Uh huh, many meanings to that question...
I read the news today oh boy... but, are you positive it was real?
Well.. 'tis kinda a topsy turvy time.. For years, the humongous headlines of the National Enquirer jumped out atya in the line to pay at the Piggly Wiggly, daring, luring you to "Pick Me!" Now, pray tell, they've admitted to covering up dirt, and it's the sensationalism day of the regular ole regular major networks causing us to ask, "are you positive?"
This'n (this blog) is more about "Are you positive?" I looked up the kinda positive I intended, and it took Merriam Webster 7 tries before they got to the one I wanted: "Having a good effect, favorable, a positive role model. Marked by optimism.
Oh hell, watch him now, this Joel Olsteen wanna be... (From an old 'Advice from a Farmer': "The best sermons are lived, not preached.")
NO NO NO, that ain't me, or at least it ain't my intent... honest!
I simply want to go thru stuff, life, and pick out the positive.. Ahm, Victor, ain't that kinda what life should be all about? YES, YES, YES!
"Barn's burnt down. Now I can see the moon." Mizuta Masahide
That... that's what I'm talking about, looking for, digging thru (sometimes shoveling) to find.. Good.
Article today in the KC Star about the KU running back Pooka Williams. (Victor, you're off the deep end today, you 'abhor' KU.. Well, I am a diehard MU fan, but agin', we're looking for positive here, and today it was this guy, and his dad Anthony.) Yesterday he became the first KU freshman running back (ever) to rush for over 100 yards in each of his first two games. When Pooka was 9, there was a lawn mower accident which severed all five toes off his right foot. Per his dad, "They told me he'd never play football again. They told me never. Since then, we've been going forward, supporting him. I'd give my last breath if I have to." Ifn's that ain't positive, I don't recognize it any more I guess. Very very cool, my book anyways.
Yes Victor, and this is becoming to be a book - do tell, what else positive did you see?
I thought you'd never ask. Ever hear of Ronald Claiborne? Sounds familiar.. Well, he's a longtime weekend news anchor on Good Morning America.. The mans exudes positive. I ain't never seen him without smile, professionalism, accuracy. There is an air of calmess when he's on the screen, certain it carries over into his life. He treats people, and the news, positively, as they should be. Today was his last day - he's retiring, and his colleagues gave him a wonderful, fitting, deserved send-off. His comments, not surprisingly, were few - simply gracious. He did say, "long ago, a cameraman told me 'simply do your best and try do good' and I've tried to live by that in my career." You have, you did Ron, thanks!
Ok, good Victor, but carry on, I've got CNN to watch, then I'll follow with Fox's take on the same...
Snickerfrits! OK. First, I read a few sport's page articles.. Of course there ain't enough room on page 1 for the entire article usually, so they key you in on what page to turn to. So, I goes to page 4, and herein is my next thought. Hail to the writers who 'grabya', make you anxiously turn to the continuation page, you anxiously fold the paper to expose the remainder of the article (and you ain't gotta hold the whole damn newspaper, however many inches that it.) The grip. The grip of a good story, be it a newspaper, a novel, yada. To me, that's a positive - and thanks to all the gifted writers that feed us those good stories.
Are you positive about that Victor? If so, gimme an example.
Dick Vermeil. Nifty, nifty article on him this morning. Along the side column of page 1, "continued on page 7", so, I gets to page 7 and "hell yeah" the article take up THE ENTIRE PAGE. (Anudder gripping, well written article!) I fold up the paper so I get page 6 the hell outta the way, and sink into the article. The ole football coach (now 82 and in super tip top shape) began bottling wine in 1999. He's 10 years into it as a full fledged business, and he approaches it with the same energy he used in coaching. Noting Vermeil's infectious enthusiasm, Carl Peterson relates "This is a marvelous sense of purpose for him.. as he travels the country doing wine tastings, there's so much energy there, I analogize it to that he's coaching again." He relates he's probably given away more wine than he's sold.
Vermeil (continued).. He has an instinct for good people. He's hired the two of the top two wine guys in the world, "The Tom Bradys of winemaking." He scurries about in the warehouse, in the fields.."You're getting stronger Marcelino, you're getting stronger" he tells a man who has worked here for 35 years as he hoists 40-lb boxes and hurries to get on to the next. When Vermeil was doing his St. Louis Ram stint, he told backup QB Kurt Warner "There's something about you I like, and I can't wait to find out what it is." This conversation took place one day before starting QB Trent Green was injured.. Warner, against the advice of many, was given the reins by Vermeil. The rest is (Super Bowl) history. "It's all about surrounding yourself with good people and hard working people, and not about being embarrassed to say "I love you." I suggest Mr. Vermeil wonderfully 'reeks' of "are you positive?"
I slip, I fall, I pout, I decorate pity parties occasionally - but I contstantly remind myself to choose the positive things in life.
The "Old Farmer" capsulizes it so much better than I:
"Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense."
Happy sappy day,
Love, Victurd
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Wednesday, September 12, 2018
2087
Ohwell Orwell...
