I have no idea if this will ever be posted. #1, why would anyone want to know what I dream about? #2, from the sounds of my first couple dreams, pretty strange. The strange part doesn't scare me though.
I'm presently on like 6 different kinds of medicine, so, that may contribute to, accelerate my personal weirdness, or, my dream's weirdness - but then, I've always had weird dreams. I always wanted to write down what I dream about - always forget, so thought, what the hey, I'll try. If after reading any of these damn blogs it hasn't already been explained "I'm weird", well fer sure now you'll know.
I've had dreams where I wakeup breathlessly scared, mostly worried about something trivial, but, sometimes "Boom" huge... whatever that transition is between asleep, REM's and "shit I need coffee" and, numerous times I've nearly tinkled in my undies..or.. pinched myself to see if this is real.. or, exhaled big time to realize it's just that, a dream. I've immersed in huge worry dreams about diddies, projects at work I hadn't done, was very behind on, "in trouble", then sleep/REM/shit realize "You dumb ass, you're retired." Oh yeah.
Go fish, first recorded dream. I was at home. No idea where home was, but I was there. I was coupled. No idea who with, but I was. 'She' came home and told me "I was driving home by the old Library, going up the street and there was this humongous fish, an OCEAN fish, lying, flipping, flopping in the road. Crazy." Yes, I thought she was. So, I was outta smokes, or, beer, or, wanted a burger, don't remember - and I drove to get that/those. On my way home, I gotta drive by the Old Library to get home anyways, and I seez me this large damn Ocean fish, still flipping, flopping in the middle of the road.
He/she (how do you tell?) was the length of a baseball bat, fatter, and gorgeous. Teal, aqua, deep blue, golden/yellow tones... and had these octopus feeler suction things on it's bottom, but not 'arms', just suction cup like things. (No, I've never done LSD, nor would I.)
So, I pullover, dial 911, explain this really ain't an emergency, but I didn't know the non-emergency number. That's all I remember about the call. Soon, lady cop shows up. She too was amazed by flipping, flopping Ocean fish, but like the Farmer's Insurance guy on TV commercial, she acted like "Seen it before." How can I help you? I quarried. "Grab me that red male body bag there." I moved without thinking, but then I thought "How come red?" Then again, blue is my favorite color, so, all good.
I helped her scoop it up into the bag. I'd wondered if regular tap water would kill it, or, whereinthehell she'd get saltwater. Knowing the ocean was only 8 miles North of Liberty, MO, I asked her if I could ride with her. (Remember, it's a dream, ocean 8 miles North of Liberty is believable in a dream.). "No that's ok, but thanks." Then I thought maybe she didn't want me to ride with her because I'd be getting the objective of getting her outta town while my buddy robbed the bank, so I understood.
Twas just then I transitioned "sleep, REM, shit I need coffee." Somewhere in the transition semi coherence re minded me Liberty was no where close to the Ocean and I'd hoped that she'd taken the little gal (feller?) to that Salt Water exhibit at Crown Center. By this time I was at full "shit I need coffee" mode, awake. "Hey, I gotta write that down! My first recorded dream!".. so, that's my start. If you are still here, don't swat me, but you are ONE BORED HUMAN BEING.
Dream #2, stay tuned, ain't had it yet.
A day went by. OK, just did have dream #2. In my dreams, I've been attending these games, kid games. No idea why, no idea who I know, I just have been. Kinda fun to watch. Twice now, I ended up sitting by this gorgeous young mom, no hubby in sight. The first time, she flirted. That's exactly when I realized I was dreaming. It was quick, so I didn't put pen to computer.
Then, it happened again. Sitting next to her. Twas uncomfortable in that she was really young and I am really old, but that didn't seem to matter to her. Idle chit chat happened. Then, she leaned completely across me, looked up over her left shoulder and asked me if I'd split some nachos with her. It was truly creepy old man stuff because her perfume smelled really wonderful, her eyes mesmerized, her raven black hair had that wonderful whatever the wonderful going shampoo product is. Her right boob was staring at me. Honest, I didn't stare first, it just popped out as if to say "hi". I trembled. Said "yes", then thought "Crap, do I have money." Whoever I came with was seated twenty chairs over, but at that very moment I didn't care about them, ha!.. I walked over, got my billfold, came back... and that's when I transitioned sleep, REM, shit I need coffee.
I gotta admit I then felt perverted, but i also thought about Hugh Hefner... and what with George Clooney just having a child at 60, I hurriedly tried to go back to sleep to see her again. I knew it would be fruitless. I knew if I ever did try to kiss her, it'd be like sitting at this damn computer and up would pop "Intimacy will start after ad." Hehe. Full awake.
I really chastised myself for being creepy, but then, I remembered taking this online test where you enter your medical history, your eating, drinking, exercise, (I was honest on everything) family medical history and it then projected at what age you'd die. Donald Trump is probably envious, I've got four more years, so, I didn't feel so bad about being creepy.
If you never come back to my blog, I'll certainly understand, but I promised myself no pussyfooting, tell the dreams just as they are. I did.
Love, Rip Van Victurd.
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