Right place, wrong time....

I been in the right place but it must have been the wrong time
I'd have said the right thing but I must have used the wrong line
I been in the right trip but I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a bad place and I'm wondering what it's good for
I been the right place but it must have been the wrong time
My head was in a bad place but I'm having such a good time

Ain't life grand? We spend our entire life trying to 'get it right', 'do it right', and gump happens. So does good though, lots. Recently, I copied some beautiful blogger lady's blog on "You WIll Never Be Finished: Find Peace by Enjoying Were You Are..." Wow Dr. John, we needed that!

In her story, she related visiting with her 80 year old grandmother:“I wish I could do it all over again,” grandma said on her 60th wedding anniversary.
“Really?” Granddaughter asked.
A small smile crossed her face as she replied, “Yes. Because when you enjoy your life—when you really enjoy your life—it just goes by so fast. I wish I could go back and do it all again.”

Nuttin' about regrets, woulda shoulda coulda, right place, wrong time.

So, me being the idiot I am, emailed the blogger. I related a story (I've told here before, sorry, kinda) from when I was in the Dr. John scrambled mode (recently divorced) - went out with a way-too-young for me lady.. had asked her "What are you looking for?" - in a nutshell, she related, "well.. I was working in ER.. there was a little lady in her 80's that was having some severe heart issues. In fact, we 'lost her' three times that night. Each and every time, the doctor would go to the waiting room to confer/update the little lady's elderly husband. Finally, she expired. Doc went out, related same. Without saying a word, the gent go up, walked into the ER room where she lay, pulled back the sheet over her, kissed her cheek, covered her back up, and walked out. THAT, that's what I want."

Ok, the blogger lady emailed me back, said she enjoyed the story then shared "Destination = a beautiful, tender, loving partnership. How shall we get there? Don't know, but I'll tell you what the journey looked like when I arrive."

So maybe the right place, the right time, ain't all that important.

I been running trying to get hung up in my mind
Got to give myself a good talking-to this time
Just need a little brain salad surgery
Got to cure this insecurity....

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh insecurity - a blog for another day - but I can't begin to share with you all the people I've met (on the outside, VERY "right place, right time" folks) who've struggled with insecurity. My own personal pity party on more than one occasion has related to me "Insecurity? Yeah?" and I reply with "Hell yeah, two failed marriages, neither one I desired to end." Let's just say, if you struggle with insecurity - there are some wonderful, wonderful sites that magically pop up when you Google "Low self esteem" (or whatever struggle you're dealing with.) I dunno if I'm right place, right time (thankfully happy to relate my life is the best it's been for a long, long time) - but, thanks to Google, within my brain I've some learned tools to combat the sinister thoughts that creep in, try to take the wheel of life. Sure, I slip, but learning/understanding me through self help articles has REALLY helped me, I encourage same for you.

I been in the wrong place but it must have been the right time
I been in the right place but it must have been the wrong song
I been in the right vein but it seems like the wrong arm
I been in the right world but it seems wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.....

Funny, kinda. I just had a minor medical procedure. They hadta give me a shot in the booty for antibiotic purpose. She noticed I'd limped in.."yeah, my hip has been buggin' me"... "Which one?".. "The left".. "Ok, we'll give the shot on the other side.. now it's going to hurt for a couple days." "Good, that'll balance out the pain." Hehe. Right vein, right cheek.

Slipping dodging sneaking creeping hiding out down the street
See me life shaking with every ho' I meet
Refried confusion is making itself clear
Wonder which way do I go to get on out of here..

Right place, wrong thong. This story doesn't fit here, but, that's what makes blogging so damn special. Kinda like being old, one can do any damn thing they please! A friend recently related a story of another friend and her hubby. They were to celebrate their 25th anniversary at a fancy dancy hotel. She'd purchased this really cool, shear negligee, and told him to "get a black thong." Drum roll... That night, she was awaiting him in bed.. out of the bathroom he comes... wearing...... wearing........ wearing... black flip-flops (thongs). With apologies to my family for cursing, I shit you not this is true. Right place, wrong thong (and he was serious, didn't know any better.)

