I just took off my shoes... used my toes and fingers to determine, this is the 1,168th blog I've ever written.
The very first was written on July 3rd, 2005, which oddly, is my only child's birthday.
Thus far, I'm up to 3 'followers', which translates to - by the time I'm 80, at three every six years, I should have 13.5 readers. And, when you think of being age 80-something, it very much makes the .5 all that more understandable.
Radiators? Symbolic, to me, of life and how we handle, go through. You can go down I-435 at 70 MPH, run like the wind, but, if you overheat, have too much pressure, you're suddenly on the side of the road... cussing, frustrated, that 'something' an inch and a half thick could play such a large role in your transit...
I liken radiators to crying. (NO Victor, not another blog on crying! Many already think you're one'a the wimpiest here already, and if you keep it up, they may even accuse you of being a Fiji insteada a Sigma Nu!)...
Sorry... it's me.
Our radiator, we never think of, until there are problems. We don't think much about problems, until we cry.
Most radiators, there's a release valve. Same thing in life. Our person. Occasionally, we haveta pull that car over to the side'a the road, open the hood, lift the release valve... relieve the pressure.
Life, when 'weird' things happen... self pity... things not going exactly as ur damn daily horoscope indicated it would... tail tucked between legs due to something offensive/hurtful said about you by one.. a loved one, speaking prior to thinking about what they were about to say...
We overheat. We blow a gasket. We spew. We sit on the side of the road not knowing whereinthehell to turn next.
We go through a visitation line.. we meet up with the 80-something year old father of one'a your best friends, who's just lost his spouse of 60+ years - the thermostat gauge is going nutso, you try not to allow the radiator cap to blow - you get past... walk a bit.. and then you spew... u basically lose it.
That's feel. And feel is/can be a very good hurt/feel good thing.
Of course, there's also the very good cry, and about all I can correlate that to a radiator is having the damned thermostat finally kick in to spread warmth allover you, the interior of the car.
Simple looms large on this. Could be simply watching your grand kid. Could be watching your kid watch your grand kid. Could be seeing a friend in a proud moment. Could be listening to the radio when they give a Military member in need a free car. (Damnit Victor, you sap.. I've seen you crying twelve times driving down Highway 71 this past year listening to that radio station as they do that.)
Could be a moment... where you simply stop and think about nuclear family, or extended family.. they're now gone... and, you well up, not so much in self-pity, but more - thankfully - that you've got these great memories embedded in your brain - you wanna shout/share, but simply when these mems surface to the forefront of your brain - it's a well up kinda thing. It's ok radiator, we've got more coolant for replacement.
Crying is feeling, and can be an appreciation for 'what once was'.. Victor, you've said that before. I don't care. You can't steal my past. You can't alter my past. You can't make me think differently about my past. My past is my present - and if that occasionally means having the radiator overheat - so be it.
Pressure. Life puts us into moments of pressure. We each react differently. I could give a rat's ass if anyone knew, upon occasion, I was lead to tears. I would also love to relate (and i promise to try into the future to do so) when I see happy, good, OMG, that makes me well up - and want to relate that to the ones making me elated.
I've rambled, sorry. Gauge past mid-point of cold to hot. I get on FB, read some of the things people write, sometimes think "Why? Whyinthehell do you air your dirty laundry here?"..........
Then, I blog, and probably do the damn same myself. I reckon don't care tonight. Have keyboard, will type.
Check ur fluids often. Keep a fitty-fitty mix. Know, "hey, sometimes overheat happens." I personally hope you are able to cry in good times and bad. In good, triumphantly, and in bad, hopefully remembering to simply 'feel' can be a very good, therapeutic thing.
Finger on the release valve, love, Victurd
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