Wait for it…..

Suffice to say we’ve all seen the videos with this suggestion.. warning.. Reminder.. May be like a yap dog bugging, hounding, persistently yapping/barking at an old, wise, calm, laying down hound seemingly ignoring the ‘yapper‘.. Finally, the old hound has had enough - one quick bark/lunge and the yap dog is sent 12 feet back in a millisec..

Life likens this. Wait to walk.. Wait to get this damn diaper off.. Wait to go to school.. Middle school.. Summer.. Junior High..Summer.. High School.. Wait to drive.. Wait to get the heck outta high school.. Vote…

I remember once having a flat belly, wearing embarrassingly short shorts, playing on the high school basketball team. We’d be in the locker room prior to game start, and the cheerleaders would lead the crowd in a chant.. “Waitin’, waitin’… waitin’ for the Bluejays”… finally we emerged.. And quickly submerged.. I think we finished 7-14. “We waited.. For this?”

Wait for it.

Friday. Payday.. Spring. Summer. Fall. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Marriage. “I waited for this?” jk. Kinda sorta.

You wait for kids…. To finally leave.

November 6th.

2020.

VICTOR! Sorry.. Been twiddling my thumbs waiting.

Out and about, finding a place to pee. It comes to a point, there ain’t no more waiting.

I’ve found, sometimes, waiting can be torturous. When Mickey D’s came up with the idea to add a SECOND drive thru lane - they shoulda known they were asking for trouble. I recently heard about an old codger that pulled to the outside lane. He waited. And waited. And waited. Crickets. No snotnose voice. Over a minute later, a car finally pulls into the inside lane, and IMMEDIATELY snotnose says to that car “Hi, and welcome to Mickey D’s, may I take your order?” The old codger fumed, dropped the car outta park and headed to the first window. There, he was met by a quizzical snotnose face who looked at him, looked at the empty order screen,glanced back at the codger with that “Whothehellareyouandwhatdoyouwant” face.. He finally said “I think my speaker is broke… so I pulled around.” She took his order, and he fell into his rightful, earned place in line.

WELL, I was tired of waiting. Sorry. Kinda.

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” Joyce Meyer. (I bet you woulda pulled up too Joyce.)

Cutting in line takes a lot of mental energy.

Ya wait for grandkids. Ya wait for company to come, leave. Ya wait for your favorite TV show.. Oh, I know there’s On Demand, but I ain’t got that kinda patience. I see/talk to someone in advance, and it never fails I hear, without wanting to hear, how the show ended. What team won. The final score. I ain’t gonna wait for that.

I once bought the wrong size socks for my grands from WallyWorld at Christmas time. My daughter inlaw and I were headed there for something else on the 26th, and she said “I think I’ll grab those socks and exchange them.” Without suggesting she was crazy, I told her she was crazy. As we entered, there it was.. The Return line for Customer Service.. It went all the way to Kearney, then around Excelsior, thru Mosby, and back inside the WallyWorld in our hometown. “I don’t think I’ll wait for it” she said.

Some website figured all about Waiting for it:

20 minutes a day for the bus.. 32 at doc’s office.. 28 minutes in security line waiting to travel.. 21 minutes for significant other when waiting to go out.. 13 hours a year on hold for customer service.. 38 hours a year waiting in traffic..

Wait for it.

Human beings spend approximately 6 months of their lives waiting in line for things - that’s three days a year.

And, it’s been 13 years (this time) in waiting for Mrs. Victurd. Oh well, the longer ‘she’ waits, the more of me she’ll get. I loves me some processed food, chips, fries, cheese, yada. ("There was no need to cremate him.. his skeletal remains were found in his easy chair, with his laptop on Match.com")

“If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.” Morris West. (I bet Morris woulda driven up at Mickey D’s that day too.)

“Waitin’, waitin’, waitin’ for the Bluejays.

Suckers.

Love, Victurd