Red and yellow and pink and green...purple and orange and blue...I can sing a rainbow...
Well, the colors above are mostly correct. The original Rubik's cube had six colors. On the six faces of the cube, there were nine stickers.. of six colors: White, red, blue, orange, green and yellow.
Some fool hearts think this was invented by the Hungarian sculptor and professor of architecture Erno Rubik in 1974. Nuh uh, way earlier. Actually, the Powhatan Indians, living in what is now Eastern Virginia in 1622...noticed their lunch pails.. six sides, a singular color on each side, were being painted different colors by these smartass, strange-talking, weird-dressing folks that had arrived in Jamestown,Virginia a few years earlier.
Wanting to get the damn extra colors out, they waged war, did battle with each other - and the cube was invented. (More on how those battles turned out later.) The Indians scattered across the vast land.A couple hunnerd years later, some newspaper editor and publisher named Horace Greeley, representing the new Liberal Republican Party (uh huh, ya read that right) ran for President against Ulysses S. Grant, lost, but he encouraged the smartass, strange-talking, weird-dressing folks to "Go West young man" so, it's assumed many of them, led by Louie and Clark, headed out.
It wasn't until years later a fellow in the town of Freiberg, Austria, unearthed the six-sided lunch pail in the backyard of Sigismund Schlomo Freud in the late 1800's. (No idea how the pail made it this far.)
Rumor has it that it coulda been transported by Frank E. Butler. Butler was the number 2 star of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. His role was to put a cigar in his mouth, turn sidedways, and his wife (aka Annie Oakley) would load her gun, aim, fire that sucker and knock the cigar outta his mouth. Once heard she came too damn close (maybe on purpose?) - and stage hands reported seeing him grab his lunch pail, head out the back door saying something about "Take this job and shove it." He was never heard from again.
Back to the backyard of Freud. He was planting water lillies, dug up the lunch pail, tossed the lillies aside, and he took the pail into his home. Originally Freud was gonna put the lunch pail on and end table and use it for decoration purpose, but he later decided to take it into his office to study it closer, and perform boo koo experiments over the next few decades.
He took two of the sides (Red and White) and called 'em the id. From his Rubik Cube lunch pail studies, he learned the id was all about instinct. Like hunger, thirst, and the drive for sex, or libido. Then, he used the Blue and the Orange as the ego. The ego works to rationalize the id's drive in the most realistic ways. I know, I'm getting boring. Need to move on. Will. One sec.
Finally, he grabbed the lunch pail, took the final two colors (Green and Yellow) and made them the superego. The superego, he taught us, is basically driven by morality principle.
Over the years he brought in many unsuspecting Austrians, had them experiment with the mixed up lunch pail Rubik's cube. The ones who tried to reassemble, and keep all the colors separate, he gave visa's, ocean passes, and transport to the new land (The United States) and he labeled these color separators as Southerners, having no superego (morality prinicples.)
The folks who took the cube, turned it every which way but loose creating bright, vibrants looks - he guided them to spots like Italy, France and the Netherlands and labeled them artists.
There were some very brilliant folks that refused to work on the cube to reassemble it to separated colors - one such was even quoted as saying "Why can't we be friends" - he teleported them across all lands to become preachers, teachers and leaders.
The next subset, he labeled the 'id'. They had zero concentration skills, all they wanted to talk about was fishing, hunting, beer, BBQ, derrieres and lacy underthings. He noticed these folks to be strictly male, and he extended their qualifier from 'id' to 'idiot.'
Years after Freud's death, as relatives were clearing out his belongings, they came across a file "Incomplete." It was the results of a certain set of folks working the Rubik's cube who would become emotional, well up, mildly chastise Freud with "There's a better way to do this", they'd frequently get up, run to the mirror to fix whatever, admire themselves, and, once in a great while they'd fly off the handle at Sigmund. He did connect that these folks were all females, and on the last page of his 'incomplete' psychoanalysis file they found written "I have no ghastly idea on how to describe, explain or understand this subset of folks." Many who followed in Freud's footsteps, studied same, agreed - and to this very day, it is unclear as to why, what, how makes this woman say "I am woman, hear me roar" but he did have notations "You'd better listen."
The lunch pail was not seen or heard from again until 1984 in the United States (A Freudian slip perhaps?). Snotnoses all across the land begged mom, dad for the Rubik's cube for Christmas. Kajillions were sold. Every Little Leaguer and Girl Scout had one. Teachers across the land confiscated them in class to keep the little rat bastards on task.
"Speedcube" contests were held to see who could get the original six colors back to the where they were originally. Yusheng Du holds the all-time record in 3.47 seconds. Many scoffed that this was impossible. Why, even a group led by a "Texas Longhorn" attacked the Rubik World Headquarters, tossing guards left and right, as they were just sure Yusheng took the colored stickers off, placed them back in the right place to win. They wanted a do over, even though judges deemed Yusheng did nuttin' wrong.
With life and a box of chocolates - you can grab a chocolate, turn it over, stab your thumb in it to determine if it's a yummy one, a sucky really crappy flavor one, or a pure chocolate one. Then you can put 'em back in the box rightside up and no one will ever know.
With life and Rubik, Sigmund determined there are men, Lord help them... women, God please help us understand them.. Separatists, we wish who would be comfortable with colors mixed... conspracy theorist folks, "not true, I don't believe it", and thank God, finally leaders, teachers and preachers who remind us life can be pretty good if we allow it to be.
Can you solve it all? Mark, set, go!
Love, Victurd
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