"Sometimes I don't have a clue what you're saying"

Comprende? Dig? Understand (rubber band)?

A many year friend recently wrote that ("don't have a clue") - and then showered with superlatives after. I love the word understand.... understand?

We all are of different medulla oblongata, different walks, different talks, colors, sizes, sexes, socioeconomics, backgrounds, climates, towns, frowns, smiles, whiles....

Lots I don't understand. Sushi, bleeeck.. My bloody English mate, and hell, they were speaking the language long before us. Española. Why birds don't get fried on power lines. Driving 70 and not being able to see the front bumper of the car seven feet behind. I don't understand God awful, and awfully good.

Hate. I hate hate. Victor, I don't understand that. Sorry.. I hate that. I don't understand flies, crickets, cicadas, moths, ants, raccoons (the little bastards), mice....

Anatomy and kinesiology (And I HAD to take that to graduate, get a degree.) I no comprende that some with degree look down on those that ain't gots one... and that some that don't have one assume those with one are uppity. Understand? Me neither.

She/he is very understanding. Yeah? You wanna impress me? Stick him/her in a Portuguese restaurant and have 'em order a cheeseburger.

I go to Church's Fried chicken to get the same order 2-3 times a week. It's always $5.05. I no comprende, don't unnerstand why the guy on the speaker can pronounce the second 5, but not the first. "Fiye-oh-five please." I giggle every time. I don't understand giggle, but it happens. And.. it's a good thing. Good/bad, are different for all of us, I don't understand that.

Once, in high school, drove thru Dog N Suds, asked the gal that was taking my order out [I'd been wanting to go out with her for a long time] over the speaker thingy. I understood, by her red face when I got to the window, the speaker was very loud and everyone in the joint heard it. Oops. I understand "if looks could kill".. Oh well.

I don't understand how the guy with no legs had the guts, determination, mindset, training (with attached blades to his legs) to become a world class sprinter, then piss it all away horrifically (and take another's life). I don't understand horrific. I don't understand taking another's life. I don't understand war. I don't understand religionS. I no comprende disparity in CEO/worker bee wages. Victor, you're bouncing around allover the place, I don't understand where you're going with this.

Me neither. Understand? Begrijpen (Dutch), Razumeti (Serbian), समझना (Hindi), 理解して (Japanese), Compreender (Portuguese... and believe it or not, cheeseburger is cheeseburger in Portuguese, don't believe me, go to freetranslation.com.. I didn't understand it either.).. dnatsrednu (Backwards), puɐʇsɹǝpun (Upside down).. VIctor, I don't understand how you did that. Easy, google "how to type upside down." (Google understands everything)..


I don't Begrijpen (Dutch, remember) burning bridges. I don't understand the person that just quit work due to stress and how working compares to going to the mailbox to get water/gas/electric/trash/cable bills. I don't understand many of the things I'd never heard of years ago dominate my life today.. user ID/password. Online. Internet. Or intranet, I never understood which... apps.. pop-ups (they were things u put in the toaster years ago).. tweet.. Outlook (patooey!).. blog.. facebook.. "Victor, one day you will live on Facebook." Huh? I don't understand that.

I do understand old people are understood to be constant complainers. I don't understand whyinthehell IT types/companies/providers, make 'new and improved' changes, and it takes like 5 clicks more to get the same damn thing as before. Old/grump/understood.

I don't understand remote controls with 89 buttons. gigabytes... why, when my phone alarm goes off in the morning - half the time the snooze/dismiss option doesn't display. I have to take my case off, take the back of the phone off, and undo the battery. I don't 理解して that. (Japanese, remember?)

I don't understand a United States fulla Repubs and Dems who hate each other. (I understand KU-MU no likey).. I don't Razumeti (Serbian, remember?) why Jackie Robinson didn't hit back. I don't understand why some are born challenged. Why some leave all too soon. How someone can say "jeeesh, I can't wait until Friday" and moan/piss MTWT away. I don't understand why the Royals are either "the shit" or "shit" and there's no inbetween.

I loved Logic class in College with Dr. David. He'd say something like "If... then is only False when Then implies False, all other cases are true.... dig?" I dug how he said that, when rarely teachers actually asked that, they gave tests instead. Nomme, shake your head up/down, or sideways, lemme hear the rocks of understand/no comprende.

