New High Schoolers on the Block.....

As I tuned in Good Morning America this morning, the NKOTB (New Kids On The Block) were performing.  I ain't got any idea as to exactly what year those guys began, but it was very clear to me, they ain't kids any more.

So, I Google-Wiki'ed, only to find they were aged 47-52, hence, born between 1968 and 1972.  Their name kinda reminded me of my current lacka 401K situation, as in, who thinks of being an old fart when you're a young fart?  Thus, they still traversed around the stage as if they were "Kids" in spite of thinning hair, bulging waistlines, and hints of wrinkles.

So.. I envisioned them, as all aging bands do, having "Final", reunion, last-one money making tours around the US.  You know, like, "NKOTB last dance, just Kidding"... or... "Here it is, NKOTB, you're not a Kid any more"...  and then maybe a final final, "NKOTB, last one, we're not KIDDING"...

Then, I was reminded, in the late 60's, I/we were in HS, so why don't we stage our upcoming reunion as "NHSOTB", or, New High Schoolers On The Block."

It would be a wonderful 3 day extravaganza...  It'd begin by actually having school Friday in the Old High School.  First thing, we'd go to the Auditorium where roll would be taken.  Given the fact many of us don't hear like we used to, this would be an assisted roll call.. and after one's name was called, it would be completely permissible for anyone to say "He's in the next to the last row on the right", or "Second row, fourth person over on the East side."

Then, we'd proceed to the gym.  Insteada an open floor, there would be padded cots.  Of course a nap would be in order, especially for those who live East of the school and had to walk up all those damn flights of stairs to the front door.

Second hour would be a social time where we NHSOTB could catch up with fellow NHSOTB, dote on one's grandbaby pics, and share bursitis, arthritis, hip replacement stories.

Lunch, first come, first served, with plenty of food available and extra slices of pizza, as well as extra cinnamon rolls could be purchased..

Then, early out, for us NHSOTB to retire to area hotels or family member's homes to catch up on perhaps a nap, a bowel movement, and maybe even Days of Our Lives..

Early that evening, we'd all return to the gym (cots moved outta the place... a basketball court, the size of a pickleball court, with 6' goals, would be put in place) for a game between the Seniors, pun maybe intended, versus the NUOTB (New Underclassmen On the Block)...

There would be a Pep (to Bismol) Club, but gained entry would require wearing Depends spray painted in Bluejay blue.  The guys would be in the basement with their walkers and canes, while the Pep-to-Bismol-Club chanted "Waitin'..waitin;.. waitin' for the Bluejays" for fifteen minutes whilst the players made their way up the stairs.

After everyone was winded, we'd march to the Square with our Garden Seats in hand to prepare to Whitewash the Square.  Lights and music would be supplied by those two guys in the class of 69 that always did all the electrical junk.  Rodney and Robbie I think it was.

Saturday, the Parade.  Football players would gather at the base of the Hill by the football field at the old high school, a firetruck with scads of pairs of bolted on jeans awaited them at the top of the hill.  A race would be held to the top of the hill, and anyone who makes it would be considered a winner.

The cheerleaders would ready themselves to ride in the... nevermind, I forgot nonea you guys tried out for cheerleader.  Band members would be battened down in chairs on Petty's hay truck, and the Pep-to-Bismol-Club, with an extra pair of Depends just in case, will lead the way.

Saturday night, late, say 6pm.. we'll gather at the base of "Mattinglys" and one by one ride the "Stair Glide" up those horrible metal stairs to the old JC Hall.  (Stair Glide would be setup like the carts at Aldi's, you stick a quarter in for the ride up, and retrieve it later that night at the base of the stairs.) Hey, we, the NHSOTB, we're having a "Sock Slide."  Not a sock hop?  Be for real, at our age, a hop?  (Last word Johnny Dolan was retired somewhere in Florida,  so volunteers are asked to bring turntables and albums for the party.)

At 8pm sharp, we've got the OATS bus reserved.. for those of you that ain't in Missouri, that's the "Older Adults Transportation Service".. to take us all to Kansas.  We're pretending the drinking age in Missouri is 69, but Kansas is 66, thus, we're going to Pub Crawl to One Block West, Shakeys, Pirate Inn, and finish off by all going to Sammys to sing our Alma Mater.

Back to Liberty, bedtime.

Classmates may not leave Liberty until Sunday after 12pm.  We had to come up with a way to finance all of the above.  Late, late, Saturday evening, David Moffitt and Stephen Webb volunteered to gather orange cones, and on Sunday morning, the cones will be aligned on the lanes of the Christopher Kit Bond Bridge (Paseo) where we each will take a one hour turn collecting dimes from commuters North and South.

Last 'tour', I'm not kidding, maybe.