Next April will mark the 50 year anniversary of the manned space drome which made automobiles obsolete, infrastructures less costly, and allowed Uncle Sam to devote boo koo dollars to The Space Force. (Hail to "You're in the Space Force now, you're nowhere near a cow, you'll never get rich, by digging a ditch, you're in the Space Force now.") As we've learned, if you are blonde, or very elderly, or in a foreign country, DromeMobiles have given a whole new meaning to Lost in Space.
The Kansas City Chiefs broke a 117 year dry spell by winning Super Bowl CXX over the Salt Lake Rams 44-37. The Chiefs rolled over the Toronto Chargers and the London Raiders en route to the big game.
In the World Series, the Mexico City Bricklayers lost in 7 games to the Bentonville Royals, marking the first ever Series where a team didn't hit a home run.. the wall proving insurmountable for the Layers.
From New York, Barron Trump has been moved from the Trump Towers to an assisted care facility in Schenectady.. This coincides with plans to demolish the old building in 2088, and plans are in motion - per Trump attorney Spinner Giuliani - adding the family's interests will be used to build a Stripper's Strip Mall on the old site with completion expected by 2089.
Chips implanted into the middle knuckle are set to be the 'new thing' as the 2087 Consumer Electronic Show is set to embark in December. This chip will enable folks to simply scan their knuckle at retail outlets, making the credit/debit card a thing of the past. It's even predicted it will be possible to fist bump and pay McBurgerKing clerks, or even allow one to tip exotic dancers via this fist bump method. Naysayers worry that intentional fist fights will occur whereby hackers will attempt to steal, decode chip information.
Also at the show, Geico announced they have teamed with Sony and will introduce in 2088 the World's Largest Phone Screen - a 24" screen foldable device that breaks down to fit in your pocket. Consumers will be able to purchase with same day drone service from AmaEBay..or, walk in and buy at BestBuyShack.. Generic models may be purchased at HomeLowes or SamCost.
Farmland has announced plans to move their headquarters to Beijing, China - thanks in large part to China's inventing, discovering, mass producing lab-grown beef and pork. Fu Yu Tar'iefs has been announced as the new Farmland CEO.
Uberdrone is taking Tesladrone to court over the all important rights to air-taxi service. It is believed Uberdrone will be victor in this battle, sources citing "Tesladrone doesn't have a leg to stand on."
Ron Thurmond, great great great Grandson of the late Strom Thurmond, on Tuesday introduced a bill in Congress to repeal the 60 year old "One (term) and Done" legislation. "It's either that, or raise our damned minimum wage pay," the red-faced Senator from South Carolina fumed.
In sports, it's a sad day as Edgar McDowell, the oldest living umpire, has passed away. It's been 49 years since the MLB replaced umpires with mechanical robots.. an article from the day that was announced noted Earl Weaver, Ozzie Guillen, Lou Piniella, Billy Martin and Tony Larussa - all - were rolling over in their graves.
Shares of LibBook and ConservativeBook, spinoffs of the now defunct Facebook, hit all time highs on the Dow, as it topped out at 52,240 - thanks in large part to the disappearance of vitriol on either site.
A Gen Z'er has been spotted with a sign at a recent rally to protest the demise of Social Security and Medicare, reading "I blame the damn Millennials, those bastards never worked, contributed anyways."
And at another rally, this one in Washington DC, media icons representing CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Bloomberg, ESPN News, yada, all protesting recent Senate Legislation forcing these companies to subscribe to Snopes.com's sister company Snoops.com.. For years, each network berated, belittled fellow networks as being "Fake News" - lawmakers penned the legislation in hopes of ensuring truthful news on behalf of all Americans.
And that's the truth, per, checkdronelight.blogspot.
By Henry Gibson the VII'th,
Love, Victurd
Next April will mark the 50 year anniversary of the manned space drome which made automobiles obsolete, infrastructures less costly, and allowed Uncle Sam to devote boo koo dollars to The Space Force. (Hail to "You're in the Space Force now, you're nowhere near a cow, you'll never get rich, by digging a ditch, you're in the Space Force now.") As we've learned, if you are blonde, or very elderly, or in a foreign country, DromeMobiles have given a whole new meaning to Lost in Space.
The Kansas City Chiefs broke a 117 year dry spell by winning Super Bowl CXX over the Salt Lake Rams 44-37. The Chiefs rolled over the Toronto Chargers and the London Raiders en route to the big game.
In the World Series, the Mexico City Bricklayers lost in 7 games to the Bentonville Royals, marking the first ever Series where a team didn't hit a home run.. the wall proving insurmountable for the Layers.
From New York, Barron Trump has been moved from the Trump Towers to an assisted care facility in Schenectady.. This coincides with plans to demolish the old building in 2088, and plans are in motion - per Trump attorney Spinner Giuliani - adding the family's interests will be used to build a Stripper's Strip Mall on the old site with completion expected by 2089.
