Hoppin’ and a-boppin’ and singing his song..
All the little birdies on Jaybird Street
Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet…….
Tweeter.. Or twitter… or whateverinthehell u call it. Online, brief glimpses at a person’s day.
I guess checkenginelight.blogspot.com is no difference. A brief glimpse into the life. (Boy you must be bored sumbitches… all I can say.)
Tags expire 9/1/09. Tummy queasy. Simple answer - take a personal day off.
Mickey D’s.. I beat the old codger to the closest parking spot. So far, so good. Even splurged for Big Breakfast. Read paper. Nommuch new.
Drove by Meineke joint (Inspection)… Sign said “Open @ 7:30am”.. Chit. Twas 7:03am. Now I’ve had my time sleeping in the van - but too early. Coffee in me now. Back home. Oh chit, sorry Jackson, sorry Figaro… I’ll get cat food from the Piggly Wiggly today - a promise.
Checked email. Put on yesterday’s shirt (ewww)… hat on head.. Out the door.
“Well, we got some appointments… might be able to get to you by 10am.” Chit. “But, then again, I’m gonna give this one ten more minutes to get here, and if a no show, you’re up.”
Borrowing from my father, I spouted about a pleasant experience I’d had at their car shop before, and asked “how’s ole’ Hal?”….. Six minutes of smiling banter later.. I shook his hand, headed for the door. Thinking “hell yeah, I’m up!”…..
Damned if 30-something, gorgeous, tanned, hardly any clothes on chick walks in. Oh well, more coffee, another crossword puzzle.
Back to Meineke 40 minutes later. 30-something in lobby. She gets up to pace six or seven times, but I don’t look because she’s hardly got any clothes on at all. (Bridge? Florida?).. Snotnose (early 20’s) pulls her car up.. “It passed?”.. “Yep”… The dumbass mechanic.. If he woulda found something trivial wrong, he’da got to ogle at her 30-60 minutes more.
Time for me now. Early. Still not yet 9. Told my manager buddy “now I wanna tell you.. The driver’s side door will open from the inside, but it won’t from the outside.” He smiled, thanked me for telling him. I am my father’s son.
Same snotnose jumped in my car, pulled it into garage. Finished all the crossword ‘cept some stupid mountains in Russia. Slurped the remainder of my coffee. Peed a couple of times. (56 + 4 cups coffee = mucho pee)..
Manager walked up………. “WELLLLLLLL”… Oh chit. Brakes $149. Muffler “a hunnerd.” “Door won’t open, that’s illegal.” “Not enough tread on back tires.” I pictured me forking over $12... Going to that place - I call it “Cheers” - where everybody knows your name. That is, $30, here’s your sticker.
Yes manager friend… tell me tell me. “It passed, that’ll be $12 please. Well I’ll be sunny beach. To the courthouse.
Courthouse’s scare me. 90-something old crotchety ladies that ain’t been laid since Nixon was in office. Walked up to window. Surprise. A 40-something. She even smiled. YOU CAN’T DO THAT HERE.. NOT IN THE COURTHOUSE! NO ONE DOES!.. She did. “That’ll be $52.50”… and, just before I glanced at the 6 by 8 sign right next to me labeled “Please make checks out to Clay County Collector” I asked her “who do I make this out to?”..
Sheeeee--ittt… Barely 9am, and I’m 2/3rds of the way home.
License bureau. Tinted windows, can’t see inside. Not so many cars. Ha. Was I wrong. Opened door, and 7 people in line had to twist so I could fit in door. Sheee-iitt.. “There’re servin’ up free biscuits and gravy”some lost hippie smiled exposing his dental need smile. “Cool” I shot back. (By the time I finally got close to front of line, 23 others came in after me.. Same biscuit/gravy comment. I wanted to get ridda his other bicuspid by then.)
Lady, very calm - with kids, all boys, I’m guessing 3, 5 and 7. God Blessya ma’am. They were mostly well behaved - traversed a bit thru the office.. Bigger ones occasionally picked on littler ones… After we’d moved up six spots.. I asked “do u ever get a break?”.. .”Sometimes”… GD (gosh darn) if I were the hubby, I’d be thinking’ bout 2nd job “to make ends meet” (not frazzle my nerves.) She did well.. Well.. Almost.. Twenty-eight minutes of standing in line…..’mom… I gotta pee”.. “They don’t have a bathroom here honey.” I envisioned a hizzy - but somehow - we/they made it thru.
My turn. I SAW the “please make checks payable to the MO D.O.R…. aha, aheada the game. Anticipating an 80-something grumpy lady telling me “you ain’t got this form.. Go get it, come back to the enda the line, don’t pass go, and don’t collect two-hunner dolla’s…”.. I walked up to a smiling 50-something lady. She neatly took my paperwork. (She had no chair..geez).. I said “do you ever get a break?”.. she smiled.. “I won’t go there.”) I unnerstand. Dayum. I couldn’t own the joint and make those folks do that. I’d have massaging, soft, comfy chairs. Putting up with all that BS EVERY day.
Driver’s license eyeball examiner to our left. Old feller. Sure he was worried about eye test. “Now tell me again, what’s on line 5?”… Took his hat off to sneak a closer peek.. Felt sorry.. Shaking a little.. Maybe onset of Parkinsons.. Not good. Whew, he passed. Viva la go until you can’t.
“That’ll be $75.23 for two years.” Gee this is fun, are you sure I can’t pay double that? “Thanks ma’am, have a nice day.”
9:43am. Done. Finito. Do I put the stickers on now? Nah, it’s 8/28, basta don’t expire for three more days - I’ll remember by next weekend, surely. (Remember avoidance behavior?)..
So return home.. Again check email.. “Oh shit, I’m sorry Jax, Fig, I PROMISE I’ll go to store for cat food SOON.” I later heard one of ‘em sharpening claws on sofa. I’m in trouble here.
I’m heading for the Piggly Wiggly. I LOVE tweeting to you bored outta your guard folks. I’m thankful for every breatha life.. Every waking hour.. Every smile.. Every firm female booty (sorry).. And for the extra hours today I really didn’t think I’d have.
Rockin' robin, tweet tweet tweet
Rockin' robin' tweet tweetly-tweet
Blow rockin' robin
'Cause we're really gonna rock tonight
Havea really tweet weekend. Love, Victurd. (Thankfully, this story won’t be retold for two, count ‘em, two more years)…..
No comments:
Post a Comment