I been in the right place but it must have been the wrong time
I'd have said the right thing but I must have used the wrong line
I'd have took the right road but I must have took a wrong turn
Would've made the right move but I made it at the wrong time
I been on the right road but I must have used the wrong car
My head was in a good place and I wonder what it's bad for

Live is fulla wrong turns, wrong roads, wrong moves, wrong veins, wrong place, wrong thongs... sinister thoughts trying to take over...

Still, it's pretty damn good.......... if we allow it to be.

Love, Victurd.

The moody blues......

Good day + good day = a couple'a good days yeah?

Simple ain't it? Well.... no, it really isn't. (This is a recording, I write to me, for me, hitchhikers welcome.)

One bad day plus one bad day equals two bad days. When one has a bad day - awakens the next - predetermined another bad day is in store? If one believes it, it'll happen. Does it have to? Are the odds in favor of it? Mebbe, but huh uh, doesn't have to be.

In this day and age of "a video for everything", my all-time favorite was one entitled "Having a bad day?".. Twas a mom bringing a birthday cake to her son. Car pulls over, she gets dropped off/out, loses her balance, falls in a ditch. Drenched in mud, she stumbles back to her feet, cake, halfway off the platter - car pulls away, her dress is caught in the door, strips her." Maybe ya hadta be there - cracked me up - but it's one I go back to/watch frequently. With age, bad days are thankfully fewer and fewer - but they still can happen...

Perfection. Daily, I read the morning paper, and I always enjoy looking to see who, in our local area, has gotten a hole-in-one, or, bowled a 300 game. Upon occasion, I recognize the name. Knew the bowler a few days back. Yep, a 300. Perfection. He also had a nice series - something like 300, 278, 279. Damn near perfect, yet, it wasn't. Something happened within those two games that just wasn't right. Still damn good? You bet, and such is the nature of life. Life, like bowling, golfing, ain't perfect - but it's still pretty damn yummy.

We 'attack' each day, each frame, each golf hole with the same intent - perfection. Rare that it happens. When it does, ohhhh yes, OH BABY OH BABY - but, reality reminds us "life is rarely perfect, but it's often pretty damn good."

1 + 1 = 2. One bad day doesn't have to turn into two bad days. Make one good day turn into two good days. Life ain't perfect Victor, understand that, thus, it may still be perfect for you.

We haven't any say in the forecast - but we can help predict the mood, the tempo, the day - by our behaviors, thoughts, beliefs and expectations. If we anticipate unruly hair, bad traffic, meals not cooked to perfection, disliking the words that will come outta other's mouths - odds are great for split ends, that we'll find ourselves going 35 in a 65 mph zone and - no tip due to an undercooked sandwich - and maybe even verbally snapping back at a friend, lover, family member, coworker.

Doesn't have to be that way. Visualize good. Believe in mankind. If other's words cause tummy aches - throw a Rolaid on your life, attitude - or, disassociate. If it rains, grab an umbrella. If there's frost on the windshield - grab the long johns and that big fluffy hat you never getta wear. Put your big pants on. Gotta frown? Stand on your head.

Odds ain't great for a hole in one (or hole in one/eagle) on two consecutive holes. A 300 is rarely followed by a 300. A bad day can be followed by a bad day - but normally, that's our call.

1 + 1, believed/anticipated/perceived 'bad' day + believed/anticipated/perceived 'bad' day can lead to many. Jump outta the way of 'muck'. Hop over 'patooey'. Swim to the shore and outta the river of gloom/doom.

Make it good + good = 2 days of good. If golf ain't your game, find another game. If you need the gutter bumpers - chances are bowling ain't either. If the day sucks, make the next day better - that's within our determination. If it entails, Bruce Weber, Kim Anderson, Ned Yost - changing the line up - by all means, have at. If not, stay the course - life's a battle, winning can happen (and be very rewarding) in the long run - but it certainly doesn't have to be predetermined consternation.