Chips implanted into the middle knuckle are set to be the 'new thing' as the 2087 Consumer Electronic Show is set to embark in December. This chip will enable folks to simply scan their knuckle at retail outlets, making the credit/debit card a thing of the past. It's even predicted it will be possible to fist bump and pay McBurgerKing clerks, or even allow one to tip exotic dancers via this fist bump method. Naysayers worry that intentional fist fights will occur whereby hackers will attempt to steal, decode chip information.
Also at the show, Geico announced they have teamed with Sony and will introduce in 2088 the World's Largest Phone Screen - a 24" screen foldable device that breaks down to fit in your pocket. Consumers will be able to purchase with same day drone service from AmaEBay..or, walk in and buy at BestBuyShack.. Generic models may be purchased at HomeLowes or SamCost.
Farmland has announced plans to move their headquarters to Beijing, China - thanks in large part to China's inventing, discovering, mass producing lab-grown beef and pork. Fu Yu Tar'iefs has been announced as the new Farmland CEO.
Uberdrone is taking Tesladrone to court over the all important rights to air-taxi service. It is believed Uberdrone will be victor in this battle, sources citing "Tesladrone doesn't have a leg to stand on."
Ron Thurmond, great great great Grandson of the late Strom Thurmond, on Tuesday introduced a bill in Congress to repeal the 60 year old "One (term) and Done" legislation. "It's either that, or raise our damned minimum wage pay," the red-faced Senator from South Carolina fumed.
In sports, it's a sad day as Edgar McDowell, the oldest living umpire, has passed away. It's been 49 years since the MLB replaced umpires with mechanical robots.. an article from the day that was announced noted Earl Weaver, Ozzie Guillen, Lou Piniella, Billy Martin and Tony Larussa - all - were rolling over in their graves.
Shares of LibBook and ConservativeBook, spinoffs of the now defunct Facebook, hit all time highs on the Dow, as it topped out at 52,240 - thanks in large part to the disappearance of vitriol on either site.
A Gen Z'er has been spotted with a sign at a recent rally to protest the demise of Social Security and Medicare, reading "I blame the damn Millennials, those bastards never worked, contributed anyways."
And at another rally, this one in Washington DC, media icons representing CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Bloomberg, ESPN News, yada, all protesting recent Senate Legislation forcing these companies to subscribe to Snopes.com's sister company Snoops.com.. For years, each network berated, belittled fellow networks as being "Fake News" - lawmakers penned the legislation in hopes of ensuring truthful news on behalf of all Americans.
And that's the truth, per, checkdronelight.blogspot.
By Henry Gibson the VII'th,
Love, Victurd
Monday, September 10, 2018
Whoo pee.......
I pee a lot. I know, TMI, but it's nature.
Happens as one ages.
"Pee can be a window to your overall health."
When I hear running water, I haveta pee.
When I walk into any store, I haveta pee.
If the door happens to be locked, watch me dance (but don't look too close).
"Cat urine glows under a black light."
The first four holes on the golf course, all lined by houses, of course, make me haveta pee.
Coffee makes me haveta pee.
Beer makes me haveta pee.
Sometimes I haveta pee right after I pee. (repeet, I guess you'd call it.)
"The average adult produces 6.3 cups of pee a day." Victor, you're older, urine a different category.
I won't wear diapers, but then again, depends, ask me in a few years (the Good Lord willing I'm still here.)
I can close my eyes and recite exactly where all the men's bathrooms are in 73 Liberty, Missouri stores. Whoo pee.
When little kids haveta pee, you can see 'em grabbing down there. When that happens to old farts, it's already too late.
"Peeing on a jellyfish sting won't heal it." However, Google added "Pee is good for the skin." Eww.
My ex peed in a coffee can on I-70 once and didn't spill a drop. I was kinda proud. (I have two ex'es, and no I ain't tellin' which.)
"Pee is 95% water."
If you're ever in my car, don't ever drink from the plastic cup under the seat on the passenger side.
Victor, are you really writing a blog about pee. Whoo pee, I guess I am. What's wrong with that? I pee, don't you?
We old men with big bellies, nope, huh uh, that ain't from lacka exercise, too many burger and fries, it's simply pee. It's why we go virtually 24/7, to try to get ridda all that pee in our big belly.
Never use the pickup line "You're an 8" at a bar.
I've peed twice already while writing this. Good news, computer is right infronta bathroom door, I made it. (Curses to you for wondering if I sometimes don't.)
Victor, you realize you've got cousins, nieces, aunts, uncles that are reading this don't you? Uh huh, they pee too.
I always keep a pair of undies and a pair of jeans in my trunk. Has nothing to do with this blog, but it came to mind so typed it.
"Leaking a little pee when you laugh, sneeze, or exercise is known as 'stress urinary incontinence.' " I vote, "what's stressful about laughing?"
Old age, retirement is wonderful. One can write about pee and not givea rats what anyone else thinks. Do rats pee?
"Holding in your pee isn't usually dangerous." Uh huh, go sell that one at the assisted care facility.
