Final.

Finality. Final is all of the above, or, actually all to this side --> and/or down there: Camouflage, brightness, darkness.

The coffin clicking. Breaking the tape in track and field. Time to switch CD's. A mortgage burning. Breath. Breakup. A call from the HR dude, "ahm, can you come into my office please?" Uh oh. I really enjoy completely avoiding run of the mill. You know, "Why?"... "Why not?"

Band camp, last one, ha. Once I worked for a fine, fine company. I think managers hated/loved me. I think I did pretty decent work, contributed loyally to the bottom line - but, my smartassedness (usually winged at a manager who thinks they are beyond reproach) threatens my finality at the workplace. So, when I worked at that place, I sent an email to three managers about an IT suggestion that would "streamline" (their key word, not mine) our process. I sent it to three, and not IT, so they could relate if they felt the same need for this change. I have done this time and again because systems need improvement, so my brain (and mouth and keyboard) turn to "Why not?"

I'm thinking it was my 12th suggestion for the year, and one of the beyond reproach's replied to all "When's he retire?" Ha! This person is a really good, smart person, but belittlement of others is a common thing. A few band camps ago, this person had been on a company outing, with spouse... I'm thinking maybe drinks flowed aplenty as in the middle of the night, said spouse fell off the second floor balcony of their hotel. A scare for sure, but thankfully minor scrapes and bruises only.

Undaunted,and back to the email regarding the IT issue, I replied to all (Except beyond reproach), added the IT manager and started the email with something like "I think he/she loves me but I wish he/she was on the second floor of a Marriott somewhere." YOU DIDN'T? Don't you know me by now? Of course I wrote it.

So, as I awaited my phone call from the HR dude for my finality, the call never came. IT change/suggestion happened, I won, and it's December 29 BTW.

The final quarter. The final Nascar lap. "No outs to go!" Being a father (finally) at the ripe age of 32, hearing your mom (the grandma) say "FINALLY!" Final. A test when you are 20 where you drink 42 cups of coffee the night before and walk in as a zombie to take the test.

Finally, no training wheels. A Diploma. Down to your last dollar.

Band camp, part 2. I was down to my last dollar, but me being me, I had no idea of that. "Dad, can I use your card to rent a Redbox movie?". "Sure son, here." So, one of us, I truly forget which, forgot to return the damn movie until a week later. Happened online to check my bank account. Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, kaboom (that's 7 of em) overdrafts at $40 a pop. HA. My final dollar ended up being $7 in rentals and $280 in overdraft fees. The final time that happened.

Who knows, when one awakens, the final day will be. The final kiss. The final "I love you". The final (no pun intended) breathtaking view.

So, I guess the final message is this: Appreciate every moment, day, second. Inbetweengst, stir up a little shit. Monitor your bank account. Kiss often. Say "I love you" a lot. Take in the views. And - always get a 1st floor hotel room.

Love, Victurd

Life, sports, lessons

I don't like KU. KU people don't like MU. I didn't like Mark Mangino - he was good.

I've now, in the past 2-3 years, read 2 articles by Vahe Gregorian on Mangino and (MU buddies close your ears)I really like what he says, his philosophies.

I've recently been thru some crap - yes, one was a separation of a relationship, another was seeing my "liability only" $4200 van (with $650 in recent repairs) go up in smoke, literally totaled. I have absolutely no right to be bitter, but I was, and I'm sorry for that - for I certainly contributed.

Oh well.

Mangino was a very successful football coach at KU and he was forced out of his job in 2009.

Bitter?

"My feeling had been that when I left, I didn't like the way it happened," he said. "But my parents raised us that there's no use in life carrying grudges or being bitter. That will wear you out. I'm not saying it didn't hurt,. I put my heart and soul into it. But I put it behind me."

Damnit I liked that and I feel stupid/sheepish for moments of "poor poor pitiful me."

Shortly after being let go at KU his wife was diagnosed with cancer. It was really a blessing he got to spend so much time with her then. He even shaved his head in sympathy for her lost hair, and they joked about how bad he looked. She now cancer free and has a 4% chance of breast cancer returning. Good doctors, good medicine, and a pretty decent "coach."

He was an assistant coach for a few years but he was out of coaching when his mother fell ill. He got to spend oodles of time with her, his siblings/family until her recent passing.

Copying Vahe, sorry "And he knows he wouldn't have been able to do it if he were still a head coach."

