I'd walk a mile for a smile (A song by Ferlin Husky, never heard of him, the song, but Ilikes the idea.)
I'd walk a mile for a Camel. (So said the 1966 commercial, the times they are a changing, now it's the Camel who walks a mile telling everyone what damn day it is.)
I'd walk a mile for:
Mom's Spanish Rice
To hug her, her, her and her again.
A Christmas with us six cousins all around the tree one more time.
A 300 Burger. (You'd have to live in Liberty.)
The smell of a new car, as in mine, minus the damn sales tax and comprehension payments).
A seat to a Rolling Stone's concert.
I'd walk many miles for a fenced in backyard with three, count 'em three, dogs of my own inside it.
To see 211 Liberty Bluejay Class of 1970 folks from that day with tassled hats. (Of course we'd all run up to the ones that are no longer here, but, how, what, would you say? You couldn't let them know they're departing early...or would a simple hella long hug communicate that silently?)
An ice chilled Modelo Negra.
To beat John McAdams again in golf... we bet $1each time and he's won the last 32 times I think it is. Feels like it anyways.
OK. The real reason behind "Walk a mile." A commenter VERY nicely stated her enjoyment for this blog because "we feel like we lived that life with you" and "We may not have been friends back then, lived in the same neighborhood or did all of the same things, but we can always relate in one way or the other."
Secondly, you walk mile in these size 11's you are guaranteed to have stinky feet. You see, I hate socks (Ceptin' the ones hung by a fireplace at Christmas time.)
You've been divorced? TWICE? Oh Lordy Lordy we've got some talking to do. That means you too said "Til death do us part"... TWICE? Reincarnate much?
You too spent six wonderful years getting your Bachelor's Degree? Ain't mom proud? Hehe. I shoulda been shot. My mother worked in the same building as my college Registrar, and it was touch and go, nailbite to the very end to see if I would FINALLY make it. Shame on you, you person walking in same shoes, you should have studied harder... you should not have gone all those times to The River, to Kansas, to Bachelor's III (oops), to Royal's games, keggers in the Country, to Padre Island driving non-stop for 24 hours with 27 similar crazy young men. SHAME ON YOU FOR HAVING SO MUCH FUN IN LIFE!
You actually spent time at work on Facebook? You REALLY fell asleep in your cubicle too? The 6th night of your child's life, at 3am when you and your spouse were smoking a cig in the living room because whatshisname had awoken 7 times already, and then, on the 8th crying time, you had the gall to look across the room at your spouse and say ("My cigarette is longer.") You REALLY said that?
You too had a waterbed, and on her 8th month, you refused to help her out of bed unless she promised to cook meatloaf that night? SHAME ON YOU!
THAT. That happened to your underwear too? You REALLY ARE disgusting!
Seriously? You drive the speed limit? If someone tailgates you actually slow down more? I can't believe you.
And that one time. That one time you lost $400 at the blackjack table and you dejectedly went home and told your spouse you "lost a hunnerd." I hope you went to church the following Sunday, geez Louise.
(Former students, former players I coached, all relatives, turn left here, sorry.) You really usedto torch your farts in college? Come on man!
God saw you. That time, your mom dropped you off at Antioch Shopping Center in 1961... she gave you $5 to buy your cousin a Christmas present. You STOLE a bottle of Brut and then went and bowled two games with the 5 bucks? Well you'll be go to hell too! For shame!
I guess I could go on, and thankfully I have for 68 years. Forgive me Father for I have sinned, but, reckon most of us have.
Derelict could be would be a pretty good definition of me sometimes in the past. Really though, I'm harmless (unless you're a bug in the house on the floor, then I'll kill you, even barefooted. Eww, sure, but worse if you let 'em go knowing 'they are out there.'
You too leave the lid up? Criminy!
You too can fall in love within three minutes of meeting, seeing someone? You are nutso!
I love friends. Smiles. Dogs. Cats. Family. Inlaws. Laughter. Children. The ability to pull it out and pee on a tree on the golf course. Sports. The TV Show Naked and Afraid - please don't tell. Making fun of those I love who I know would never swat me. Being made fun of by those I know who know I would never swat them. German Chocolate cake, butter pecan ice cream, Fritos, a good steak, medium (I know, I know).. SUDOKU <-I am an addict.
Coworkers (eh, 76% at least over the years.) Bosses. (eh 63% at least over the years.)
Hate? Huh? Do I? I much prefer the word abhor. I abhor fish, yes, that includes shrimp and any other crustacean. I abhor when folks refer to a general grouping of people with the word "them." Patoooey. I abhor Political fights on Facebook and yes, forgive me again Father I unfriended one. Ok, three.
I love life, rarely take it seriously and that's probably good cause why I'm divorced, live in an apartment insteada a house and have an IRA the size of a thimble. Or a needle.
Thank you, all, very much for walking a mile in my shoes. I hope you brought some deodorant so your feet won't stink. Of course you could torch a fart and that would make the smell not nearly as bad. I'm sorry. I'll go.
Oh happy day.... oh happy day.
Love, Victurd
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