Boy dogs hike a leg to pee, girl dogs squat - so why don't they just wait awhile insteada immediately running up to sniff their butt to see if boy or girl?
Google tells me 1 in 5 people pee in the pool. Fake news, 4 liars. No wonder grandpa usedta say "Don't get your feet wet" when he dropped us off at the pool.
"As a man ages, the speed of his urine stream declines."
Google will tell you "The World Record for longest pee is 508 seconds" (almost 8.5 minutes). Fake news again, I just went again, 512 seconds.
Tune in tomorrow when some old wiseass might blog about "6 things you didn't know about earwax", or mebbe, "All the reasons you stink and what to do about them."
Whoo pee.
Love, Victurd (and pee)
Happens as one ages.
"Pee can be a window to your overall health."
When I hear running water, I haveta pee.
When I walk into any store, I haveta pee.
If the door happens to be locked, watch me dance (but don't look too close).
"Cat urine glows under a black light."
The first four holes on the golf course, all lined by houses, of course, make me haveta pee.
Coffee makes me haveta pee.
Beer makes me haveta pee.
Sometimes I haveta pee right after I pee. (repeet, I guess you'd call it.)
"The average adult produces 6.3 cups of pee a day." Victor, you're older, urine a different category.
I won't wear diapers, but then again, depends, ask me in a few years (the Good Lord willing I'm still here.)
I can close my eyes and recite exactly where all the men's bathrooms are in 73 Liberty, Missouri stores. Whoo pee.
When little kids haveta pee, you can see 'em grabbing down there. When that happens to old farts, it's already too late.
"Peeing on a jellyfish sting won't heal it." However, Google added "Pee is good for the skin." Eww.
My ex peed in a coffee can on I-70 once and didn't spill a drop. I was kinda proud. (I have two ex'es, and no I ain't tellin' which.)
"Pee is 95% water."
If you're ever in my car, don't ever drink from the plastic cup under the seat on the passenger side.
Victor, are you really writing a blog about pee. Whoo pee, I guess I am. What's wrong with that? I pee, don't you?
We old men with big bellies, nope, huh uh, that ain't from lacka exercise, too many burger and fries, it's simply pee. It's why we go virtually 24/7, to try to get ridda all that pee in our big belly.
Never use the pickup line "You're an 8" at a bar.
I've peed twice already while writing this. Good news, computer is right infronta bathroom door, I made it. (Curses to you for wondering if I sometimes don't.)
Victor, you realize you've got cousins, nieces, aunts, uncles that are reading this don't you? Uh huh, they pee too.
I always keep a pair of undies and a pair of jeans in my trunk. Has nothing to do with this blog, but it came to mind so typed it.
"Leaking a little pee when you laugh, sneeze, or exercise is known as 'stress urinary incontinence.' " I vote, "what's stressful about laughing?"
Old age, retirement is wonderful. One can write about pee and not givea rats what anyone else thinks. Do rats pee?
"Holding in your pee isn't usually dangerous." Uh huh, go sell that one at the assisted care facility.
Boy dogs hike a leg to pee, girl dogs squat - so why don't they just wait awhile insteada immediately running up to sniff their butt to see if boy or girl?
Google tells me 1 in 5 people pee in the pool. Fake news, 4 liars. No wonder grandpa usedta say "Don't get your feet wet" when he dropped us off at the pool.
"As a man ages, the speed of his urine stream declines."
Google will tell you "The World Record for longest pee is 508 seconds" (almost 8.5 minutes). Fake news again, I just went again, 512 seconds.
Tune in tomorrow when some old wiseass might blog about "6 things you didn't know about earwax", or mebbe, "All the reasons you stink and what to do about them."
Whoo pee.
Love, Victurd (and pee)
Saturday, September 08, 2018
My Generation
People try to put us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Bring the bedpan my tummy did frown...
Just because we get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Make fun'a my walker I'll knockya to the ground...
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
You old geezer, happens when you're old....
I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
If ya ain't got a ranch style house, better get it sold...
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Sugar and spice and all things nice......
Pull up that long metal handle, it'll break up the ice..
Dial Jim Bob's number, and if you need to look,
It's right there in the book.
Why don't you all f-fade away (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Like the white highway lines at the end of the day...
And don't try to dig what we all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
It may sound like jibberish, and with that we're ok..
I'm not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Just pass me the 'H', as in Preparation...
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-g-generation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
We're the Boomers of this damn nation.. (Can'tya tell/smell?)
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Where bling is yarn on a class ring...
It's hot, roll the window down, turn in the wing (ya little snot)..
Why don't you all f-fade away (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Who are all these people and why don't they work night or day?
And don't try to d-dig what we all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Dig? Cool. Groovy. Bummer. Hip. Burn rubber. Is that all ok?
I'm not trying to cause a b-big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
WOW assisted care's expensive, dadgum inflation..
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-generation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Poems and aging,you get to frustration...
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Jonesy stole my damn spindle, now I can't play 45's..