Disregard moody blues, rather listen to the music. 1 happy day + 1 happy day is 2 happy days. Tee it up. Get in your stance. In bowling, golf and life, it's all about the approach. Happy day, love, Victurd

Spark.....

Fun word.

The other day, to my 1999 Grand Marquis Check Engine Light car (the previous owner, tired of being blinded at night by the continuous glow of the check engine light, placed electrical tape over it to hide it's 'grandeur').... so.. out to start the day - list of things to do going thru my brain..... Get in car, which, at age 62 is an event in and of itself.. (Speakinowhich, any of you other old farts go to Piggly Wiggly, get out of car, struggle, lose balance, laugh, turn to see if anyone saw that? Uh huh, didn't think I was alone. Who woulda ever thunk getting in/out of car would one day be considered exercise?)

So....... I turn the key...... nothing. Absolutely nothing. Worse things happen - sure. There was no spark to the motor. Alternator? Starter?.. Being my non-mechanical self, I opened the hood - aha.. There was so much gunk built up on the connectors to the terminal ends - yuck. So... I find the right sized wrench (15th one I tried worked, par for my course).. and, I proceeded to break the connecter as I tried loosening it.

Hitched a ride to auto parts store.. new connector.. pulled off the old one.. cleaned all the crap off the cable.. replaced.. probably got enough crap on coat, shirt, jeans there was decent certainty they'd soon be holy, pitched in the trash.

Turned the key - yum. Spark. Started.

Spark: something that sets off a sudden force. Sparky Griswold invoked laughter in Christmas Vacation. Sparky Anderson incited ire from umpires. Kid comes off bench, sparks a rally. The smile (spark) of the coworker that help make Monday mornings bearable. The reciprocal spark between a couple.

Sure. Some could care less if they were ever considered a spark, and hey, that's cool. I'd bet though - deep down - even they are boosted, lifted when around, immersed with others who "set off a sudden (good) force"..

One of my favorite things to do is people watch. I love seeing spark. Infants, little tots, youth, hounds, cats, and yes, even the spark from old farts. Recently, article in Kansas City Star relating how two 99 year olds kept up their marriage for 81 years (the National record holders).. She said “I always let him have my way!” Aha, she's sparky - thus the sparkle in his eye for her (and sure, vice versa.)

Last night. Fire pit. Screen over the top. Didn't stop sparks from popping out. I wasn't a Boy Scout, so I'd never heard the phrase "Smoke follows beauty." (For SOME reason, it never got in my eyes.).. Sparks unite friends.

Something that sets off a sudden force. I prefer to think of spark in the positive sense. Eyes wide open. Lucky in life. Emotions perked by the sparks that are specific to the nature of things we treasure.

When I think of spark I think of fun. Laughter. Rejuvenation. Come alive. Surprise. Uppers (and again, no, not the artificial kind).. Positive life jolts. 'Regular ole regular' daily jolts. Sparks turn the corners of the mouth up.

Brain freeze just now. Sparks the end of blog today. May your human battery terminals be (clean and) sparked daily, so that you roll on in life with smiles - even if your check engine light is eternally lit as mine is. Happy day - love, Victurd.

Tranquility.. Debbie Downer.. and "Google that."

Google is my friend. I'm somewhat stoked by the fact I'm 62 and I don't know all about me, life, lotta things. So, I Google a lot. It's been a really nice self help thingy - and, of course Google is the many versatile tool we use to find Pizza Hut's #, what Bo Jackson's career batting average was, and how to fix the chain that broke on the ceiling fan.

Google knows most everything - just ask Snopes.

But... How many gosh darn times does one have to tell you, you CAN'T start a sentence with BUT.... Yeah, I know.. but they also say you can't use the combo "I is" to start a sentence. HA:

I is the 9th letter of the alphabet. Stick that up your Funk and Wagnall. Ahm, Victor, Funk and Wagnall went by the wayside long ago with pagers, the want ads, cassette tapes, Blockbuster, and now Radio Shack. Google, has replaced all that.