I don't understand when sometimes "hi" is not reciprocated. I do understand we're all different, and that sentence I just wrote should teach me I have no understanding of what's gone on, going on, in their life.

I don't quite understand everything my 32 month old granddaughter says, but understand I LOVE hearing her talk, and believe she understands what she's saying. I don't understand cruelty to children, spouses, people, animals.

I've rambled, and I understand many of you left paragraphs ago. Please understand - I am thankful for any eyeballs here - and if one, and only one smile ever happens here, then goal reached. Understood?

Love, Victurd.

Sometimes I don't have a clue what you're saying.

Comprende? Dig? Understand (rubber band)?

A many year friend recently wrote that ("don't have a clue") - and then showered with superlatives after. I love the word understand.... understand?

We all are of different medulla oblongata, different walks, different talks, colors, sizes, sexes, socioeconomics, backgrounds, climates, towns, frowns, smiles, whiles....

Lots I don't understand. Sushi, bleeeck.. My bloody English mate, and hell, they were speaking the language long before us. Española. Why birds don't get fried on power lines. Driving 70 and not being able to see the front bumper of the car seven feet behind. I don't understand God awful, and awfully good.

Hate. I hate hate. Victor, I don't understand that. Sorry.. I hate that. I don't understand flies, crickets, cicadas, moths, ants, raccoons (the little bastards), mice....

Anatomy and kinesiology (And I HAD to take that to graduate, get a degree.) I no comprende that some with degree look down on those that ain't gots one... and that some that don't have one assume those with one are uppity. Understand? Me neither.

She/he is very understanding. Yeah? You wanna impress me? Stick him/her in a Portuguese restaurant and have 'em order a cheeseburger.

I go to Church's Fried chicken to get the same order 2-3 times a week. It's always $5.05. I no comprende, don't unnerstand why the guy on the speaker can pronounce the second 5, but not the first. "Fiye-oh-five please." I giggle every time. I don't understand giggle, but it happens. And.. it's a good thing. Good/bad, are different for all of us, I don't understand that.

Once, in high school, drove thru Dog N Suds, asked the gal that was taking my order out [I'd been wanting to go out with her for a long time] over the speaker thingy. I understood, by her red face when I got to the window, the speaker was very loud and everyone in the joint heard it. Oops. I understand "if looks could kill".. Oh well.

I don't understand how the guy with no legs had the guts, determination, mindset, training (with attached blades to his legs) to become a world class sprinter, then piss it all away horrifically (and take another's life). I don't understand horrific. I don't understand taking another's life. I don't understand war. I don't understand religionS. I no comprende disparity in CEO/worker bee wages. Victor, you're bouncing around allover the place, I don't understand where you're going with this.

Me neither. Understand? Begrijpen (Dutch), Razumeti (Serbian), समझना (Hindi), 理解して (Japanese), Compreender (Portuguese... and believe it or not, cheeseburger is cheeseburger in Portuguese, don't believe me, go to freetranslation.com.. I didn't understand it either.).. dnatsrednu (Backwards), puɐʇsɹǝpun (Upside down).. VIctor, I don't understand how you did that. Easy, google "how to type upside down." (Google understands everything)..


I don't Begrijpen (Dutch, remember) burning bridges. I don't understand the person that just quit work due to stress and how working compares to going to the mailbox to get water/gas/electric/trash/cable bills. I don't understand many of the things I'd never heard of years ago dominate my life today.. user ID/password. Online. Internet. Or intranet, I never understood which... apps.. pop-ups (they were things u put in the toaster years ago).. tweet.. Outlook (patooey!).. blog.. facebook.. "Victor, one day you will live on Facebook." Huh? I don't understand that.

I do understand old people are understood to be constant complainers. I don't understand whyinthehell IT types/companies/providers, make 'new and improved' changes, and it takes like 5 clicks more to get the same damn thing as before. Old/grump/understood.

I don't understand remote controls with 89 buttons. gigabytes... why, when my phone alarm goes off in the morning - half the time the snooze/dismiss option doesn't display. I have to take my case off, take the back of the phone off, and undo the battery. I don't 理解して that. (Japanese, remember?)