If the shingles don't get us, safe bet it'll be hives..
Back in our day, the Kuku, Dairy Queen, Sammy's, ah, the spots around town...
Now all the spots - well... they're just brown.
People try to put us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Make love not war, we hate that noun..
Just because we g-g-get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
It WASN'T me, I didn't make that sound.. (at least, if I did, I couldn't hear it)..
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Bitchin' about the Government, the weather, and the ballcards we sold (or, affixed to our bike spoke, like the ONE MILLION DOLLAR Mantle rookie card)
Yeah, I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Too late, we're there, or that I'm told.....
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Who? Who sang that? Hell I can't remember nuttin' nowadays.....
Love, Victurd
Bring the bedpan my tummy did frown...
Just because we get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Make fun'a my walker I'll knockya to the ground...
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
You old geezer, happens when you're old....
I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
If ya ain't got a ranch style house, better get it sold...
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Sugar and spice and all things nice......
Pull up that long metal handle, it'll break up the ice..
Dial Jim Bob's number, and if you need to look,
It's right there in the book.
Why don't you all f-fade away (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Like the white highway lines at the end of the day...
And don't try to dig what we all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
It may sound like jibberish, and with that we're ok..
I'm not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Just pass me the 'H', as in Preparation...
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-g-generation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
We're the Boomers of this damn nation.. (Can'tya tell/smell?)
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Where bling is yarn on a class ring...
It's hot, roll the window down, turn in the wing (ya little snot)..
Why don't you all f-fade away (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Who are all these people and why don't they work night or day?
And don't try to d-dig what we all s-s-say (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Dig? Cool. Groovy. Bummer. Hip. Burn rubber. Is that all ok?
I'm not trying to cause a b-big s-s-sensation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
WOW assisted care's expensive, dadgum inflation..
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-generation (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Poems and aging,you get to frustration...
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Jonesy stole my damn spindle, now I can't play 45's..
If the shingles don't get us, safe bet it'll be hives..
Back in our day, the Kuku, Dairy Queen, Sammy's, ah, the spots around town...
Now all the spots - well... they're just brown.
People try to put us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Make love not war, we hate that noun..
Just because we g-g-get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
It WASN'T me, I didn't make that sound.. (at least, if I did, I couldn't hear it)..
Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Bitchin' about the Government, the weather, and the ballcards we sold (or, affixed to our bike spoke, like the ONE MILLION DOLLAR Mantle rookie card)
Yeah, I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)
Too late, we're there, or that I'm told.....
This is my generation
This is my generation, baby
Who? Who sang that? Hell I can't remember nuttin' nowadays.....
Love, Victurd
Thursday, September 06, 2018
Naked and afraid...........
of my reflection in the mirror. Oh well, you win some, you gain some, hehe.
I've taken in that show a few times.... I know, I know, we males are piggies, and probably true.. it just seems funny to me that a 40 year old dude from Scranton, PA with a wifey and three kids can announce to his wife "Honey, I'll be back in 21 days, I'm going to sleep naked in Belize with a 23 year old hairdresser from Sacramento, love you guys."
"Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked." Warren Buffett
Oh those teen years.. Gym class.. MANDATORY showers. 8th grade. You had guys that were 6'2", 190 lbs, hairy like a chia pet, next to 4' guys weighing 73 lbs, bald allover (except their head) - and that doesn't even begin to address the woes of being ginger. Lord I hope the showers ain't mandatory nowadays, and if they are, I hope there's no dude/dudette with a clipboard checking off names as dudes exit the shower. I hated those times. I'd suggest maybe the teachers should start the day showering together eh?
I really ain't fond of men's locker room nudity either. I see guys, like Bert the insurance agent, prance around visiting like he's got a suit and tie on, and it just don't sit well. I take a gosh darn towel, yank my swim trunks/gym shorts off, and immediately cover myself until I can hike my undies on. And FER SURE I never undress infronta anyone that brings their kids into the locker room. I always go into an individual shower stall to dress/undress, when that happens.
Band camp, long ago, I was maybe 20, I worked in a Sporting Goods store. Among the goodies we sold were swimsuits for both the boy and girl HS swim teams. One day this really good looking blonde - a couple years younger than I - came in to try on, buy a suit. Lo and behold she didn't close the door all the way. The door had a dadgum mirror on it. It was onea those moments where I put one hand over my eyes, and forgive me Father, uh huh, I did separate the fingers a tad to check her out. I am only human for boogety sake.
"My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." Rodney Dangerfield
Nakedness, like farts, sex, poop, etc, is giggle material. And uh huh, mebbe jiggle material.
I ain't really sure how I feel about men being able to take their tops off, and women not. "They're boobs not bombs, chill out" barked one lady's sign at a recent "Free the nipple" march. Can you really believe they have the audacity to have those parades? ("Hey Hank, it starts at 9am, with rush hour traffic we'd better leave by 6:30am, throw them lawnchairs in the trunk and grab the binocs wouldya?")
