If you're Happy and you know it - don't read this.....

I'm not Happy.....

Then which one are you?

Doc?  Oh heavens no, but I do admit to Googling my symptoms upon occasion... Dr. Google can be skeery.. I Googled 'headache' and learned I could have had a stroke, or brain cancer... My shoulder was hurting, Doc Google told me it could be Lyme disease..  My chest hurt, and yep, he said "heart attack or pulmonary embolism."  I actually did cipher (correctly) once I had PAD.  Rooto rootered leg (twice) and away goes blood down the vein (or artery)..  Bottomline, to be Happy (and healthy), go see a real Doc.

Are you Grumpy?  NO I AM NOT GRUMPY, why would you ask?  OK, sometimes I am. I can't help it.  (Victor, you can, trust me.)  OK, mebbe.  I don't wanna be Grumpy, hence, the search today for Happy.

Are you Sneezy?  Well, sometimes.  Mom said long ago "shoulda had your adenoids taken out."  Close your ears, I hate to blow my nose.  It's gross.  I know it's the best thing to do, I just can't bring myself to do it.  So, instead I more aesthetically pleasing rub my nostril with the exterior of my index finger (EWWW) until my nose gets so red I Google red nose and learn I may have Lupus.  VICTOR!  Sorry, kinda.  Victor, please learn to blow your nose.  OK...........mebbe.

Are you Bashful?  Perhaps.  In a large group around the table, at conversation end someone might getup and say "Who was that quiet guy and whatsup with him?"  But, gimme a damn keyboard and mouse and I'm a loudmouth.  Yes, I said it.  If you talk, there's no backspacing.  Yes, I know 'hitting send' is akin to no backspacing, and occasionally I do that, then quickly rethink, DELETE it, then worry for four years about who'd read it before I erased it.

Are you Sleepy?  ALL. THE. TIME.  I Googled that (VICTOR!) and learned I might be depressed, or have the beginning of Alz..  I dunno.  Thinking more positively though, I approach it as, "I'm retired, I'll take a dadgum nap whenever I wanna."  In fact, kinda sleepy now...  brb......


Thanks for waiting.  Victor, are you Dopey?  HOW?  HOW did you see my transcript from my first semester at NWMSU?  YES, I had a 1.6, but I thought I'd burned that when I burned my first marriage certificate???????????????????

OK, not to belittle, or dwarf the conversation, but I seriously Googled, today, how to be happy, what makes one happy ,how to be happier, yada.  There were a lot of nifty suggestions.

Much.  Much today is/can be very depressing.  Shootings (we've lost 89 in Kansas City this year, many of those under 15 years of age.). Politics.  Smooth as silk eh?  Facebook.  Sure, fun, for awhile, or, some of it, but lots makes one wanna vomit.  I ain't bashful to vomit like I am to not blow my nose.  When it comes to upchuck, there ain't no hesitation.

What then Victor?  What makes one Happy?

I am (can be) Grumpy, I am (can be) Bashful, I am (can be) Dopey, I am Sleepy, Like Popeye "I can't be's no's Doc 'cause I'm losing my patience."

Happy?  Here's what this thing called life has taught me.  I DO NOT profess to be an expert, it's all simply lifelong observation.

Happy people smile.   A lot.  Happy people ain't pigeonholed... ie, they come from all walks.  All colors.  All religions (or no religion).  All countries.  All heights, weights. Money (or not) don't matter.

Happy people tend to compliment others.  Happy people generally don't share their woes.  Happy people don't talk about coworkers.  VICTOR!!! I know, but all she does is sit in that chair while I.. VICTOR!!!  Ok, sorry... dangit.

Happy people ask if you need help.  And... they mean it.   Happy people care (and ask) how you are doing (and mean it.)  In general, people of faith are happy.  Sure, you don't have to be religious to be happy.   Happy people, generally, love animals.  If by chance they're allergic to cats, they still love their persnickety-ness.  They may hate dog hair, but let 'em lay allover the sofa, then DustBust at evening's end.

Happy people go, do.  Happy people laugh, even if they might sound like Horshack when doing so.

Happy people instinctively know the right thing to say........or not say.

Oft times, they are coupled.  Lucy/Ricky.  Kevin/Winnie.  Edith/Archie.  George/Louise.  Homer/Marge.  Ain't a prerequisite to happiness, but can shake and bake help.

Happy people are good listeners.  I have no idea howinthehell one judges "good listening", but, they just are.

Happy people enjoy fountains more than drains.

Happy people love, without exception,

Happy people can be Grump, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy (usually internally)...or even a Doc.

Not much phases them............... or so I've noticed.

If you're happy and you know it................... rub your head and pat your belly.  Or... say "UNIQUE NEW YORK" THREE TIMES.. REAL FAST!

You tried it and you laughed at yourself didn't you?

Happy people don't preach, and please know I ain't.  If I professed to know all the answers I wouldn't have Googled "how to be happy", "what makes one happy."

I'm learning happiness is a choice.  And, that it can be learned.

I'm off to the Dollar Tree to buy some Kleenex.  I'm gonna try blowing my nose for the first time ever.  God that's gross.

Don't worry, be happy......

Love, Victurd

PS:  I Googled unhappiness and Doc Google told me anti-depressants can help.

PSS:  VICTOR!!!!!!!!!!!