I don't understand a United State fulla Repubs and Dems who hate each other. (I understand KU-MU no likey).. I don't Razumeti (Serbian, remember?) why Jackie Robinson didn't hit back. I don't understand why some are born challenged. Why some leave all too soon. How someone can say "jeeesh, I can't wait until Friday" and moan/piss MTWT away. I don't understand why the Royals are either "the shit" or "shit" and there's no inbetween.

I loved Logic class in College with Dr. David. He'd say something like "If... then is only False when Then implies False, all other cases are true.... dig?" I dug how he said that, when rarely teachers actually asked that, they gave tests instead. Nomme, shake your head up/down, or sideways, lemme hear the rocks of understand/no comprende.

I don't understand when sometimes "hi" is not reciprocated. I do understand we're all different, and that sentence I just wrote should teach me I have no understanding of what's gone on, going on, in their life.

I don't quite understand everything my 32 month old granddaughter says, but understand I LOVE hearing her talk, and believe she understands what she's saying. I don't understand cruelty to children, spouses, people, animals.

I've rambled, and I understand many of you left paragraphs ago. Please understand - I am thankful for any eyeballs here - and if one, and only one smile ever happens here, then goal reached. Understood?

Love, Victurd.

Hearts of gold...

I want to live,
I want to give
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.
It's these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

The older I get, the more I enjoy hearts of gold. I abhor conflict. With every waking day, the more repugnant shootings, acts of terror, sexual assaults, etc.- become.

If you're like me, as I/we age - and run into any act of 'ugly' (no matter the scale) I react like magnets repelling each other. Run away, scram, bootscoot, exit - stage left.

Give me the persistent smiles of friends like Mary, Ollie, Misty, Lynda, Terry, Jimmy, Kendra, Herbert (and many, many more.) Certain you've got friends like this as well. Red Rover red rover, send those friends (and more), and maybe Ray Charles, Buck O'Neil, Andy Griffith, Tom Hanks, Oprah, and let osmosis takeover.

I've been to Hollywood
I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean
for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind,
it's such a fine line
That keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

Old = choice, margin of error lessoned. Closed minded some might deem it, doesn't matter to me - 'poop' belongs in the restroom - and I choose to run from it any place else. Gimme the Sport's page (sans A-Rod/Braun, et al) and the FYI section, you can keep the main section that includes the atrocities.

Keep me searching
for a heart of gold
You keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm growing old.
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.

Life is too short to worry about the stare a stranger might give. Thought a fool/speak, remove all doubt. Winging 'ugly' leaves scars. Growing old, the skin tends to resemble that of an alligator - all the better/thicker to deter yuck.

We are all human, imperfect - yuck happens, and sure, occasionally perpetuated by our own selves. Nonetheless, I believe we're basically all miners for a heart of gold.

Love, Victurd

Do overs....

Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair
Maybe I'll move somewhere
Maybe I'll get a car
Maybe I'll drive so far
They'll all lose track

Victor, are you going to do two blogs in a row on the same topic?

Mebbe. Seems we're amidst the "Get it right" era. MLB announcing they too will use Instant Replay to make corrections. Home makeovers. Body makeovers. Wrong turns, U-turns. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Me, I'll bounce right back
Maybe I'll sleep real late
Maybe I'll lose some weight
Maybe I'll clear my junk
Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow bring me way down

Life with pen... not pencil/eraser.

Whiffle ball, circa 1961. Eight youths, most wearing jeans adorned with patches to cover the holes in the knees from past slides - sweating, living, loving - playing as if it were the 9th inning and we were Mantle... Maris.. Musial.. Mays... Aaron.. Gipson... Ford.. Berra... "OUT!".. "No, he was SAFE!".. "WAS NOT".. "WAS TOO".. With no umpires, after a heated profanity-less argument - it was mutually agreed - a "do over" was in order.

Ill be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow get me way down

Buddy at a bar the other day... "Wouldn't you give anything to be 18 again and have it to do allover?" Eh, I dunno, at age 60, I'm pretty tired! That sounds like work!

Little League World Series yesterday. Canada vs. Czech Republic. 1-0, Czech. Kid from Canada slides in home... cloud of dust.. "Yyyyyeerrrr OUT!"... Canadian coach disagreed. Home plate ump retreated to the dugout for a TV review... walks back out... extends his arms to give the "Safe" sign.. 1-1. Three pitches later, same thing. Kid slides in home.. "Yyyyyeerrrr OUT!"... Disagreed. Ump to dugout. Walks back out.. Smile/smirk on his face.. extends arms... "Safe"..