Nakedness, marriage, up close and personal. Of course there's the "oh baby" part - but even greater, a great deal of honesty and trust can be generated when you are nude with one another.. <- said one Google site.. It's been so damn long, I forget! I do remember it never grew old to me. Oink, I guess.
Accidental nakedness:
It happens. Girls going down slides, top comes off. Hide underwater until it can be readjusted.
Long ago, World's of Fun. That circular ride where you all stand against the wall, the darn thing spins so fast, and then even faster, with the centrifugal force there ain't no way to pull your arms, head, legs, away from the wall. You're forced agin' it. Well, midway thru the ride, little gal, maybe 20, her tank top rode down leaving her boobies exposed for all of us under force to see. I felt sorry for her as for the longest time, no matter how hard she tried to get her hands off the wall, to pull her top up - she couldn't do so until the ride slowed down. There's a nip in the air, mebbe two.
A story from a friend of a friend... three older, 'having fun' married couples were in an elevator.. they were going from the pool (ground floor) to their room on the 6th floor. 'Pete' was standing, centered about where the door opening was, cigar in his mouth - when his wife asked if he could hold her drink too for a moment. He did. Two hands, two drinks. Long about the 3rd floor, elevator stopped, door was getting ready to open to allow a large religious affiliated group headed to dinner on the 4th floor, to get in. As the elevator stopped and a split second before the door opened, said wife pulled down Pete's swim trunks to the ground, and he was left with no hands to use to pull them up as he greeted the crowd waiting to get on. For Pete's sake, they waited for the next elevator.
I can't thinka anymore naked stuff. Tune in tomorrow when the topic might be "how in the heck do you shave that thing?"... or, "Are naked jumping jacks harmful to your health?"
That's it. A short one. AND QUIT LOOKING AT MY HANDS!
Love, Victurd
I've taken in that show a few times.... I know, I know, we males are piggies, and probably true.. it just seems funny to me that a 40 year old dude from Scranton, PA with a wifey and three kids can announce to his wife "Honey, I'll be back in 21 days, I'm going to sleep naked in Belize with a 23 year old hairdresser from Sacramento, love you guys."
"Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked." Warren Buffett
Oh those teen years.. Gym class.. MANDATORY showers. 8th grade. You had guys that were 6'2", 190 lbs, hairy like a chia pet, next to 4' guys weighing 73 lbs, bald allover (except their head) - and that doesn't even begin to address the woes of being ginger. Lord I hope the showers ain't mandatory nowadays, and if they are, I hope there's no dude/dudette with a clipboard checking off names as dudes exit the shower. I hated those times. I'd suggest maybe the teachers should start the day showering together eh?
I really ain't fond of men's locker room nudity either. I see guys, like Bert the insurance agent, prance around visiting like he's got a suit and tie on, and it just don't sit well. I take a gosh darn towel, yank my swim trunks/gym shorts off, and immediately cover myself until I can hike my undies on. And FER SURE I never undress infronta anyone that brings their kids into the locker room. I always go into an individual shower stall to dress/undress, when that happens.
Band camp, long ago, I was maybe 20, I worked in a Sporting Goods store. Among the goodies we sold were swimsuits for both the boy and girl HS swim teams. One day this really good looking blonde - a couple years younger than I - came in to try on, buy a suit. Lo and behold she didn't close the door all the way. The door had a dadgum mirror on it. It was onea those moments where I put one hand over my eyes, and forgive me Father, uh huh, I did separate the fingers a tad to check her out. I am only human for boogety sake.
"My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light." Rodney Dangerfield
Nakedness, like farts, sex, poop, etc, is giggle material. And uh huh, mebbe jiggle material.
I ain't really sure how I feel about men being able to take their tops off, and women not. "They're boobs not bombs, chill out" barked one lady's sign at a recent "Free the nipple" march. Can you really believe they have the audacity to have those parades? ("Hey Hank, it starts at 9am, with rush hour traffic we'd better leave by 6:30am, throw them lawnchairs in the trunk and grab the binocs wouldya?")
Nakedness, marriage, up close and personal. Of course there's the "oh baby" part - but even greater, a great deal of honesty and trust can be generated when you are nude with one another.. <- said one Google site.. It's been so damn long, I forget! I do remember it never grew old to me. Oink, I guess.
Accidental nakedness:
It happens. Girls going down slides, top comes off. Hide underwater until it can be readjusted.
Long ago, World's of Fun. That circular ride where you all stand against the wall, the darn thing spins so fast, and then even faster, with the centrifugal force there ain't no way to pull your arms, head, legs, away from the wall. You're forced agin' it. Well, midway thru the ride, little gal, maybe 20, her tank top rode down leaving her boobies exposed for all of us under force to see. I felt sorry for her as for the longest time, no matter how hard she tried to get her hands off the wall, to pull her top up - she couldn't do so until the ride slowed down. There's a nip in the air, mebbe two.
