Life has learnt me..........

People are nice. Darn nice. Ya ever get in onea them "mad at the world" moods and someone comes along and sprinkles dadgum niceties allover the place? Uh huh, me too. Thank God for them.

Gingers are hardheaded. And blondes. And Brunettes.

Laughter helps. Laughing at one's self helps s'more. Having a friend who does something you can laugh at him/her for is THE BEST. Well, mebbe second place to great sex. Sorry. Kinda. Not really.

For every Mick Jagger 'Please allow me to introduce myself', it takes the other lads singing "doo - doo... doo-doo" to make it work. Same with Blue Suede's Hooked on a Feeling's "Ooga-chaka-ooga-chaka, Ooga-chaka-ooga-chaka, Ooga-chaka-ooga-chaka, Ooga-chaka-ooga-chaka." If there were no batboys, there'd be wood allover the damn field. Can a female be a mailman? If so, which restroom would they go into at Mickey D's?

Righty tighty ain't nuttin' without Lefty Loosey. Odds are 50% u plug the USB cord in the right way the first time.. the coin lands on heads.. you get divorced.. Ha. You can't live in Tahiti and sing "Baby it's cold outside." You can't gain warmth if you only rub one hand (although I do have a first cousin who can clap with one hand. Honest. It's quite entertaining.

If you live in Barrow, Alaska, from November 18 until January 22nd you can't blame darkness on her or the song "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone."

Right field. I am a lover of right field. As in, coming out of right field. Abby Normal. Imagine food with no spice.. Twinkies with no gooey junk.. a BL sandwich.. or a PB sandwich. (Actually, never was a fan of PBJ sandwiches.. PB and Banana, hell to the yes, but not PBJ. Band camp, basketball road trips long ago, when players were eager but meal money was meager - we had THE MOST hideous PB&J sandwiches. Patooey.)

Right field is where we parked after softball.  We'd play for two hours, then spend four hours laughing, making fun of one another, letting the kids run so they'd go to bed at 8pm, have a few beers and enjoy the heck outta life and each other.

Cold makes one appreciate warm. So does a $1 mini bottle of Hot Damn.

God purposely plants some people in your life, I know He does.  There was an older guy I worked with for years. Ya know the type of person, that no matter when you see 'em, they smile and it in turn makes you happy? That was him. Yeah, was. He's gone, but reminders abound. He gave me a Tony Gonzales Chief's jersey of the most different color Gold ya ever seen. Boo koo times I've worn in it public and it always brings a complement.

The other day, yep, the freezing day, furnace went out. 3am. Electricity, most, was out. This is where you promise to please not tell anyone how stupid I am. PROMISE? Thanks to my son, we found the damn fuse box. Only the outlets in the kitchen worked. In fact, the fridge light was the only damn light in the house that worked. My son had flipped all the fuses (two rows, 6 on top, 6 on bottom) one direction. I flipped 'em the other way to see if that would help. Nope, fridge light out, so, went back and flipped them the other way - yep, fridge light on. Furnace, all else, nuh uh.

Apartment maintenance dude came around 9:30-ish - showed me "you have half the switches wrong.. the top ones go up and the bottom ones go down." About that time, the damn furnace came on. Remember, you said you wouldn't tell. Well that was nice but we still didn't have any lights. "Gotta go to City to get a breaker, OK if I come back tomorrow?" Uh huh. He did. Put the new breaker in the box outside the house, barged in the door smiling, only to have his smile defrocked when he saw the damn lights were still out. Turns out, he replaced the breaker in Apartment #1 and I live in Apartment #2. The fact he be stupid too kinda made me feel better.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo...... for two days I lived with 16' extension cords allover the damn house. Today, as I undid them, pushed, pulled everything back in place (including this computer/computer desk I'm using now), a wooden MU Christmas ornament was somehow on the floor. Uh huh, same old dude, my beloved buddy Leon, had given to me years ago. There is a God and he placed Leon in my life. Toes, smile, heart, warm now.

We are all, can be, grumpy. Which brings us back to those two things - best friends and sex. It's a wunnferful cycle ain't it?

This has nothing to do with that.. but I thought of it, so fingers moved. Family Fued. I ain't vomited in quite awhile, but whenever one of the team members shouts an answer and the 5 remaining family members, in unison, shout "GOOD ANSWER CHARLIE" I wanna vomit. Once, JUST once, I'd love to hear the guy shout his answer, and the 5 remaining family members chime in "Charlie you are a friggin' idiot, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Better ratings I bet.

I recently had a beloved family member living with me. Forty-two consecutive times I got up to go somewhere (pee, to put my coat on, to grab a Coke, yada) this beloved family member asked "Where ya going?" Solved that on time number 43.. "Where ya goin?" Crazy. I'm going crazy.

In my life time, work, play, yada, for years I've been around a few, only a few, folks that don't/won't/can't have fun. I usedta just think "Eh, that's the way it is." Now, I wouldn't care if they fell in the urinal and never surfaced - but then again, mebbe God planted them also so you'd have an example not to follow.

I'm rambling so I'd better go. Just had to type/write because I'm hooked on this feeling. Ooga-chaka-ooga-chaka, Ooga-chaka-ooga-chaka, Ooga-chaka-ooga-chaka, Ooga-chaka-ooga-chaka.

Love... because it beats the alternative, and some folks can't do that - so, we needs to love.. and have fun. And laugh at yourself. And Charlie and his stupid answer. And love, like God and Leon demonstrate.

Victurd