That's me, kinda. Do it all over again to get it right? Smile/smirk on face. Nah - it's been a great ride. Besides... I woulda never attended game 7 of the 1985 World Series. (Thanks DD).. No Solly Hemus, Billy Martin chin to chin with the ump.. I woulda never had the son I love. (Thanks MJTWBSL...sorry,an inside joke)..

Hey, maybe I'll learn to sew
Maybe I'll just lie low
Maybe I'll hit the bars
Maybe I'll count the stars until dawn
Me, I will go on

But Victor... you could have that 32" waistline you aspire to have. Nah, but thanks. Gimme a 300 burger.. some pulled pork... topped off by a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos.. downed with a 12-ouncer of MBL.

But Victor, that 401K perhaps wouldn't be 'laughable".. You are SO right on that, but nah.. I'm 60.. too tired to 'do over', attempt to get it right. I'll continue on, opting for "Always Save" (not really, next best thing, "Best Choice").. used cars with check engine lights.. and "The Beast" actually tastes pretty good to me.

Maybe I'll settle down
Maybe I'll just leave town
Maybe I'll have some fun
Maybe I'll meet someone
And make him mine
Me, I'll be just

Fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow bring me way down

But Victor, you wouldn't have that scar under your eye where Jimmy Couch threw that bone at you.. and remember that time you ran to the front door, put your hand out as if to stiff-arm the glass door, you lost, the glass won and you got that scar inside your elbow? Yeah, I remember both - but it's life/memories from cherished times.

Scars from words said/heard.. Unfortunately, they're in ink. Can't be undone.

Ill be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow bring me way down

There's no going back to the 50's/60's.. and getting it any better.. How could you improve upon Matt Dillon, Hoss, Ben, Lil Joe, Andy, Barney, Opie, Here's Johnny.. Whiffle ball, kick the can, Chief's autographs when they're spotted in Safeway.. China, Archie, Ace, Grundy, Mabel, Stevick, Nail, Franklin, Ridgeview, LHS... not to mention the greatest musical era - ever. Yes, ever.

Ill be fine and dandy
Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But still I wont let
Sorrow bring me way down

And WHAT to top the 70's/80's? Nicholson, Stallone, Gould/Sutherland, Streisand, Here's a story, of a man named Brady.. Royal's teams that won, often.. Archie/Edith.. Sigma Nu/WJC.. Childbearing/raising.. Personal wants/needs moved to the backseat.

Cause I'll be fine
(Ill be fine)
Oh, I'll be fine

And being 40, 50, 60? Do over? Nah, I'm too tired from all the fun I've had. I enjoy every wrinkle I've 'earned.'

But... but... but you could pick a different career? A different mate? Expand your friend base.. Not have to work into your 70's (the good Lord willing).. You could go back and buy NEW CARS instead?

I'm too tired. Me, I personally find water going under the bridge settling, calming, enjoyable. I don't think I ever scored 100 on a 'test' anyways.. No do over needed. I (and I hope you too) have loved life - even if the shirt occasionally bore an 'irregular' tag.. the choice was not the best.. missed answers on a test.

I've been fine and dandy. Whilst sure, the memories fade - blessed with "Instant reply" of life, past events, family/friends, jobs in my head.

"Yyyyyeerrrr OUT!"... Yeah.. you're right ump, I was. Too tired for a do over/replay.. .. nice call. Nice life.

Love, Victurd.

With every who I meet...

I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
I'd of said the right thing
But I must have used the wrong line
I been in the right trip
But I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a bad place
And I'm wondering what it's good for

Topsy turvy this world can be. Highs, lows. Sickness, health. Choices, good/bad. Hot/cold. Fast, slow. Money, lack thereof. Happy.. and sure, sadness occasionally comes to everyone. Tears, good, bad & sad. Words, wonderful, occasionally hurtful. Thankfully, life/happy seemingly wins out.

I been the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
My head was in a bad place
But I'm having such a good time
I been running trying to get hung up in my mind
Got to give myself a little talking to this time

As I moved recently, from a 3 bedroom house to an apartment.... filled a 20 cube dumpster with 'that time'... Sad? Eh, nah. You live for years and don't see/forget treasures within your own household. Some things though, once treasured, not so much any longer. Did run across one very nice treasure, spared it from the dumpster...