"In a lot of ways, I'm lucky."

KU, this year, invited him back as they are putting the 2007 team in the "Ring of honor."

"I'm going back with a smile on my face," he said. "Life's too short to be bitter."

Nice Mark. See? Who said sports doesn't teach?

Love, Victurd

Of iPads and Smart phones, app app, everywhere an app...

Nuttin' personal Gen X and Gen Y'ers.. this Baby Boomer is really glad, no, let's change that to hella glad I ain't raising kids nowadays.

"When should we buy 'em their first phone." "The heck you mean? Our one year old infant has had a toy one since he could hold his head up and the 4 year old has your old one." One friend claims her child's first word was not "Mum" or "Dad" but "iPad"....

Buddy'o mine was texting, his 6 year old granddaughter grabbed the phone from him, turned it to "Landscape orientation" (ahm the other way... where the width is larger) and added "No, do it like this grandpa!" Voilà! A larger keyboard magically appeared.

The Guardian tells us "The researchers warned that using a tablet or smartphone to divert a child’s attention could be detrimental to “their social-emotional development”.

“If these devices become the predominant method to calm and distract young children, will they be able to develop their own internal mechanisms of self-regulation?” the scientists asked."


Psychology Today adds (regarding kids/electronic devices) "That’s not always a bad thing: Educational apps and TV shows are great ways for children to sharpen their developing brains and hone their communication skills—not to mention the break these gadgets provide harried parents. But tread carefully: A number of troubling studies connect delayed cognitive development in kids with extended exposure to electronic media. The US Department of Health and Human Services estimates that American children spend a whopping seven hours a day in front of electronic media. Other statistics reveal that kids as young as two regularly play iPad games and have playroom toys that involve touch screens."

We piggos probably don't set a very good example.. Some studies estimate that an average person checks their screen 150 times a day.

To be frank, yeah, I reckon I do care about this, my grandkids - but I'm no longer on the decision-making end - and actually, I'm kind of glad about that. Sure I can 'suggest'.. warn if I have to.. but again (Victor, why do you do that? "but again".. Remember how much you HATED hearing "like I said"?) Uh huh, I do. But again, it's like my buddy Fernando Papi I usedta work with said "It not my yob man."

I admire families that monitor, have time constraints.. MIX IN OTHER FUN STUFF THAT AIN'T ELECTRONIC. I was just gonna make a post, but it led into a blog, sorry, kinda.

My buddy, an old grandfather-aged fart like me, was telling me about his girlfriend's 6 and 9 year old g-kids.. she had taken them into the basement.. Opened up two HUGE containers of Tinker Toys. The 9 looked at the 6 bewildered. She returned the bewildered back at him. Granny says "Oh come on, give 'em a chance... your DAD played with these when he was your age."

So, they were to hand the two kiddos off to the other seta grandparents at 2pm. 1:50pm "It's time to clean up, break 'em down, put 'em away." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They were having so much fun, and they didn't wanna undo the creativity they'd done. She had to bribe 'em with "Ok, you can each pick one favorite thing you built, and we won't unassemble it. Then, we'll break apart all the other beauties you created, put them in this container and you can take 'em to Granny (so and so's) now.. "YAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!"

Brings a tear to my eye. Not really, but I thought it was fun, worth sharing. Bottom-line, in this world where we all so heavily lean on social media, electronics, streaming, binging, talking into, texting, yada... don't forget to tinker around occasionally.

Love, Victurd.

Come fly away....

Ya ever wanna just fly away? No, I don't mean Cancun, Tahiti or Venice... I mean to a better time, a better place...

Fly back to heed those that fell ill of habits perhaps needing change...

Tell those that wont/don't go to the doctor "Go to the damn doctor!"

Heed those that had incidents "DON'T GO!!"

Backpeddle in flight, own up to "man I've long regretted what I did, said.. that short interaction has led to hours upon end of worry, remorse, regret. Please know I'm very sorry."

Fly back and dump your life savings in the new stock, Amazon.

Fly back and go (early) into the field you discovered (late) that you really love.

To a place and time where all your dogs and cats emerge as puppies and kittens.

Fly to 'then' and impound anyone who tries to 'own/buy/sell' a person.

Fly back, identify the ones who will one day harm - get them help.

Ok, maybe also fly and take a baby trip to Cancun, Tahiti or Venice.

Fly back and tell those friends that you now can't tell, "man I really loved you."

