In the beginning...

 I like to write. Sorry, not sorry.  Turn left, you no likey to read.

The thought when I sat down was to write a book.  That's a joke son, as most of my writing junk is thanks to plagiarism, and the joke might be on you because sometimes (not often, but sometimes) you laugh.  Laughter is a goal.  Remember?  Today: Pandemic. Russia.  North Korea.  Those Middle East places of conflict. Fake News. Raging Facebook arguments. Mask, no mask, Fauci Rocks, Fauci Sucks, you get the idea. We're in Liberty, we needs levity.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, Chapter One, 1952 (or thereabouts 'back in the day' if you're close in age.)

I sat down, Googled a buncha stuff about back then. I have an entire 8 and 1/2 by 11 sheet of notebook paper with my horrible writing allover it.  I'll try to cipher best I can.

Birth.  There were many of us back then.  The War was over, the economic prospectus was good, folks doinked, kids were born. Baby Boomers they call us.

Most of us during that time suffered immensely from repeated but unintentional diaper pin sticks.  Cloth diapers, yuck.  If ya had a load (sorry) the diaper would sink to your ankles.  Worse, they were probably hand me downs from your brother, or yet even worse, your sister.  Not only did they pin prick us, they had the gall, once we were dressed and ready to go, to stick us on the bench seat of the station wagon sans seatbelt ('cause they weren't invented yet.)  I'm still here, you're still here, WHEW!

It didn't take long once all the maternity wards started filling up for folks to think "Holy crap, what was I thinking?" - Thus, this was the year "The Pill" was invented.

We were lucky. Two outta three of our moms stayed at home with us, and after peeking at the annual wages of men ($2,570) and women ($953) we can kinda see why.

There was no greener grass, ie, folks just didn't get divorced.  Social pressure, scorn. Ya marry, ya stay married. Not like today when a hangnail could cause it, or, "wow, he/she sure is attractive", or "I'll be damned if I'm driving a Chevy, I'm leaving you in my Ford, seeya."  Or something like that nowadays, many reasons. Back then, only 9.3% of the homes had a single parent.

We ate meals together, as in three of 'em a day. One had to put on a Halloween costume to rob the cookie jar before dinner because all we ever heard was "NO, you'll ruin your appetite!"

Today, many have a 55" TV in the den, bedrooms with 40"ers and I even have on buddy, in the john of his man cave, he has an actual urinal, WITH a TV just above it so you don't miss a down, inning, Super Bowl TV Commercial.

Nada, back then, one TV - and it was black and white.  We watched game shows as a family. Ed always had a really big show, and Dinah saw the USA. Can you imagine having six kids, one TV and usually it was mom or dad's choice? We'd never hear the end of it today. (Not to mention one phone in the house, and it was stationary.)

Our folks shook their heads at the gyrations of a 21 yr old Elvis, Chuck played Maybelline, and Johnny walked the line.

Once again, divorce simply didn't happen, but it was disconcerting when  we heard little Jimmy Boyd sing I Saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus and it was viral (3 million) before we heard of viral.

We didn't get color TV's until we were old enough to talk, ie, commercially released in 1954, but realistically not in our homes until the 60's.  I remember, pre-color TV, my paw bought a vinyl-plastic sheet thing that he placed over the TV to make it look like it was living color.  Wasn't.  Oh, back then, we too were the remote, as well as the mirror holder in fronta the TV when dad changed a tube.

Should we have awoken at 3am and snuck down to the living room, there was no Jerry Springer, Friends, The Good Feet Store, Dr. Phil, Larry King selling something, there was a TEST PATTERN.  ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

It was a time of many firsts. Holiday Inn.  The Today show. Passenger jets, Barbie, and we can never forget Mr. Potato head. Many screeches were heard from folks stepping on Mr. Potato head parts way the hell before Legos were envisioned. Every kid on earth had a bike and roller skates.

Diamonds were a girl's best friend..  moms wore dresses to town, the market, anywhere, and slacks at home.  Usually, jewelry stayed on the entire day. Girls wore saddle oxfords, HA HA!

We musta stunk because ban roll ons were invented (probably those droopy diapers again.) Mom would reheat leftovers in a microwave, that is, if she was rich because they cost $1200 back then.

Speaking of those droopy diapers, I can think of one reason why.  Only 63% of the homes had plumbing - and can you imagine the tykester, during a 12" snowstorm at 9pm spouting "mom, I gotta go poop." Scroll to ban roll on.

Ike won.  Russia scared us.  Next to the outhouses, many of us had bomb shelters in the backyard.

It was a Go West time,(no, not Horace Greeley) but a Go West, or East, or North, or South, to the suburbs were we can have more land. 

OK, I've run out of fun things to write about back then.  OK, I know, the above really wasn't funny, BUT.. I've got almost a quarter of a page of my notebook paper left and I haven't even begun to write about that stuff, and it WAS funny.  Or so I think.  I can't read my writing.

Be sure to tune in next time, same bat chann... no, that ain't it. Same I Love Lucy, Arthur Godfrey, $64,000 question, Gunsmoke channel... where Chapter 2 will be entitled:

Taking the training wheels off....

Love, Victurd