As always, I ain't real sure why I'm here, why I'm writing.
If you remember, some by choice, some by personal inability, I wasn't a great student/studier. I kinda sorta had 'em fooled though. Our Senior year, those in the National Honor Society, were allowed to get up and go (wherever) the last 15 minutes of each class. I wasn't in the NHS, but I was on the Student Council, no one ever questioned me, so, I got up each and every day, every class, to galavant with those that are/were much smarter than I. I guess yldrawkcassab, this did make me smart. Ha.
Now, there are two things in life I do very much love to study. One, people. Two, my eyelids.
Poor longterm planning, coupled with more month than SS Check amount, led me to search for additional means to make a buck. Found on FB, a company asking for folks to assist in studies, "pretend juries", marketing research, yada, at perty decent pay. (First one I did awhile back was 8 hours for $200. I almost didn't make it through. The stern lectern lady running the study warned us in advance, basically, "you ain't goin' no damn where 'cause if you do, you ain't getting paid." Which, is in direct disconcert with my prostate pressing frequently upon my bladder. Long about three hours in, I raised my hand.. "What's the matter?" stern lectern lady asked, "My BLADDER", aging geezer replied. "Oh, OK, 5 minute bathroom break.") Whew, TY.
The one yesterday, only two hours, ha, I can do this. 15 minutes before the start of this study, I, and two other geezers, stood silently infronta the urinals awaiting whatever it is down there to click in to start a flow. TMI I know, just wanna make sure you get the drip, er, drift.
OH BOY, I getta study people today! Being one of the first ones in the room, I spotted a hotty. In a millisecond, I deducted gorgeous smile, oh baby lips, and very nice derriere (sorry, kinda, butt it's our secret right?) Normally, I'd go sit at the other sidea the room, but, being 67, not knowing how many more damn sunrises I'll get, I ran, kinda, to sit in the chair right beside her. Smalltalk. I suck at that. "Do you come here often" ain't gonna work, but "Have you done any of these studies" kinda did. She gave me her smile, and explained a study she'd done before - and all the while I thought to myself "I know you're too damn old Victor, but mebbe, just mebbe she's closer in age than you think."
One by one we strolled into another room to begin the session. 6 chicks, 6 dudes. Different sizes, economics, ages, geographics, races, and we'd soon learn, differing opines. This study was about a horrific accident resulting in a death (wrongful?) - and we, the 12 of us with differing faults, were to pretend to be jury to cipher who is at fault, or if shared, what percent fault of each. I, mebbe purposely, nestled in a chair betweengst the two very largest folks in the room. Better to be thought a fool than to be seen, speak up, remove all doubt.
The moderator looked like Bob Saget, but had the calm personality of Pete Buttigieg. The males included me and three other raisins, a young, quiet guy, and a very large man that was sitting next to me. When he finally spoke, I expected to hear James Earl Jones, but he more resembled a high pitched Pee Wee Herman's voice. Likeable man, spoke with conviction.
The chicks consisted of a 20-something, two 30-somethings, the Hotty/age unknown but hoped to be older, Broken Record lady, and.. Broomhilda (more, sadly, later on her.)
The details, and pictures, of the horrificness were shared - and one by one, in no particular order we went around the room, asked questions, spoke our peace, sounded "what if's, coulda this/that" happened.
Hotty was on the other side of the room, and damned if there wasn't a mirror where, when looking at the moderator, boom, it was focused right on her too. Being a pig, I snuck in a lotta peeks. Got caught a time or two, but scroll to "dunno how many sunrises left", who cares.
Broken record lady repeated her same sentiment/opine a hunnerd plus times. I'm sure the two 20-somethings felt the same way about her, but they ain't got the foggiest idea what a broken record is, so I wondered what they called her. "Damn pop-up" maybe?
Broomhilda, well, I spotted her that name because I kinda thought she was a witch. Life has learned me, there's just some people where you can tell in the first 30 seconds, huh uh, I'll never call you to go have coffee. Pour it on you mebbe, but never share. She was LOUD. Ultra loud. When she tried to make a point (which was sadly about 30% of our two hour study) she got louder. Once I thought she was done, I hadn't contributed much, so I started to speak, as she heard me, she got LOUDER and LOUDER and LOUDER. It was just then I said a prayer - for you see - I saw the wedding ring on her hand and I prayed for that little sucker. He had to have been intoxicated when she clubbed him on the head, awakened only to find a ring on her finger. Victor, that ain't very nice. Neither was she. Sorry. Kinda. Not really.
The other three raisin men. One was very talkative, in a good way, and I learned from him - he made me think. A very moral dude - who also possessed the capability to play devil's advocate. (No, not Broomhilda.. the devil.) The other two raisins were kinda like me.. listened more than talked - so, when they did talk, I highly valued what they said - their observations.
Long about that time, Hotty had the floor.. and she mentioned "just had a baby" and right then and there I absolutely knew I was the biggest idiot in the room. Aye yai yai.
The mirror actually turned out to be a one-way thingy, where lawyers were perched behind listening, as we were all being videotaped/recorded.
We had nameplates turned so Bob Saget Buttigieg could see, and once I heard "Victor, you've been pretty quiet, what have you to say?" I scooted up to immerge from in between the two very big people, wanted to say "Broken record lady, please stop.. Broomhilda, I think your house is on fire you oughta leave.. and Hotty, I'm sorry I "creepy-flirted." Instead, I said what I felt about the very serious topic, and hopefully it came across without too much salt, pepper and sugar adorned.
In the end, the 12 of us with differing faults, were given a piece of notebook paper, pen... and we were asked to write down the Plaintiff, Defendent's names.. and attach a percentage of fault. Whilst details, discussion, Broken Record, Broomhilda, Hotty, fellow raisins made me think - I pretty much was unswayed in my opine from the get go.
Two hours, a hunnerd dollars, and a trip to Piggly Wiggly for $36 of eats, I was back at my abode, ne'er again to see fellow "fault" folks. This life studying, even when involving death, is pretty interesting.
VICTOR???? WAIT? Huh? Wha'for? Rose Garden, whatinthehell does this have to do with Rose Garden? Oh yeah, each and every time Broomhilda spoke, it reminded me of having to listen to the Rose Garden. Sorry, kinda, slipped.
Like studies of people, so are the days of our lives.
BRB, going to study eyelids.
Love, Victurd
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