Selfishly, fly back to pre-election, pre-selection and tell BOTH sides "NO NO NO...whatinthell are you thinking?"

Fly back to a love gone South to relate "let's go North...remember when our eyes met...up close?"

Of course we can't fly back. We can't undo wrongs. Sadly, we can't go back and heal, warn.

We do however, have today, now, this minute. We can simply do our part to love, nurture, praise.

Regrets? Sure, we've all got em, but, the weather is pretty darn nice right now - let's soar.

Come fly away.

Love, Victurd

Hurry up and wait.......

I'm not a fan of waiting. They say, for every minute you wait, if feels like three.

Dr's offices have "Waiting Room"s.... ER... doesn't make sense when you're sicky, you need help,
ya gotta wait.

Wait it out. Wait a minute.

VICTOR YOU'VE TOLD THIS ONE BEFORE! Wait a sec dog breath, it's my blog, I'll do whateverthehell I wanna.Buddy o' mine. When he, his lovely go out to eat, they sign in as "last name Starving"..I wonder if it shortens the wait?

Wait for it.

All good things are worth waiting for and fighting for.

I plagiarize all the time but hey, what the heck, you too can Google and write/copy/paste whatever you want too, huh...

The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. And, the more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination. All good things are worth waiting for and fighting for.

I reckon.

I ain't sure who C. JoyBell C is, but she wrote this one, and in spite of having to offer apologies to my relatives, (it's got an F bomb in it) I loved it. So be prepared (as in "wait for it") ha:

“When I was little and running on the race track at school, I always stopped and waited for all the other kids so we could run together even though I knew (and everybody else knew) that I could run much faster than all of them! I pretended to read slowly so I could "wait" for everyone else who couldn't read as fast as I could! When my friends were short I pretended that I was short too and if my friend was sad I pretended to be unhappy. I could go on and on about all the ways I have limited myself, my whole life, by "waiting" for people. And the only thing that I've ever received in return is people thinking that they are faster than me, people thinking that they can make me feel bad about myself just because I let them and people thinking that I have to do whatever they say I should do. My mother used to teach me "Cinderella is a perfect example to be" but I have learned that Cinderella can go fuck herself, I'm not waiting for anybody, anymore! I'm going to run as fast as I can, fly as high as I can, I am going to soar and if you want you can come with me! But I'm not waiting for you anymore.”

Wait, I liked that.

Lemony Snicket, is lemony really your first name? I kinda like what you said though in The Ersatz Elevator:

“Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.”

Senor' Edward Verrall Lucas comes with:

"I have notice that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."

Reckon that's true. Gotta buddy who is (minimum) 15 minutes late any time we go somewhere, so, of course, if we have a tee time at 4pm, we tell him 3:45. Works... for awhile.. then he figures it out. So.... we wait. Usually too, he's jollier. Go figure.

Waiting breeds all kinds of things. I'm a people watcher, but also a "line watcher." Isn't it weird the variety of behaviors, attitudes in wait? I've seen the dudes/dudettes at Mickey D's whose patience goes thin after they order, so they put it in reverse for a couple feet, wheels to the right, pull out hastily as if to say "screw you". They no likey waiting.

License bureau. Ug. Parrish the thought. Oops, I mean perish the thought. I kinda enjoyed the last time I went to the license bureau. Ya check in, sha-zam, there's your name up on the board, and it tells you have many more minutes ya gotta wait. Mine was 1 hour, 37 minutes - but, some waiters didn't wait, so I got in and outta there in 43 minutes. (Played Sudoku while waiting.)

Train. Nuttin' you can do. Ya gotta stop. One time, no, not band camp - one time, not knowing the gosh darn back way into Knuckleheads, we got stopped at the train tracks. Waiting. And waiting. It lasted, honest, 30 minutes. Whilst we were in wait, this chick I was with (said lovingly) managed to place her driver's license, her credit card and a couple of $20's down her bra. (She knew that would keep me from her buckaroos, ha.. just wait!).. Anyways, whilst in wait, we thought "hey, what a great idea!.. Let's invent a bra with a pocket!" YEAH, FABULOUS IDEA!.. so... wait a minute, later that night we Googled the idea and hell, there were 73 manufacturers of bras with pockets. Damn. We waited too long. What boobs we were. Hey, can I have/take $20. Ha!

