Whoo pee.......

I pee a lot. I know, TMI, but it's nature.

Happens as one ages.

"Pee can be a window to your overall health."

When I hear running water, I haveta pee.

When I walk into any store, I haveta pee.

If the door happens to be locked, watch me dance (but don't look too close).

"Cat urine glows under a black light."

The first four holes on the golf course, all lined by houses, of course, make me haveta pee.

Coffee makes me haveta pee.

Beer makes me haveta pee.

Sometimes I haveta pee right after I pee. (repeet, I guess you'd call it.)

"The average adult produces 6.3 cups of pee a day." Victor, you're older, urine a different category.

I won't wear diapers, but then again, depends, ask me in a few years (the Good Lord willing I'm still here.)

I can close my eyes and recite exactly where all the men's bathrooms are in 73 Liberty, Missouri stores. Whoo pee.

When little kids haveta pee, you can see 'em grabbing down there. When that happens to old farts, it's already too late.

"Peeing on a jellyfish sting won't heal it." However, Google added "Pee is good for the skin." Eww.

My ex peed in a coffee can on I-70 once and didn't spill a drop. I was kinda proud. (I have two ex'es, and no I ain't tellin' which.)

"Pee is 95% water."

If you're ever in my car, don't ever drink from the plastic cup under the seat on the passenger side.

Victor, are you really writing a blog about pee. Whoo pee, I guess I am. What's wrong with that? I pee, don't you?

We old men with big bellies, nope, huh uh, that ain't from lacka exercise, too many burger and fries, it's simply pee. It's why we go virtually 24/7, to try to get ridda all that pee in our big belly.

Never use the pickup line "You're an 8" at a bar.

I've peed twice already while writing this. Good news, computer is right infronta bathroom door, I made it. (Curses to you for wondering if I sometimes don't.)

Victor, you realize you've got cousins, nieces, aunts, uncles that are reading this don't you? Uh huh, they pee too.

I always keep a pair of undies and a pair of jeans in my trunk. Has nothing to do with this blog, but it came to mind so typed it.

"Leaking a little pee when you laugh, sneeze, or exercise is known as 'stress urinary incontinence.' " I vote, "what's stressful about laughing?"

Old age, retirement is wonderful. One can write about pee and not givea rats what anyone else thinks. Do rats pee?

"Holding in your pee isn't usually dangerous." Uh huh, go sell that one at the assisted care facility.

Boy dogs hike a leg to pee, girl dogs squat - so why don't they just wait awhile insteada immediately running up to sniff their butt to see if boy or girl?

Google tells me 1 in 5 people pee in the pool. Fake news, 4 liars. No wonder grandpa usedta say "Don't get your feet wet" when he dropped us off at the pool.

"As a man ages, the speed of his urine stream declines."

Google will tell you "The World Record for longest pee is 508 seconds" (almost 8.5 minutes). Fake news again, I just went again, 512 seconds.

Tune in tomorrow when some old wiseass might blog about "6 things you didn't know about earwax", or mebbe, "All the reasons you stink and what to do about them."

Whoo pee.

Love, Victurd (and pee)