Looking over the bookcase....

Or, a little diddy about Jack and Diane. (Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

I always admired, maybe was even a tad jealous, of buddies in High School that could create, fix, understand things in Shop Class.  I loved our Shop Teacher ("Jack") even more.  Cool, calm..... let's be real.  Most of the kids that loved, shined in shop class HATED English, Math, Science, the Dictation, Rules, Regulation of teachers of "the three R's." Yes, suggesting they could be called rebel rousers.

Jack had 'em figured out. I never saw the man hurry. I never witnessed him getting his feathers in a bunch. He actually even had all ten fingers. He made class fun, happy, in spite of having to put up with my fellow rebel rousers and subjects like me that didn't know a lathe from a router.

Way back in the dinosaur days, I taught for a few years.  I always worried about controlling kids, a classroom - and one longtime teacher could sense my worry and told me "Don't let 'em see you smile until Christmas."  

Well, "Diane" was our librarian. I am certain a good lady, probably a good relative to kinfolk, was neighborly, but... I never saw her smile THE ENTIRE YEAR. Not that this has anything at all to do with that, but she was large.  Quite large.

My Senior year I collected all my final B-minuses, C-pluses, paraded with the others in those strange looking caps and gowns, and flipped the tassle from right to left.  Or was it left to right?.....

Anyways, I graduated. Needing money to eat, buy stuff, get gasoline to chase chicks I never caught - I got a job. A summer job.  For, the school district I went to. On the maintenance crew. The crew leader was, non other than Jack - yippee, I liked Jack.  He made work fun, and he never mentioned the lathe/router mixup I'd had. Certain he woulda preferred a different, more 'shop' talented rebel rouser on his crew - but he was stuck with me - and always, always nice, congenial, fun.

Long about late June, our boss came to our crew, looked ole Jack in the eye and gave us our task for the day.  It seems Diane had complained (imagine that) that "Kids are stealing books...See that six foot tall bookcase right by the door?  Well, they're grabbing books, hiding behind the tall case, then off they go, stealing the book."

Our boss said "Jack, I'd like you and Hank (that was me, I never in my life had a nickname until Jack's boss got ahold of me. He called me that, I guess, because his name was Vic too.) Anyways...he said.."I'd like for you and Hank to take that six foot tall bookcase, cut it exactly in half, making a couple of three foot tall bookcases."  "Can do" Jack said - off we went for the pickup truck to load the bookcase - take it to the shop to cut in half with the lathe, er, or the router, er, or a circular, jigsaw, compound miter saw...some kinda saw - I knew Jack would know exactly what we needed, and how to do so.

Undertanding my inabilities, he basically had me lift, hold, turn, twist, but never ever operate the saw as we split the bookcases.  He did all the cutting.  Perfectly. We brushed, sanded the bookcases, scooped up the sawdust - and loaded 'em in the truck to see if they met Diane's standards.

Got the the library, she wasn't there. Again, a big lady, we couldn't have missed her.  Offloaded the now three foot tall bookcases, headed back to the truck, to the shop to clean up, clean the tools, saws, call it a day, only to meet again in the morning.  Happy Jack whistled as we did so.

Next morning, our boss stands in fronta us for our daily assignment.  Jack looked at him and asked proudly, "well what did ole Diane think about the bookcases Hank and I sawed in half?"  Boss, smiled.  Looked at Jack and said "Well, she mentioned something about half-ass carpenters so I don't think she was happy"

With that, it unleashed a Jack version I'd never seen.  His feathers were clearly ruffled, his face as red as an apple.. easy to tell the ":half-ass carpenter" thing really bugged him. He stopped. Breathed deep, then let go (kinda screaming) "WELL YOU TELL THAT ASS AND A HALF LIBRARIAN......" I was laughing so hard, I don't even remember what he told our boss to tell her.  It was fun.  I loved working with Jack.  Being his student.  He made life fun.

A ltttle diddy, about Jack and Diane, two American educators doing the best they can.

Love, Victurd