Yummy.....

Six baby blue eyeballs keep me here (the frozen tundra) year round.  Otherwise, I'd be in Arizona or Florida and that has everything to do with clime and nothing to do with female/male ratio,

Sucker.

I/we, have friends who live in these climates.  Can you imagine sandals, shorts, sunscreen 12 months a year?  Yum.  Yummy.....

But....

Victor, we've talked time and time again about how ya can't start a sentence with 'but.'

But, butt.. I'll take this frozen tundra, love it until they steam me up, place me in an urn, then dump me on the City Park ball field.

You see...  that guy Pavlov... he studied them hounds. He teased 'em, again, and again, and again, and again,.  He conditioned em..  He gave em, and gave em, and gave em... and then when he didn't give em, they frothed.  Growled.  Sneered.  Scratched with their paws.  They were conditioned to the point of "holy shit, what have I done?"

That's us Midwesterners long about this timea year.  From our slumber, we crack one eyeball open, snarling as we do.  It's still kinda grey out, but.... WAIT!  WAIT!  IS THAT A CROCUS?  And just down yonder a Pansy? And was that...was that... he rocks in the treetops all day long, hoppin' anda boppin' anda singin' his song, ROCKIN' ROBIN, tweet-tweet-tweet?  YES, it was!  (And what a refreshing change to all the other damn tweets we've heard for two years, sorry, kinda, not really.)

YUMMY!

The crack of the bat!  OK damnit, the ping of the bat, but it's inching closer to that time!  College basketball tourneys guiding us to selection Sunday, "The Dance..."  Strange dudes, dudettes, all loitering in the street, plastered in green, toting a Guinness...  I love a parade!  (Not to mention St. Pattys Day, my mom's BD... poor lady, nuttin' but green outfits for her BD for years.. she never complained, as, one, she never would, and two, her BD was the YUMMY time of year - here.  In Liberty, Misery.)

Soon, garden centers will be fuller than church pews.  Flattened bike tires will be aired up.  HEY LOOK!  THERE'S A CONVERTIBLE!

I've ironed all my shorts!  YIPPEE!  I've tried on all my shorts... damnit darnit... Kohls, here I come.

It's March Madness in the Midwest, and I don't just mean basketball.  It's our Final Four.. You know, Summer1, Fall2, Winter3, SPRING4!!!!!

Sure, we're envious of those of you living in tropical climes all year round...  uh huh, and we too are jealous of the croc tanlines on your bare feet.

That said, it's SPRING BABY...YUM AND HALLELUJAH!

Both eyeballs now wide open.  I think I'll go to church.. or Lowes... or for a bike ride... sumpin.

By Henry O'Sullivan Gibson,

Love, Victurd