Visiting with a chum of mine tonight… Great guy, from a wonderful family… He’d just gotten off the phone with his mom, late 70’s, a penchant for driving up fairly frequently from her abode 200+ miles South of Kansas City – to pull the one-arm-bandits of the KC area casinos.
“Coming up MONDAY! Can’t wait to see you!”… (She’d just come up 7 days ago).. “Vic, it’s getting to be a bit much… she’ll say, let’s meet for lunch Monday, and it’s like “Mom, I can’t just drop everything.”
Yes.. yes you can. Again, I love this buddy like a brother, and he’s got wunnerful head/life smarts. And I pointed out, “Hey, in a heartbeat, I’d drop everything I was doing if it were possible to meet my mother on Monday for lunch”.. (He’s aware I’m the only one left from a family of: mom, dad, sister, brother.)
“I know Vic, and you’re right”…
Damn right I am.
A very short blog, zilcho humor (sorry).. to simply say “If you have nuclear family still on the planet, please… absorb them.. drop any quarries/quarrels…. Don’t let ‘distance’ be a hurdle..
TOUCH, frequently.. Toss the word Love with regularity.. Harken back to yesterday.. dig out a poem, a letter, a picture, a scenario, a anything from yesteryear – and share, dotingly.
I love you all and I honestly don’t seek your tears, your “Oh Victor, I’m so sorry”.. of course everyone is.. and that’s cool (and I’m thankful). … I’m talking about YOUR today/tomorrow – and “who’s left” and “time left”.. And your actions between now and “you just don’t know when.”
“Partials”.. Relatives who may not now completely have all of their mental/physical capacities. Avoidance of them is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. One of the saddest days of my life, also turned out to be one of the happiest days of my life.
St. Mary’s Hospital, Blue Springs, MO.. late 90’s, mebbe early 2000… My father, he and I the remaining living/breathing from family of four… I wheeled him into the lobby, started talking about my mother and my sister… I welled up when I realized he had no idea who I was talking about…
An hour later.. back in his bed… fast asleep.. a nurse walked up to me.. “I just wanted you to know.. I know your father has dementia, but I wanted you to realize how proud he is of you…. He told us all (and again, proudly) “My son is a bellhop at this Hotel”.. A laugh/cry/feel good/feel uck kinda moment.
I’ll get off my high horse. In closing: have family, go love. Love, Victurd.
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