Aging has made me take notice....

The body, 'she' changes. I had an ole' Chrysler LeBaron.. Sat so low to the ground, getting in and out was an experience in and of itself. In fact, I kinda felt entitled, like I didn't have to go to the gym that day 'cause I'd already had my exercise simply getting behind the wheel and back out. I 'talk' to my body as I 'tumble' in/out, but it hasn't listened, paid attention, behaved for some ten years now. As I bend, twist, gyrate - balance sometimes goes - and I'm forced to simply laugh - like, "oh shit, I hope no one saw that!"..

Same thing with undies. Huh? VICTOR!!!! No, for real, it's never happened to you? You put your right foot in... you raise the left leg, but age doesn't allow you to cooperate and place it inside, so again, the balance goes - and you find yourself hop-hop-hopping the old age hop on one foot (naked) - your hand eventually finds a wall for balance. Not a good "selfie" moment, but - you giggle and realize, age has made me take notice.

You go into a large store, you know, like WalMart, or Piggly Wiggly.. you see sooooo many younger folks, you take it upon yourself to "by god, I'm gonna walk aisle by aisle until I see someone older than me." You eventually end up in the Lawn and Garden department, remember you live in an apartment - and ask yourself "now what in the hell was I looking for?" Age has made me take notice, notice?

You walk around a corner at work, a coworker pops outta nowhere, so you swerve, scrape your arm on a door jam mildly - wake up the next day and you've got a 4" by 6" black and blue thing on your arm that looks like you just left the ring from an MMA battle.

Like a good boy, you attend the optional health screening thing at work. BP, a little blood taken, and finally height, weight, and waist measurement. One, I've shrunk. Two, I weigh more, but "by god, my pants ARE, and always have been, a 36".. "You don't need to measure my waist ma'am, it's been a 36 for eons" I think to myself. But she does anyways.. "HEY WAIT! YOU'RE MEASURING AROUND MY BELLY BUTTON, NOT MY WAIST" I yell, to myself. "Ok, 41" sir." CRAP!.. Age has made me take notice.

To Do lists, Pocket organizers, IPad reminders, have been reduced to "Eh, I'll do that tomorrow." One of the nicer things about old age, choice of what one does. I call it the (close your ears) "I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks, when I do (or don't) get it done - my pace." Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week - borrowing from Frank, "I did it my way."

Flatulence happens. OUTTA NOWHERE! Walking across the room at work (on this the fourth trip to the john this morning) and flatulence (audible to 6 nearby coworkers) happens. You giggle. Scrape your heel on the tile in hopes of fooling coworkers, continue on, and realize, age has made me take notice.

Inchlong eyebrow hairs. Half inch hairs protruding from your ear lobe. I HATE GOOD LIGHTING! Embarrassed, you clip, pull, giggle, and realize, age has made me take notice.

Watching friends, loved ones in health battles - at least ONE area of my life I've cleaned up. I eat better, wiser. But, mebbe once a week, I cheat. A Snicker's bar, yum. That all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet @ HyVee - HEY, it takes awhile to read the Sunday paper, I might as well be busy eh? It kinda feels like I'm getting away with something.. Like driving to an 18 bar in HS, or mebbe skipping 7th hour and not getting caught. Age, has made me juvenile in some ways. I've taken notice of that, and I really don't care what anyone thinks.

I've sat in this chair, continuously now, for some two-plus hours. A pile of laundry, an unmade bed, and an empty fridge stare at me. I'll get to it. Later. Maybe. Sometime.

Aging fortunately doesn't tell the brain to 'think old'. Aging adamantly tells one, "by god, I can still do that." He/she said I was too old to do/for that? HA! Watch me! Other day, up popped a picture of that new waterslide in town, THE tallest one in the world. I argued internally as to whether or not I would/wouldn't go for it. Long about that time, a gal three years older than me in HS wrote "Count me in!" I love aging, kinda, often, mostly, sometimes.

I've got to go now. (Victor, you've already peed five times and it's not even nine am.) I know, aging has made me take notice. No, I really HAVE to go. "Cause I think I'm gonna sit here a couple more hours in front of the computer and do nothing. Pretty important stuff (choosing) when you're old.

May you all have old age, giggle moments. Better to have them now than to withhold them, and find yourself one day be looking up at sod, thinking "I shoulda laughed at myself more."

With flatulence, brownspots, protruding hairs, procrastination, hop-hop-hop, Love, Victurd.