But.. (GEESH)... But, today I Googled "how do you handle it when life is good" - swing and a miss. The mighty Google has struck out. Nuttin, nada, huh uh. (Well, that's a baby lie as it turns out there's a line of clothing called Life is Good - but no suggestions on "what do I do when life is good?")

Debbie Downer. I've never known a Debbie I didn't like, and I don't really understand the connotation other than it runs off the tongue pretty freely. Occasionally I run these goofy blogs across my brain - and it seems there's a pretty common theme of (teaching myself) "what to do when life ain't perfect." Debbie Downer antidote, so to speak. Again, apologies to any Debbies.

Fortunately, sometimes life is (even if only temporarily) pretty damn fantastic. Tranquil. Right. Calm. Smiley. Happy. Light. Fun. Carefree. Howinthehell does one handle that (no thanks to Google.)???

I ain't real sure. They say "You can't let the highs get too high and you can't let the lows get too low." Well, I understand the not getting too low on the lows (thanks Debbie Downer White Out for reminding me).. but whythehell not enjoy/immerse/love/treasure the highs?

It's known, gump will eventually happen, always does, is a trade off.. predictable.. even Google agrees (just ask Snopes).

If it's sitting by the ocean... or on a porch listening to the wind pleasure through the trees.. with a loved one, or a treasured friend - we know the feel, the moment, the place, the happening, won't last forever - but what's wrong with getting too high during the highs? (And no, no reference to any artificial induced state here)..

Song said "Been down so long it looked like up to me".. so stay up mebbe, whilst you're there. Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do..

Thanks Pharrell, good idea.

Fleeting, all. Treasure the moment, I think I once heard. Cherish is the word. It's that wonderful time/moment when one can say "Screw you flat tire.. dead battery.. whiney coworker.. Monday morning.. overdraft.. under appreciation.. stubbed toe.. sore (hip, back, leg, muscle, demeanor)... check engine light."

When it's least expected...... sometimes the check engine light goes off. It's your lucky day.. enjoy/immerse/be happy/get UP... smile.. cause it ain't on Google's camera.

That's whatsUP. Love, Victurd.

Black Ice.....

(To me, for me, hitchhikers welcome)

Driving.. walking.. waking.. living.. interacting.. life.. All seems AOK, full steam ahead – no cause for alarm, “Feeling all right”.. It sneaks up. Transparent – yet extremely dangerous.

Could be a loved one. Could be an acquaintance. Could be you – me. Of times, masked. “I would have never guessed.” “Seems so happy though.” “Him?”.. “HER?”.. “Just when things were to the point of perfection.” “Damn, here we go again.”

If it’s another – be there. How do you know? If you are not certain ‘fer sure’ if one’s life is clouded by black ice – chances are it is. Little things loom large. A note – a smile – a phone call.. perhaps even a text. Care. Just care. Just show you care. In times of need, we ask less. In times when we need fresh air, life, camaraderie – we cocoon.

Differing scales.. Some very, very deep, dark – consistently. Others, momentarily, but just as dark. Some ‘show’: cry, have a hard time verbalizing, clam up… Others, not so transparent - burst into tears… go into lockdown. Same answer, care. Say you do. Do.

What if it’s you/me traversing life’s black ice? Try your/our hardest to switch thoughts from “what’s wrong” to “what’s right.” Much. Much is right. No, not perfect – but no matter our problem, dilemma, black ice – there is always one worse off.

Open the eyeballs – envision life’s past and what’s been important. A very good portion of that is within arm’s reach. A few gallons of gas away. Probably even in the same area code. Remember them. Love them. When the last thing you want to do is make a phone call, put on clothes, get in car, go see – make a phone call, put on clothes, get in car, go see.

Down? Try something ‘up’ for another. There’s no feel good like giving a feel good. Sometimes even simply saying “thanks” lifts.

Black ice is not something that only happens in winter, at 32 degrees and below. Black ice in life is all over, in every month, every temp – in many a household. Loved ones, friends, acquaintances.

Defensive driving in ‘life’ ain’t a bad idea. Eyes wide open, alert. Life’s problems oft times come across as transparent. Use a keen eye. Love. Love, Victurd.