A story from a friend of a friend... three older, 'having fun' married couples were in an elevator.. they were going from the pool (ground floor) to their room on the 6th floor. 'Pete' was standing, centered about where the door opening was, cigar in his mouth - when his wife asked if he could hold her drink too for a moment. He did. Two hands, two drinks. Long about the 3rd floor, elevator stopped, door was getting ready to open to allow a large religious affiliated group headed to dinner on the 4th floor, to get in. As the elevator stopped and a split second before the door opened, said wife pulled down Pete's swim trunks to the ground, and he was left with no hands to use to pull them up as he greeted the crowd waiting to get on. For Pete's sake, they waited for the next elevator.
I can't thinka anymore naked stuff. Tune in tomorrow when the topic might be "how in the heck do you shave that thing?"... or, "Are naked jumping jacks harmful to your health?"
That's it. A short one. AND QUIT LOOKING AT MY HANDS!
Love, Victurd
Wednesday, September 05, 2018
Hitch in the getalong...........
I did no snooping on Snopes (holy crap, seems ya gotta do that with every damn thing nowadays).. but, one site indicates this saying was derived from the Old West (the unorganized territories west of the Mississipi River from 1803 to 1890) and especially the cowboy cattle trail of rural Texas. Hitch, meaning jerking movement.. getalong obviously from get along..
I miss Lorenzo Cain. For non-MLB types, he was our centerfielder in Kansas City (signed by Milwaukee this year)- and it was said "two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water, the other third by Lorenzo Cain." Victor, you're weird, what made you think of that, enter it here? Because, me thinks "hitch in the getalong" also covers a wide, wide range.
I ain't written due to a hitch in the getalong, personal junk, no need to share, smudge, air laundry - it's just that I ain't had the capacity to write, or at least attempt humor in awhile. A hitch in my getalong. How's the song go? "It's my (pity) party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to, you would cry too if it happened to you." Bassackwards tells me "hot damn Victor, that's when you need it (humor) the most" - and mebbe - no PROBABLY, that's true.
Another song, done by Kansas might sing to us "Carry on my wayward son for there'll be peace when you are done." OK, this has turned to "about me" and that is far, far from my intent. We can be alone, but we never really are alone.
We see 'hitch in the getalong' every day... WallyWorld, gait, pace outta whack - interrupted physically, afflicted, maybe even mentally - and it's sad to see. Then again, ya also can see the combined 'hitch in the getalong' adorned with a happy smile and it makes ya think, "damn, far out." I'm a piddly ass turd for wallowing in self pity, schmuck - look at this guy (or gal) - how horrible would it be to have to walk with that obstructed gait, getalong with that snail pace, BUT, then again - YES, they're happy as can be? Hell, the damn 'greeter' was in a wheelchair, but did you catch that wonderful smile on her face?
The Kansas City Chiefs have a coach who lost his arm long ago. There was a wonderful article recently about him.. I kinda remember it was a physical condition - he'd lost all feeling/use of his arm - so after long thought "let's amputate" (in his early teens I believe.)... Not long after, he was with siblings, friends, and his mom in the backyard.. the siblings, friends hopped over a fence - leaving him and his mom on this side... as they approached the fence, he looked at her as if to say "can you help?"... She didn't. Wouldn't. When I read that, I thought it was incredibly cruel - but I was wrong. He managed to get over the fence without the aid of his mother - and her lesson was "you are going to face challenges your entire lifetime, and you will have to find a way to get past, through, over them." I'd say he's done pretty darn well at that.
Hitch can be physical...mental.. heck, sometimes even financial (I recently studied my checking account, and there's more days than dollars until the wonderful Social Security Check is dropped into my account.) Oh well, soon Amazon will deliver that new golf driver I've wanted, but it's cool - I happen to love peanut butter and crackers.
Victor, is there a point, a purpose to this crap? You know me, it's always "I write to me, for me, hitchhikers welcome", thus the name of the blog (checkenginelight).. or, hitch in the getalong. We ALL have these moments, times in our life. Seems one just has to figure a way to get over the damn fence, myself included.
As an aside - and speakin' o' check engine light, my present vehicle of transport, every 200 miles or so, has a warning light come on "Reduced Engine Power" and it's accompanied by reduced engine power. Cruise control won't work.. ya gotta damn near stand up on the gas pedal.. and at a stoplight, the snail pace to drive on lends one to beg "PLEASE don't rear-end me." After awhile, usually the next time I start the car, all is good, and it's back to pep-in-the-step. While in this reduced engine power stage, I fret, cuss (not the real bad ones, you know, stuff like damnit, hell's bells, that kind).. I worry.. I get my exercise tensing every dadgum muscle there is - but thus far, I've always made it.
Was a wonderful YouTube video recently about the fact we place more emphasis on our physical well being than we do on our emotional well being. We brush daily, bathe, try to pick good foods, tend to bruises, cuts, yada.. yet, we never 'doctor' our emotional well being, fretting/denying/avoiding/poo-poo'ing things like failure, rejection, loneliness - so, we 'choose' to wallow in them instead, when there are in fact methods, means to assist. God, Google, friends, professional help, sometimes even simple awareness of looking around, seeing, then thinking, "damn, maybe I don't have it so bad."
