As lock would have it...

Locks are kind of an interesting invention. Sad that we ever needed them – but, a result/reaction to human nature. Wiki tells me (and those dudes at Wiki are never wrong.. just ask Snopes) wooden locks and keys were in use 4,000 years ago in Assyria.

I remember (and I'm old) my combination (10-20-10) to my high school locker. Remember stuffing freshmen in lockers? Amazing they'd fit, but... ever taken a shower on a cruise? Bout the same size as a HS locker!

There's bike locks, cam locks, child safety locks, deadbolt locks, disc tumbler locks, electronic locks, luggage locks, police locks, magnetic keyed locks, spring bolt locks, time locks (the hell's a time lock wiki?) - all kinda locks.

I remember once (Victor, I think you've told this one already... bite me, it's a privilege of gettng old, retelling crap).. I remember once... a somber time turned light.. .The day before my mother's funeral, my sister and I were having a wonderful visit recounting mom stories – as we sat in the Mobile home of my uncle... She excused herself to go to the restroom... I hear this “click”.. as she was coming out I asked “Vanda? The hell did you lock the door for? Did you like think I was going to come in?” A shared giggle...

Locks keep bad guys out, and dogs in. Steering wheels from turning, and cars from starting. Gal at work has onea those spiffy start-the-damn-car-from-your-office-desk thingys, and the other day I ran and tried to jump in right after she started it – nuh huh, locked. Damnit.

At work, we have a code thingy where we have to swipe our palm, enter a code, and jualah, door unlocks. Every time we lose a coworker, new codes for the lock.

Victor, why a friggin blog on locks? Please share the key to your weird brain. Ok... .McDonalds, Sunday morning – this is a recording. Me, the newspaper, my senior coffee – it's a weekly event. As I was getting outta car I hear some chimes. Same chimes that tell me “keys still in ignition” (nope, they weren't) or that the lights are still on (nope, they weren't)...

I am still a trusting soul – I usually throw my keys on the visor. Did this morning too. Paper, coffee, sausage biscuit, sausage mcmuffin later, back out to get in car, take on day. Oh shit. Locked. A wise person would have a second set of keys, but noooooooooooooo. Ten blocks from home. Cigs and lighter staring at me laughing from inside the car. I hoofed it.

$112 heater fan switch thingy three weeks ago. $85 “oh shit my driver's side window won't go up and it's 32 degrees this morning” switch two weeks ago. $114 battery last week. And now I lock my friggin keys in the car ON A SUNDAY! I'm an idiot.

Four blocks in, a GD (gosh darn) leg cramp. GOSH I hope no one sees me walking. Finally home. Haha, packa cigs by computer. Thank you stove, I needed that fire. Googled locksmiths. Google
“How much does it cost to get your car unlocked?” and it ranged from $35 to $200 (dependent upon the time of day, location, and of course -weekends higher.) Crap.

Yellow pages. No, they're not passe'.. Still need 'em. Local #, called.. “No, I don't work on weekends.. but you can try Liberty Tow”... asked the guy outta curiosity how much he charges.. “$60”.. Figured I was looking at a hunnerd plus... Called Liberty Tow.. . Dude actually lives three blocks from me.. Came to pick me up.. Even took my credit card... “FORTY DOLLARS!” YIPPEEEEEEEEE!

Shook his hand, thanked him, thought “I'll go RIGHT NOW and get a key made to keep in my billfold.” Procrastination led me here. Damnit. That's it. Another checkenginelight story of me/my cruddy vehicles.

Tune in next week... who knows... antifreeze leak.. brakes cinching up.. starter out... alternator, hell who knows. As lock would have it. Love, Victurd.