1937

The bumbling, stumbling group of seven returned home from working at the mines one night to find their greasy, grimy, small cottage was Spic and Span... thankfully, Spic and Span was invented in 1933, but whointheheck could have done the cleaning of the cottage?

For a moment Happy stopped laughing about whatever he was laughing about and said, "I know, let's call the 3 bears and see if they have any idea?"... Grumpy abruptly said "You idiot Happy, that story was from 1839, those bears are, ahem, in forever hibernation."

"Well," chimed in Sleepy, "as long as someone ain;t been sleepng in my bed, I'm gonna take a nap."  Happy laughed, Bashful turned red, Grumpy rolled his eyes, Sneezy ahhh-choooo'ed.

Suddenly, no longer lethargic, Sleepy shouts "Hey, there's some chicky in my bed!" Doc rushed in to make sure she was breathing, Bashful peeked around the door threshold with one eye to see. Dopey tripped going up the stairs.  Grumpy ran and got his pistol, Sneezy ah-chooooo'ed, awakening the beautiful lady from her slumber.

They surrounded her bed, she gasped when she realized she was staring down the barrel of Grumpy's gun with him yelling "GET HER!"..  She BEGGED, "no, please, you've got to protect me from the evil queen!"....She told the story of how she got there, fleeing for her life...

Doc took it all in calmly, Happy believed it in a heartbeat, Bashful finally came around the corner, Dopey kinda stood there, Sneezy - well, you know... Grumpy noted "and then there were 6", beckoned Bashful to go get Sleepy outta his bed.

Upon hearing of the evil Queen, Grumpy put his gun down, sat on the edge of the bed and provided a much needed shoulder touch of "It's ok" to the Snow White lady.  Doc suggested, "Hey, I know, it's Kid's Eat Free at HopI, the 7 of us can eat free and we'll pretend she's our mom!" Grumpy cussed, then, remembered he was in a Disney movie, apologized, and said "OK, let's go, but damnit Doc it's IHop not HopI.....oops, sorry to cuss Walt."

They went, had cakes galore... all gathered in the den to watch DNN on TV.  Breaking News (isn't there always Breaking News?).. "Pandemic happening, stay home." Sneezy was easily manipulated and headed for bed. Doc offered "I know all of it about."  Bashful turned red, Dopey looked puzzled, Grumpy untangled "You mean you know about all of it."  "Yeah, that," Doc answered, peeking over his specs.

Stumbling periodically, but knowledgeable yet the same.. he informed them all about masks, 6 foot rule, quarantines, hand washing, sanitizer, yada.

Bashful ran to the store to buy masks, returned with a package of 6 that was on sale.. Grumpy said "Whatsup with that?"  "Well," Bashful explained, "I figure all of us could wear one, but, and no offense Sneezy, but you ah-choooo so often, I figured you could pull up your t-shirt over your nose/mouth, and wash it frequently."

"All well and good," Doc answered, "but what about Snow White?"  "Oh, don't you boys worry about me, I'll cut a piece from my apron and sew my own, mask, it's all good."

Happy, who doesn't stop laughing all that often, suddenly stopped. "Ya know, our small cottage is 42' long, which is perfect for Social Distancing for 7 of us, but for 8 people, we need it to be 48' long."

They all conversed on an idea, except Dopey, he simply held his hand underneath his chin.

They gave Bashful the keys to the truck, instructed him to purchase enough lumber to make the house be in 'code'... not long after he returned empty handed. "The hell?" Grumpy shouted, "I mean, the heck?"

"Well," Bashful explained, "while I was driving there, the head honcho from the mines called, apologized, but then said we were being laid of due to the pandemic, I got to the lumber yard, they told me that prices had increased 712%, so I knew we couldn't afford it with no income, so figured we once again could confer on what to do."  "Criminy" Grumpy shot.. "Criminy ain't a cussword is it?"  Doc, the educated one said nope.

Between drips, Sneezy said, "Hey, I read about that Paul Bunyan guy, maybe he could help?"  "Shit," Grumpy blurted, "er, I mean shoot, Sneezy, you idiot, Paul Bunyan did his handiwork in 1839, I really doubt he's around today."

