I'd like to be... under the sea... in an octopus's garden, in the shade....
No, that ain't it...
I'd like to own McBowl where I could announce "We had a nice game on lanes 11 and 12 by so-and-so, 279." Then, run and grab a 300 burger.
I'd love to commandeer an Atkinson Taxi in 1960-something, drive from Wilshire to Glenaire to Birmingham Rd to the old wooden Bridge, to BlueLight, past the Dari Joy... at Christmas time. Get paid to do that?
I'd like to snooze for a week in the Press box at WJC back in the day... watch George manicure the grounds.. Hank holler encouragement, linebacker Bobby throw the football 75 yards, Jan a kickin' on the baseball field with goalposts in the outfield... then I'd announce Liberty's Friday night trouncing for the Dueling Pistols, Saturday's annihilation by Billy Jewell over Mo Valley, wakeup Sunday to Gano Chapel's bells... then go have coffee and a huge omelette at Trail's Inn.
I'd like to wear a shirt and tie, smoke cigs and sell TV"s, stereos, washers, dryers at Woody's in October AND give 'em free peanuts and Pepsi as we watch the World Series on BRAND NEW color TV's!
I'd like to be "the Mattingly's greeter" and smile, point the little snotnoses (said lovingly) to "Downstairs is where the toys are!"
I'd like to be a dog back then... run from Billy Jewell to the old High School.. up to Nashua.. back to the Square.. around the Cemetery, LEGALLY before them leash laws.
I'd like to visit with Bert and the resta the trash collectors as they go door to door trying to drum up business before the days of bid/force fed collection.
I'd like to take a nifty $5 bill, go to Halliseys and see if I could do my Christmas shopping. I'd Doodle (perhaps pun intended) and check it all out, taking my sweet time.
I'd run to Dairy Queen, buy me the tallest Peanut Buster Parfait from back in the day before they cost more than a six pack.
I'd get me a part-time job working for Mr. Mace stringing kid's ballgloves at night.
I'd take my allowance, go the both D'Agee's and Fischer's to buy my mom a rose.
I'd run to every schoolyard in Liberty (before they locked 'em all with gates/fences), climb the monkey bars, race around the dodge ball circle, and, if there weren't any girls a watchin', I'd do me a hop scotch or two.
I'd go see if Chief Collins would letme ride around with him for an hour or so, then, I'd knock on Sheriff Haye's door to see if I could shine all those nifty Junior Sheriff badges before he handed them out.
I'd go to the City Park, but first get me a clothespin to put on my nose so I wouldn't smell all that dog poop, then, I'd go stall to stall looking to find the prettiest horse.
Another day, I'd go to the City Park, no clothespin this time, but, ballglove on my handlebars. a game or seven of Indian ball... then, challenge the fellers to look under the bleachers to see who could be first to find a wheat penny.
Once I got my license, I'd grab my swimsuit, drive up and down the road infronta Repperts a waitin' for the flag to be raised, yippee/swim if it was.. .if it wasn't, we'd head to Holly Lake and see who could swing out on the tree rope the farthest into the lake. It it tweren't a school night, we might do both!
I'd grab me a tube sock, walk ALL THE WAY around Claycrest Golf Course a huntin' golf balls in the woods.. then, I'd setup shop at the bottom of the hill and sell frustrated golfers their balls back. Gotta be easier than finding pop bottles, rollin' 'em in the red wagon to Safeway without breakin' 'em.
Fast forward to today, heck, I get winded walking from the car to the house - but, take me back in the day, 5-6 inches of snow on the ground. we'd make 63 trips up the hill to sled down the Jewell Hall hill before we went and feasted on hot chocolate.
I'd like to crawl in bed to that yummy smell of the sheets mom just put on straight from the clothesline.
I'd like to play smartypants (No Victor, not you?!) and run into Boggess.. see if I could fool the ladies into openin' the wrong drawer when I asked 'em for a #4 penny nail, 12 gauge, inch and a half long. DANG! They never goof!
Walk to Breipohls. get my cinnamon oil for my cinnamon stick fix... catch the matinee at The Plaza Theater, and scadoodle home before the streetlights come one.
THEN, then, we'd have the biggest game of kick the can you ever seen. I loved growing up next door to a family with nine kids!
"Mr Brant? Do you have any size medium of those surfer shirts?....oh, no, sorry, not the red, that's another class.. our class wears the light blue ones.. got any of those?"
If I woke up in a bad mood... I might go to school and see how many fruit loops I could collect by day's end.
First high school class I'd sigh up for would be Mr. Franck's speech class, just so I could watch, hear him and his wonderful laugh. He had too much fun in life!
OK, I'm "Liberty-ed out", but, doesn't seem like a bad place.. I may stay here until I'm fitty, sixty, seventy.. the Good Lord a willin'.
By Henry (not to be confused with Henry Stanley Motors) Gibson
Love, Victurd
(BUT VICTOR! You didn't even make it to JFK?... . tomorrow.. hopefully the sun'll come out tomorrow.. we'll go... then we'll go get a Pat Price Ku Ku burger and see who all is loitering in his parking lot.)
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