Carry on wayward son, daughter - there'll be peace when you are done. That's all. That's the message (to me).. mebbe you, if it fits. We all have hitch in the getalong times - some, carry physical inflictions forever.. some, periodically mental, emotional inflictions.. we simply gotta figure how to get over the fence.. help is out there, and mosta the time it seemingly starts in the mirror (or, I've found that can be true.) You know, like getting over the hump.
Speakinowhich, Happy Hump Day,
Love, Victurd
I miss Lorenzo Cain. For non-MLB types, he was our centerfielder in Kansas City (signed by Milwaukee this year)- and it was said "two-thirds of the Earth is covered by water, the other third by Lorenzo Cain." Victor, you're weird, what made you think of that, enter it here? Because, me thinks "hitch in the getalong" also covers a wide, wide range.
I ain't written due to a hitch in the getalong, personal junk, no need to share, smudge, air laundry - it's just that I ain't had the capacity to write, or at least attempt humor in awhile. A hitch in my getalong. How's the song go? "It's my (pity) party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to, you would cry too if it happened to you." Bassackwards tells me "hot damn Victor, that's when you need it (humor) the most" - and mebbe - no PROBABLY, that's true.
Another song, done by Kansas might sing to us "Carry on my wayward son for there'll be peace when you are done." OK, this has turned to "about me" and that is far, far from my intent. We can be alone, but we never really are alone.
We see 'hitch in the getalong' every day... WallyWorld, gait, pace outta whack - interrupted physically, afflicted, maybe even mentally - and it's sad to see. Then again, ya also can see the combined 'hitch in the getalong' adorned with a happy smile and it makes ya think, "damn, far out." I'm a piddly ass turd for wallowing in self pity, schmuck - look at this guy (or gal) - how horrible would it be to have to walk with that obstructed gait, getalong with that snail pace, BUT, then again - YES, they're happy as can be? Hell, the damn 'greeter' was in a wheelchair, but did you catch that wonderful smile on her face?
The Kansas City Chiefs have a coach who lost his arm long ago. There was a wonderful article recently about him.. I kinda remember it was a physical condition - he'd lost all feeling/use of his arm - so after long thought "let's amputate" (in his early teens I believe.)... Not long after, he was with siblings, friends, and his mom in the backyard.. the siblings, friends hopped over a fence - leaving him and his mom on this side... as they approached the fence, he looked at her as if to say "can you help?"... She didn't. Wouldn't. When I read that, I thought it was incredibly cruel - but I was wrong. He managed to get over the fence without the aid of his mother - and her lesson was "you are going to face challenges your entire lifetime, and you will have to find a way to get past, through, over them." I'd say he's done pretty darn well at that.
Hitch can be physical...mental.. heck, sometimes even financial (I recently studied my checking account, and there's more days than dollars until the wonderful Social Security Check is dropped into my account.) Oh well, soon Amazon will deliver that new golf driver I've wanted, but it's cool - I happen to love peanut butter and crackers.
Victor, is there a point, a purpose to this crap? You know me, it's always "I write to me, for me, hitchhikers welcome", thus the name of the blog (checkenginelight).. or, hitch in the getalong. We ALL have these moments, times in our life. Seems one just has to figure a way to get over the damn fence, myself included.
As an aside - and speakin' o' check engine light, my present vehicle of transport, every 200 miles or so, has a warning light come on "Reduced Engine Power" and it's accompanied by reduced engine power. Cruise control won't work.. ya gotta damn near stand up on the gas pedal.. and at a stoplight, the snail pace to drive on lends one to beg "PLEASE don't rear-end me." After awhile, usually the next time I start the car, all is good, and it's back to pep-in-the-step. While in this reduced engine power stage, I fret, cuss (not the real bad ones, you know, stuff like damnit, hell's bells, that kind).. I worry.. I get my exercise tensing every dadgum muscle there is - but thus far, I've always made it.
Was a wonderful YouTube video recently about the fact we place more emphasis on our physical well being than we do on our emotional well being. We brush daily, bathe, try to pick good foods, tend to bruises, cuts, yada.. yet, we never 'doctor' our emotional well being, fretting/denying/avoiding/poo-poo'ing things like failure, rejection, loneliness - so, we 'choose' to wallow in them instead, when there are in fact methods, means to assist. God, Google, friends, professional help, sometimes even simple awareness of looking around, seeing, then thinking, "damn, maybe I don't have it so bad."
Carry on wayward son, daughter - there'll be peace when you are done. That's all. That's the message (to me).. mebbe you, if it fits. We all have hitch in the getalong times - some, carry physical inflictions forever.. some, periodically mental, emotional inflictions.. we simply gotta figure how to get over the fence.. help is out there, and mosta the time it seemingly starts in the mirror (or, I've found that can be true.) You know, like getting over the hump.
Speakinowhich, Happy Hump Day,
Love, Victurd
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