Yes, it takes three balls to juggle, but I'm gonna try it with two.
The first Sitty. Band camp, long ago (pre-wrinkles). Twas before I had that bald hole on toppa my head that I can't see, but my son reminds me of every time I see him. Anways, bonified Gate Agent for United Airlines. Mid-Winter. The Airport/airline ain't like School, the Library, even the Community Center. When it snows 6 inches, the edict is "Get here, the aiport may close, but we aint."
The second Sitty, my fat butt in this chair, staring at Facebook on the screen, thoughts within. Scary eh? The perfect man doesn't exist, but if I were perfect, every story I'd tell would be rosy, Pollyanna with a bow on top. Sorry, kinda. It was said proudly "I got my vaccine today!"... Yippee, backflip, did-it-hurt, how? Twelve responses kinda like that, an answer, and then "I'm older than you, I'm high risk, why did you get a shot infronta me?" Holy guacamole. "Ma'am? Ma'am? Tellya what. There are 328.2 million folks in the US. Do me a favor, grab your Big Chief tablet and list them, in order, of age, need, risk, yada, all that. K?"
"Welcome to United Airline flight 436 with nonstop service to Omaha." It was a half an hour before departure, but I was sposedta say that a half an hour before departure, so I did. There were two of us at the podium, I was still considered 'rookie', so my job was to assist any folks that needed a little extra assistance, while the other person checked the folks in, made sure folks were happy with where their seat assignment was. Dude. Older dude. Wheelchair. Next to the podium. My responsibility. He'd been there roughly 45 minutes and I'd yet to seen a glimmer of a smile, expression, eyebrow flick...he reeked of "I ain't happy, I'll never be happy, I'm gonna play the game "Ain't it awful" and you can't change that. <- I don't mean all this about his having to be in a wheelchair, I mean it was his take on life, long, long before wheelchair.
Second Sitty. Coffee made, being drank. (Drink, drank drunk, I think that's correct.) Soon, constitution. WHAT? Is this the real life, is this just fantasy, no escape from reality. We poop early in the morning. It's just nature, sorry. I watch a video of some folks awaiting the trash truck to pull up to their trash can. Hubby filming, lady out stopping the trashman. "Don't take this yet, open this." (A small box atop.) "Is this a trick?" refuse collector asks. "No!" He opens the box. There's a rolled up, long piece of paper, he unfurled like an old English Pronouncement.. then said "I can't take this." "Yes, yes you can," lady countered. Right then and there, he sang America the Beautiful, and he did so beautifully. I welled up and I didn't even know what was on the sign he was holding. I'm a wimp like that. Turns out it was the words "THANK YOU" and all of the letters were made with very large bills. I assumed hunnerds, couldn't tell for sure. Second Sitty a good sitty. Started shitty, sorry, ended goody.
"Folks as you can see, the snow is coming down like crazy. The plane has to be deiced, so our departure will be delayed at least 45 minutes. Old man sitting next to podium who hadn't smiled since Kennedy was in office, and that I was assigned to, let out air, groan, coupled with an I wanna kill facial expression.
Back to the fat ass Sitty #2 at computer. A Golden Retriever pic. Six pictures of the gorgeous one year old daughter of a former co-worker. Damnit, a political post. Doesn't matter the side. Dependent upon which side, it's the same critters lined up to say something smartass as if it were a recording of "We're not gonna take it" by Twisted Sister. Back to the aiport......please.
"Ladies and Gentleman I'm sorry to announce, with the snow still coming down here, and even moreso in Omaha, Flight 436 has been cancelled. We will do our best to assist you with the next possible flight out." My back was turned to Mr. Chirpy, but I could feel his eyes piercing me as if I were a 4 by 8 sheet of plywood at onea those axe throwing places that have popped up allover. "I'm sorry sir.. there is another flight in 2 hours, 40 minutes at gate 59, I'll take you down there now if that's ok with you." He didn't say no, so off we rolled toward gate 59.
Chair, PC. An amber alert. An ad for one to buy a race horse. A 50 year old pic of a gal I went to school with. Birthday wishes to a pal. A string of comments on an MU fan group I belong to where we'd just won a game in overtime, increased our record to 11-3, rated in the Top Twenty for the first time since Sprint Center T-Mobile-Cougarmellancamp was built and 32 of the 74 posts wanted to fire our head coach. Me no get it. I reckon glass ain't half full. The bastard leaks.
"Folks, I need to announce flight 446 to Omaha departure has been delayed 65 minutes in effort to deice the plane, plus, for getting the OK that we're good to proceed to Omaha, weather permitting." Sir? Can I get you a glass of water? A soft drink? Would you like a bag of peanuts? Do you need to use the facilities? His head spun sideways four times, which, I took as a no. Can I tell you a joke you cantankerous SOB? Just kidding, but I thought it.
Back to the juggle part where I'm at chair, PC. Coincidentally, weather, winter in KC, City has announced they are going to setup temporary shelter for the homeless at Bartle Hall. Yippee. Positive. S'more, s'more please. A picture of a Scottish castle. Someone's cat. A post about the previous administration. Good god Gerty. Same folks as usual lined up, potshots.
"Well, we appreciate your patience and I'm sorry to announce United Flight 446 to Omaha has been cancelled due to incliment weather both here and in Omaha. They presently have 7" on the ground and it's still snowing." More conversation with the lovebug...rolled him down to gate 55 where United Airlines flight 456 was (hopefully) set to depart in a little over an hour. It's close to dark-thirty and thankfully my shift ends in 3 hours. "Holler sir if you need anything, be happy to help." Exhale, groan, leer, repeat.
Sitty #whatever it is, can't remember but the one at the PC. Clown pic. A view from behind of a car with a piece of paper on back stating "Learning stick, sorry for any delay." A good posting. The paper prepared us in case anything happened. Post then pointed out, when we come upon people there are no notes that might say "Going thru divorce," "Diagnosed with cancer," "Just lost my mom," etc. A good reminder to give everyone an extra dose of patience.
The Airport Sitty. Time drags, snow continues to fall. This, the last jet service flight to Omaha is cancelled, I need to relate that to Chirpy over here. VICTOR! Remember, an extra dose of patience, you have no idea what's going on in his world! "Sir? I'm going to take you down to Gate 63 and our commuter service, United Express - they are to have a flight in a little over an hour. I really really hope for you the weather clears and we can get you to Omaha yet tonight." Crickets. Mean, staring crickets.
A Mahomes post (YAY!) A post where hubby relates to wife "I did the dishes" to which she replied "OMG, I'll start the parade." A posting of a furry Kermit stating "It's Sunday, and I just might stay in my pajamas all day." :
It's 42 minutes past what time I was supposed to get off, but I volnteered (or was volunteered, don't remember) to stay with Chirpy as he had no one else to assist him. Our 4th and last flight of the day to Omaha. Still snowing just like Bing Crosby dreamed it, both in KC and in Omaha. "Folks, I'm sorry to announce, they've officially closed the Airport in Omaha for the evening." I was in my late 20's, maybe early 30's, so I knew if the old feller took a swipe at me I was pretty sure I could move quick enough not to get punched. In summation of the day, and the very first discernable thing I heard him say all day...."Damn... I KNEW I shoulda flown Delta."
Love, Orville and Wilbur Wright.. Henry Gibson. .and Victurd
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