By this time, they'd gathered, sharpened their saws and were intent to set out to chop down enough trees to make their cottage 48', enough for Social Distancing for all.  "The hell, er, heck, is Sleepy?" Grump yelled. "Ain't sure," Hap said, "but I got an idea."  Dopey just kinda stood there.  Happy went, found Sleepy, and for hours all that was heard was the zig-zagging of the saws, with an occasional ah-choooo thrown in."

Snow White had hot chocolate and S'mores for all the Smurfs once they were done. Happy he-hawed with "Wrong fairy tale Snow White a lady, but we get the idea, and YUM!"

"I can't really taste the S'mores" Bashful hollered. "Oh uh," Doc muttered, "I mean 'Uh oh'... and off to the doghouse (with extra blankets) Bashful was sent for 14 days.

Thursday afternoon came and went, they all, unable to attend their favorite Pee Wee football game due to the pandemic.  Happy tried to console "Don't worry, we'll be back to normal one day."  Grumpy looked at Happy, then turned to look at Dopey, closing one of his eyes as he did.

"Oh CRAP...er, I mean shucks," said Doc, it's been 15 DAYS!  Dopey, go get Bashful and tell him he's all good." Dopey tapped Happy on the shoulder as if to say "Happy, would you come with me?"   Happy understood the gesture, and sure, he'd be Happy to.

BREAKING NEWS DNN plastered allover the boob tube.  Vaccine ready, come-n-get-it'... all 8 of 'em did, even though it took some convincing to get Grumpy to hop in with 'em.

Thursday, two weeks later, they all went, celebrated a win compliments of their favorite Pee Wee football team! "Yipee" Happy yelled, Dopey clapped, Bashful was the last into the car for the ride home.

Upon arrival, Snow White greeted them with a 6 pack of beer (Sneezy is allergic to barley) and a plateful of Itty Bitty Sweet Potato Stacks.  Sneezy got a cold glass of milk with a splash of Allegra.

They gulped the Stacks down, and just as they were finishing DNN once again had Breaking News.  "STORMS ABOUND. TAKE COVER."  They took the transistor radio to the basement, and guess which one said "I'm Happy we don't have to social distance any more."?? About that time Sneezy ahhhhh-choooed and sprayed allover, and the normally jovial Happy sad "But I kinda wish we could've social distanced."

They all jumped in their cribs (literally) for the night, and Snow White got the lone twin mattress.  

Morning came.  They were startled to look out the door and see debris allover. Trees, shingles, wood pieces, all kindsa foreign objects. With Sneezy's ahhh-chooos and Doc's snoring, they'd not heard a thing.

"Holy Shit!" Grump said as he looked out the back door, then immediately apologized and put a quarter in the cuss jar.  An entire house was lifted from somewhere, and lit in their yard. Upon further review, the house had landed on someone... and there were two legs sticking out from under, wearing some magic slippers. Standing back, Bashful inquired "She breathing?"... at 6:52 am, Doc proclamed the lady under the house to be officially deceased.

"IT'S THE EVIL QUEEN!" Snow White exclaimed...  Just about that time, the Huntsman rode up on his horse, jumped off, pulled the ruby red shoes off of the Queen, handed 'em to Snow White, then said "Hop on."

She kissed all 7 of 'em, even Sneezy, good bye, bid them well.

Wasn't long after the 7 were observed to be heading out the door in unison, singing, "Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, pandemic's over it's off to work we go."

Just another fairy tale from Gullible's Travels.

Doc tucked his stethescope under his shirt, Happy winked, Bashful was last in line, Sleepy was next to last because Bashful had to push him along the way. Dopey walked in silence and Grumpy bellowed "Jane, you ignorant slut, sorry, kinda, THIS is a Gullible's Travel because we didn't sing "Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go. It was 'Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's HOME from work we go. Don't believe me, Google it.  Right Walt?

Love, and apologies,

Victurd

Blogger's note, which is akin to Editor's note.  Apologies, kinda. I truly set out to do a blog on Neil Young, there were so many wonderful songs, so many song meanings, different groups he was in (and wasn't for awhile, CSN). CSN&Y together, apart, together, apart. Also so many wives, Victor, look who's talking, yeah, I know... I figured it would be impossble to include it all in a 2 page blog.  Again, sorry.  I hope apologies help, that's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it. Tune in tomorrow for the fairy tale of when Cinderella chokes Elsa for upstaging her.