I log off because I'm bored. I log back on in five minutes because I'm bored. Be warned, I'm bored, this could get dangerous.
"Boredom: The desire for desires. " - Leo Tolstoy
So.. I logged back in to search "boredom ideas."
"Give yourself a manicure or pedicure." You ever seen a man with a beer belly cut his toenails? Me neither.
"Take a bubble bath." I dream for that, I guess I'm wierd, MUCH rather take a bath than a shower.. I ain't gots no tub. Next.
"Try out a new facemask or beauty product." DOH!
"Do yoga." Scroll to beer belly.
"Take a nap." OK, brb.. where was I? On the way back I looked in the mirror. On one side of my head my hair actually looked ok.. the other side... flat like a pancake. I giggled. That wasn't boring.
"Write a poem or a journal." Duh....
"Write a letter to your future self." Ahm, OK. "Dear Mr. Schultze, you look like crap. You gotta pulse? You look bored too. (DOH!).. Let's see.. I remember you saying "I don't wanna live to be 90." Well, you're now 89 years, 364 days old. Now what?" The end, that was boring.
"Drink tea." Ahm, no.
"Cuddle with a pet or S.O." Here kitty kitty. Spot? Run Spot! Over here. C'mere baby, I'll dim the lights and put on some Barry White. Just remembered, I ain't gotta cat... or a dog.. or an S.O. Next.
"Sit or lay outside in good weather." We had our first snow in Kansas City today. Next.
"Bake some desserts." It's that white thing over there isn't it? The one where the door opens down to you?
"Rearrange your furniture." Ahm, are you aware the number one thing that puts folks my age in nursing homes is a fall? Next.
"Update your resume." K. Worked here, there, everywhere. Retired. Working three days a week as a golf course flunky so I can one day have enough stashed away so I ain't gotta work. Thank you in advance, for your time and attention to my resume." There, done.
"Clean your makeup brushes." How did you kno..... Nevermind.
"Make lists." I AM! It's still pretty damn boring!
"Donate old clothes or other items to your local charity." I JUST did that, today! Good idea, and it wasn't boring!
"Go to a play or musical." Ok. Ahm, excuse me sir, you are number 11 in line, sorry, you're not going to be able to get in.
"Make a cocktail." NOW you're talking!
"Try out a new restaurant." OH BOY OH BOY, YES! LASAGNA! "Here you go sir, that's $11.96." Here's $15 ma'am, please keep the change. Hey, I wanted to tell you, your parking lot looks really clean and good. I can't wait until the day I get to go inside and try your joint. Hey, I know it's cold and it's snowing, but I'm kinda bored, do you have some time to chat?" Hehe.
"Make an effort to learn something new." OK. I know! I'll go find one of David Moffitt's posts! There's sure to be a word or twenty that I don't know.
"Take a hike somewhere." Funny you should suggest that. When I went to pickup my lasagna, and I told that little gal I was bored and wondered if she had some time for idle chit-chat, she too suggested I go for a hike. I will try it one of these days!
"Look for a new favorite quote or saying." K. howabout "Is boredom anything less than the sense of one's faculties slowly dying?" Arthur Helps. Ahm, Mr. Helps, that don't help. You see, I wrote that one guy in the future and Lordy Lordy I could tell his facutlties were slowly dying. Thanks, but later I'll try to find another. I'm kinda bored with it right now.
OK, a new site. "217 things to do when you are bored."
"Create a vision board for the year." Let's see. The 'ex usedta have that voodoo doll on the fridge where she put a pin in for every person that got on her nerves, I think I still have it! Perfect, and oh so fitting for 2020, the election, all that crap!
"Edit old photos." K, but how do I write on them ones stored in my Android phone photo app?
"Dance and sing." NOW you're talkin!
"Write a letter of gratitude." OK. Dear Mr. Pasta Joint owner. I had to take two Rolaids after, but don't worry, that lasagna was damn good. You have the cleanest parking lot of any pasta joint in the area. The little gal that waited on me was good, kinda brief, but good. Thanks again, and I promise to come back when them stools ain't 6' apart. Vic
"Do a quick workout." Ok. Half a push up, off to the fridge. That work?
"Get into creative writing." That would be a good thing, for this is very boring.
"Call an old friend." Guys don't really do that, would texting be ok?
"Watch a classic movie that was made before you were born." They had movies then?
"Decorate your home according to Feng Shui principles." Feng who?"
"Fold your fitted sheets." Sorry, I've got that planned for all day Sunday.
"Learn poi dancing." Did that Feng guy invent that?
"Make a meal plan' Ahm, two hot dogs, one and half minutes in the microwave, the rest of those BBQ Chips, and a Bud Light. Cinchy.
"Ty origami." That Feng dude is pushing it now.
OK, I'll stop. You're welcome. You gotta admit, it's been pretty El Boro since March. I don't really think it's finding things to do - it's moreso hugs, handshakes, high fives, nestled around a fire pit, visiting loved ones where you don't fear anyone getting sick.
To me, a positive to this is to realize how really spoiled we are. Good Lord allows us to 'go back' to normalcy, I think we'll be a happier sort. A newfound appreciation for things we'd taken for granted for years.
Just observation, our children have adapted much more easily than us old farts. Kids rock, adults drool.
Sure, I get bored. Certain you do as well. We still have 'highlights' that keep us'a goin. For me personally, it's working at a golf course (work that is actually fun), lifelong buddies putting up weekly with me taking ten or more golf strokes than they do. Family, albeit mostly via text. Royals, Chiefs, MU, local high school sports.. A good book. Facebook. The Good Book. Lots actually. I know you do too.
We'll make it. One foot in fronta the other. Might be a long walk, but the Good Lord willing, we'll make it.
Going to look in the closet now. One suggestion was to 'play some bored games', so I'll try to find some.
By Henry Gibson (Chairman of the Bored.)
Love, Victurd
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