I'm not good in wait. I remember my Junior year in high school on the basketball team, sitting, waiting, sitting, waiting. My buddies in wait with me (Ralph and Doug) also tired of waiting - but - making light of it, we grabbed some colored tape and labeled the places where our butts awaited either a blow out, an injury, or, maybe a coach who felt guilt in us waiting so damn long. Anyways, we put a "V" in tape, an "R" in tape and a "D" in tape. The VRD guys. Ain't it Fleetwood that says "we make loving fun" (or you make loving fun, hell I don't remember).. our take was,
"we make waiting fun." Ya gotta take a positive from it, I mean howinthehell are you supposed to checkout the cheerleaders, pom pon gals if you're running up and down the GD (gosh darn) court?

Another I've told before: If you put your wife and your dog in the trunk of a car, which one will be the happiest when you open the trunk?

I know, this is like a bad book, you can't wait for it to be done. Sorry.

A bit ago, I went to get my passport. Post office, Grandview MO. I entered as 7th in line.. on my lunch hour.. realized, when I was finally 3rd in line, I'd forgotten a needed paper. Damnit darnit. Drove back to office, grabbed the piece of paper, back to PO, crap, 9th in line. My lunch hour, by that time, was kaput. FINALLY, I am next in line. I puffed my chest out like a bird does with their plumage and thought "I am SOMEBODY!"..

So, one, count 'em, one person doing Passports (the others handing out stamps, weighing crap, charging, collecting).. One person doing Passports. MY TURN, YIPPEEEEEE! Up I go, and as I go up goes her sign, "at lunch." Remembering that I'm old, remembering that it's the Government, I kinda took pride in spouting "HEY, how long will you be?".. Our eyes met, poof, she was gone.

Some of the folks who were old like me, behind me in line, gave up. Being rightfully old, a couple of them said mean things to the postal clerks who had absolutely nothing to do with the staffing of the Passport position, but hey, reckon guilt by association huh? Waiting does strange things to folks.

Finally, one hour and 23 minutes into my lunch 'hour'... a lady, who happened to be deaf, was at the Passport position. Damnit Victor, you didn't get upset did you? It was I. I chopped down the cherry tree. Forgive me Father for I have sinned (internally, I'm very sorry)..What an idiot I can be. She had a chalkboard, and also the most fabulous smile I'd ever seen.. I got to see it maybe 12 times during our very quick application/acceptance of the passport thingy. I cursed at myself the next time I saw a mirror for getting upset. Sometimes waiting turns out beautifully.

Sometimes it doesn't. Who knows.

One thing I love, whilst waiting, visiting, talking - is asking couples "how did you meet?" Best one I think I heard was a dude who said "I saw her and I knew.. so I asked, would you go out with me if I went up on stage where the band is and did a backflip?" Figuring he really wouldn't, she said "sure." He did, and it was the beginning of wonder for them both. He flipped for her I guess. I wonder if anyone ever met their loved one waiting, waiting in line?

Even a snail will eventually reach his destination.

Love, Henry Gibson, er wait, I mean Victurd.

Don't quit your day job......

Advice. There's "vic" in it. Sometimes, we seek it. Sometimes, it's offered unwanted. Golf with another couple.. ya sposedta tee the ball up one-half of an inch above your driver.. Someone mentioned that to the lady that had just worm-burned one 30 yards or so down the fairway.."NO!".. (Hubby discretely walks over, "she doesn't really want any advice, I'm sorry.") All good.

Slow down, ya move to fast, got to make the morning last.

Advice to take heed: "If you can't keep up, we'll get someone in here who can." Ahm, Ok, thanks (and they ask me why I want to retire.) More succinctly, I was once wet behind the ears (I know, long time ago right?).. I flung some unwanted advice to the President of a company I worked for. He gathered it in, looked me dead in the eyes and said "I don't need you." Alright already, I comprende sir!

Be a fountain not a drain. Thanks Rex Hudler's mom, I LIKES THAT. If only I could remember that sometimes when I open my mouth and say what I really feel, HA.

Just a little dab'll do ya. Eat your Wheaties. Go Greyhound, and leave the driving to us. Ya put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up. An apple a day.....Cut to the chase.. A rolling stone gathers no moss. Don't be a squirrel, how many flattened squirrels have you seen that couldn't make a decision?

Easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission. Haste makes waste. My loving boss when I worked at the City Park "assholes and elbows, that's what I wanna see." Don't bite the hand that feeds you. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

We (the Royals) recently had a rookie pitcher make it into the 7th inning, virtually unscathed in his first ever Major League appearance. Two hits if I remember correctly. He'd reached his pitch count.. Ned Yost went out, smiling. The kid smiled back. 30,000 somethings on their feet cheering as Ned called for a reliever and took the ball from rook. "Son, walk slow, take it all in."

Ann Landers. Dr. Phil. Yogi: "When you come to the fork in the road, take it." From Joan Bakewell/Journalist "When someone annoys you, just imagine them naked, you'll feel their equal."

You're not that important, it's what you do that counts. Brush your teeth. Make your bed. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

I repeat stories. Advice: Let us old people repeat our stories. In the last three years, I've heard the same LP story 47 times, each and every time embellished a tad, but with a bright, vibrant 'telling'. I listened, and laughed, 47 times. My grandfather would drop us off at the swimming pool with "Don't get your feet wet."

Don't worry, be happy (don't worry be happy)... You'll shoot your eye out. Only pack what you can carry yourself. Don't make decisions when you're angry, and don't make promises when you're happy. <-- I needs me some help with that one.


The grass is greener on the other side, there's probably more manure there. Wait 24 hours before getting mad and reacting about anything. If it doesn't bother you in 24 hours time, it probably isn't important enough to get mad over. (another I needs some help with)


Try not to take anything personally. No one thinks about you as much as you do. Ha. Whenever something happens that makes you sad, ask yourself whether you'd still care about it when you're ninety. (I'll never make it to ninety... which reminds me of another.. "I don't wanna live to be 90" said the chirpy punk. On the day he/she is 89 years, 364 days, I wonder what they'd say if you asked them if they still feel like that?


Poor poor pitiful me. Ya ever had one of those months where anything, everything you touch turns to hell in a handbasket? Yeah, me too, these past 30 days. One example is buying a $4200 car thinking "nah, I only need liability" and ya watch as it catches on fire and the fire department snuffs it (and your tears) out.


So.. I turned to a friend. "Oh geez, here he comes again" I'm certain they thought. So I typed an email probably about twice as long as this blog relating how shi%%y my 30 days have been. Down. Needs me some up, I'll email that person, he/she will know what to say.

This person wrote back "You really are having a terrible month, I am so sorry! I can’t imagine how hard it has been for you losing ____ . "Whatever happens, if things don’t end up working out, don’t let this be your downfall. What’s that old saying, something about don’t hitch your wagon to one star? You are getting ready to enter one of the best times of your life. So it’s not how you pictured it - among other things, you lost your shaggin wagon (I think the Grand Prix will be a better chick magnet than the van anyhow lol). This stuff happens to the best of us. Wallow for a little while, not too long, then pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Now is the time to focus on YOU! Be totally selfish, financially, mentally, physically. Do the things that you enjoy, enjoy your grandkids. You are great with people. You love basketball. Would you want to coach when you retire? Volunteer with Big Brothers/Big Sisters? Get the hell out of KC and head to beach somewhere and bartend in a tiki hut? I just don’t want to see you lose your spark. You’ve still got a lot of life left!"

Damn. I feel better already, THANKS! If only people, people who help people when they need it - knew how HUGE that plays.. well.. again, some advice to me would be to "be there for the next guy." Thanks ML, I needed that.

Advice. There's Vic in it. There is Vic in service too - and, no idea whyinthehell I'm making this turn as it kinda sorta has nothing to do with this blog (but mebbe it does).. I walked into a store yesterday. Two clerks. Four of us in line. I was in line at the register where they person was pulling goodies out of a box, stocking them. She looks at me and says "Oh, you'll have to go to him (the dude with three people already in line waiting) as I've got to get this stocked before I get off." Lady (I wanted to say so badly) if I owned this store, I would tell you "the customers have a choice..when they walk in THEY are your first priority, not stocking, your phone, the spider on the wall, yada yada."

See, us old people getta bitch any time we want!

Ok, so.........

So, "What'll it be sir? I might tellya the Banana Daiquiri's are AWESOME."

Both hands on the wheel. Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

Love, Victurd.

(Editor's note. Trust me, I know my woes are MINISCULE compared to many - I reckon the point is (I write to me, for me, hitchhikers welcome) if you see someone maybe down, dig a bit, see if you can help. If someone comes to you in need, help 'em as my buddy did. Don't judge, just help, with a smile, the end)