I don’t repeat gossip….. so listen close the first time…

Yes, all ears perked. We’ve all been there… “Did you hear about so-and –so?”… And, apologies Father, I’ve admittedly been there too. Color me guilty as charged too. In fact, just yesterday, emailed two’a my bestest buds about “the latest” trials, tribulations of a common friend – and, (Victor, are you gonna try to JUSTIFY gossiping?) this friend perty much ‘earned’ our right to gossip about said friend. (Mebbe.)

Wiki, I understand, is “by we, the people”, so, therefore, it bears fault. I was perty astonished though as I read portions where it kinda-sorta praised gossip: “Helps individuals learn social information about other individuals in the organization (often without even having to meet the other individual)… Inform individuals as to what is considered socially acceptable behavior within the organization…Builds social networks of individuals by bonding co-workers together and affiliating people with each other.” REALLY?? In Wiki defense – it did list cancerous examples of gossip too…

Thought fun, another example of gossip I found online.. “One manager I know decided she was going to stamp out gossip. She called a meeting and scolded the group, “I won’t tolerate this constant gossiping,” she said. “If I catch anyone gossiping they are going to have to answer to me.” All the team members sat around the table and no one spoke. As soon as the meeting was adjourned, they all went back to their desks and started sending emails to each other about the meeting; some talked in the rest room and others in the break room. In other words, the manager didn’t wipe out gossip—she just drove it deeper underground. And she gave them something new to gossip about!” After the meeting the manager prolly whispered into the ears of the assistant manager “there, that oughta stop the lil’ bastards.” HA!

Whilst I have been guilty – gossip does tend to make me uncomfy. It makes ya think “hmmm.. if that person is talking about that other person… then I wonder if they talk about me too when I ain’t around?” Who gossips with you will gossip of you.

There’s that situation where you walk around the corner, or, in our glorious now-cubicle-world, you walk into the cubicle… two are talking (purposely) SO low that only their ears can hear. YUCK! UNCOMFY. STOP-IT-DAMNIT! Even worse if they suddenly DO stop talking. Uh oh, it’s about me!

Gossip helps entertain us as we await the long lines of Piggly Wiggly. For whatever reason, we’re enthralled with “the latest scoop” on celebs – and thankfully, we take it “for whatever it’s worth.” Many a rich magazine mogel though..

I, personally, love men’s restrooms in dirty old, skanky bars. Hehe. I DO! I won’t repeat anything here though (I now have young relatives as friends on FB… DAMNIT!.. [no, not damnit they’re my friends…. it’s just that now I have to tone down my gossi… er.. wording].)

The old classroom experiment where the teacher has all the kids seated in a circle.. she whispers a three sentence long statement into the ears of the first kid… who then tries to repeat/whisper it to the one sitting next to them – and so on, so forth, around the circle until the final kiddo stands up to repeat what (gossip?) was handed down – and it’s always remarkably different from the beginning statement. I reckon same goes for gossip. So-and-so slept with so-and-so turns into “yeah… they’ve had 12 kids together.. hadn’t you heard?”

Personal vendetta gossip. To me, hearing this go on is about as exciting as watching the weather channel. It’s reinforcement for the teller, and music to go to sleep by for me. Patooey. Clam-it biotch (with apologies to my young relatives who are now my FB friends…. Uncle Victor is really a nice old man, and normally that sumbitch rarely cusses.)

I will now go… listen… expect.. happens… Gossip, apparently, has it’s place in this world. If it didn’t, it’d be shelved like Fonzie, Rubik’s cube, Gumby, the Ouija board, and Betty Boop.

Time to leave.. Go take on the day. Say? Did you hear what that creepy Dr. Laura did? Ohhh… nevermind.. (Thankfully, there’s a POSITIVE form of gossip too… where you say “Did you hear about so-and-so?” And then follow with the good deed, job well done, atta boy/girl thingy they’ve accomplished… YAY!)

Will Rogers even once chimed in on gossip… “Live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” Happy day, love Victurd.