast out and a newspaper. BUTT I get it! Happiness is all about the tush!
"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar." George Carlin (I think so 2 George, no pun intended.)
Playing cards. Playing Cards Against Humanity except for when you gotta read something really raunchy and you don't know the people you are playing with very well.
EATING. Eating makes me, and my waistline happy! (All those years sitting in the cubicle, the "Wellness" kick came into fruition, employers became concerned for your personal health, which, is fancy for howinthehell do we keep health insurance rates low? Anyways, nurses would come, give everyone tests on wellness.. taking blood, blood pressure, heartrate, yada.. and one of them was measuring your waist to help attain one's BMI.. "OK, now I'm going to measure your waist" Oh you don't need to do that (I said). I've worn size 36 jeans forever. "Yeah but, but we don't measure there, we measure here (and she pointed up higher where my damn belly was sticking out. How did I get here? Oh yeah, sitting, eating makes me happy.
It is normally par for the course for me to say "Please know I ain't preaching, I'm here, talking to me, hitchhikers welcome." BUTT, in this case. I'm preaching. SIT ON IT. Sitting on one's butt makes happiness.
And if you're ever in a tiff with someone and they disgustedly tell you to "SIT ON IT!" just reply, I THINK I WILL!
"I have no philosophy. My favorite thing is sitting in the studio." Arne Jacobsen
"Being alone and actually sitting with your own thoughts can lead to such growth and realizations that are rare in our everyday busy lives." Kourtney Kardashian
I read your mind and I DID NOT say anything close to "Kardashian, big butts."
Butt, maybe it's not such a bad thing. My second favorite boss ever usedta tell us "Get you one'a them (women) that you don't have to shake the sheets to find."
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife... Sit down, stay awhile - and enjoy.
By Henry Gibson Forward by Sitting Bull
Love, Victurd
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