Thursday, September 06, 2018

Naked and afraid...........

of my reflection in the mirror. Oh well, you win some, you gain some, hehe.

I've taken in that show a few times.... I know, I know, we males are piggies, and probably true.. it just seems funny to me that a 40 year old dude from Scranton, PA with a wifey and three kids can announce to his wife "Honey, I'll be back in 21 days, I'm going to sleep naked in Belize with a 23 year old hairdresser from Sacramento, love you guys."

"Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked." Warren Buffett

Oh those teen years.. Gym class.. MANDATORY showers. 8th grade. You had guys that were 6'2", 190 lbs, hairy like a chia pet, next to 4' guys weighing 73 lbs, bald allover (except their head) - and that doesn't even begin to address the woes of being ginger. Lord I hope the showers ain't mandatory nowadays, and if they are, I hope there's no dude/dudette with a clipboard checking off names as dudes exit the shower. I hated those times. I'd suggest maybe the teachers should start the day showering together eh?

I really ain't fond of men's locker room nudity either. I see guys, like Bert the insurance agent, prance around visiting like he's got a suit and tie on, and it just don't sit well. I take a gosh darn towel, yank my swim trunks/gym shorts off, and immediately cover myself until I can hike my undies on. And FER SURE I never undress infronta anyone that brings their kids into the locker room. I always go into an individual shower stall to dress/undress, when that happens.

Band camp, long ago, I was maybe 20, I worked in a Sporting Goods store. Among the goodies we sold were swimsuits for both the boy and girl HS swim teams. One day this really good looking blonde - a couple years younger than I - came in to try on, buy a suit. Lo and behold she didn't close the door all the way. The door had a dadgum mirror on it. It was onea those moments where I put one hand over my eyes, and forgive me Father, uh huh, I did separate the fingers a tad to check her out. I am only human for boogety sake.

"My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." Rodney Dangerfield

Nakedness, like farts, sex, poop, etc, is giggle material. And uh huh, mebbe jiggle material.

I ain't really sure how I feel about men being able to take their tops off, and women not. "They're boobs not bombs, chill out" barked one lady's sign at a recent "Free the nipple" march. Can you really believe they have the audacity to have those parades? ("Hey Hank, it starts at 9am, with rush hour traffic we'd better leave by 6:30am, throw them lawnchairs in the trunk and grab the binocs wouldya?")

Nakedness, marriage, up close and personal. Of course there's the "oh baby" part - but even greater, a great deal of honesty and trust can be generated when you are nude with one another.. <- said one Google site.. It's been so damn long, I forget! I do remember it never grew old to me. Oink, I guess.

Accidental nakedness:

It happens. Girls going down slides, top comes off. Hide underwater until it can be readjusted.

Long ago, World's of Fun. That circular ride where you all stand against the wall, the darn thing spins so fast, and then even faster, with the centrifugal force there ain't no way to pull your arms, head, legs, away from the wall. You're forced agin' it. Well, midway thru the ride, little gal, maybe 20, her tank top rode down leaving her boobies exposed for all of us under force to see. I felt sorry for her as for the longest time, no matter how hard she tried to get her hands off the wall, to pull her top up - she couldn't do so until the ride slowed down. There's a nip in the air, mebbe two.

A story from a friend of a friend... three older, 'having fun' married couples were in an elevator.. they were going from the pool (ground floor) to their room on the 6th floor. 'Pete' was standing, centered about where the door opening was, cigar in his mouth - when his wife asked if he could hold her drink too for a moment. He did. Two hands, two drinks. Long about the 3rd floor, elevator stopped, door was getting ready to open to allow a large religious affiliated group headed to dinner on the 4th floor, to get in. As the elevator stopped and a split second before the door opened, said wife pulled down Pete's swim trunks to the ground, and he was left with no hands to use to pull them up as he greeted the crowd waiting to get on. For Pete's sake, they waited for the next elevator.

I can't thinka anymore naked stuff. Tune in tomorrow when the topic might be "how in the heck do you shave that thing?"... or, "Are naked jumping jacks harmful to your health?"

That's it. A short one. AND QUIT LOOKING AT MY HANDS!

Love, Victurd

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