Just need a little brain salad surgery
Got to cure this insecurity
I been in the wrong place
But it must have been the right time
I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong song
I been in the right vein
But it seems like the wrong arm
I been in the right world
But it seems wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

An 8 by 10 framed picture. My mother had a massive stroke at age 57... Her left side was afflicted. The doctor termed it "if you could imagine wearing a pair of glasses, and them having a patch over the lefthand side of each lens." Handwritten, completely on the right side of this framed piece of notebook paper, is "The secret to success in life is how one deals with Plan B." Prophetic.

Slipping, dodging ,sneaking
Creeping hiding out down the street
See me life shaking with every who I meet
Refried confusion is making itself clear
Wonder which way do I go to get on out of here

Childhood. High School. College. Work. Marriage. No, it ain't been perfect, but it's been pretty damn good, even awesome.. Am I envious of a chum who retires after a long, long career at the same job? No. I'm elated for them. My own vagabond tour has afforded me meeting, working with so many wonderful people. Am I jealous of a couple that's still together after all these years? For heaven's sake, no - I graciously applaud them and am thankful I've gotten the opportunity to observe... and I'm thankful for the time (and mates) I was lucky enough to be coupled.

I been in the right place
But it must have been the wrong time
I'd have said the right thing
But I must have used the wrong line
I'd a took the right road
But I must have took a wrong turn
Would have made the right move
But I made it at the wrong time
I been on the right road
But I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a good place
And I wonder what it's bad for

Buck O'Neil is one of my all-time heroes. Perhaps the most positive thinking person ever. You know the story - he played in the Negro Baseball league in a racially divided country - and was never afforded the opportunity to play in the Major Leagues (although he was the first African American to coach in the Majors.. ) The title of his book recounting it all? "I was right on time."

I am extremely grateful for every role model that's ever helped mold this goofy brain. Thanks mom. Thanks Buck. Yeah, even you too Dr. John. I been in the right place. Love, Victurd.

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I'm old. Not old enough to have seen the worst, but I'm old enough to have seen sickening. Callaway County Courthouse, four restrooms, white men, colored men, white women, colored women.

I seen you 'round for a long long time
I really 'membered you when you drink my wine

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I'm old enough to remember the local theater had a main floor, and a balcony, and if you weren't white, you couldn't sit on the main floor.

I seen you walkin' down in Chinatown
I called you but you could not look around

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I think I remember (I very well could be wrong on the timing/actuality) our local swimming pool wouldn't allow anyone but white folks to swim, but of course, if the athletic skills of 'others' were great, "yes, you can play on our high school (football/basketball/wrestling) team, but no, you still can't swim here."

I bring my money to the welfare line
I see you standing in it every time

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

The recent "Sports Center" story of the racial slur by the Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver sickens me. I abhor, hate, vomit, at any kind of discrimination.

The color of your skin don't matter to me
As long as we can live in harmony

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I get upset when anyone who isn't of Indian descent bemoans an 'intruder' to our country. I am of German, Irish, English, Indian descent. We all came/come from somewhere. Get over it. Are you special because you speak English and I don't? F that.

I'd kinda like to be the President
so I can show you how your money's spent

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Anytime I read/see/hear discrimination, I have this great urge to relate to those discriminated against "NO!!!!! WE DON'T ALL FEEL THAT WAY!" People are people, screw grouping due to race, creed, size, age, economic status, heritage, etc.

Sometimes I don't speak too bright
but yet I know what I'm talking about

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Long about the time I entered school (circa 1956), segregation had thankfully ended. I was lucky. I grew up with friends (every color), family, that stressed/demonstrated equality. No, it wasn't yet perfect, but we youths thankfully learned the right way.

I know you're working for the CIA
they wouldn't have you in the Mafia

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

I honestly think sometimes, if I were black, or very aged, or very obese, Asian, Hispanic, dreadfully poor, mentally impaired.... I might be dead now due to retribution.

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

On behalf of all mankind, if you've ever been on the receiving end of discrimination, I apologize. Please know I (and the very very very large majority of folks) love you, and I'm sorry.

Love, Victurd