Knock knock………

Who’s there?

Damnit Victor, no one. You haven’t written in this blog since like March 20th.. Do you really think folks wait around with baited breath daily JUST to see if you’ve written?

No. But it does make me curious what baited breath smells like.

Mish mash. (Which reminds me of the song “splish spash.. I was taking a bath”)… Victor, don’t ever go to The Dish, your hangout, and then blog.. Ya know? Ahm, last time I looked at my 1040, tax return, it indicated single… and that.. “Victor, don’t ever go to The Dish, your harngout, and then blog” sounded as if I was married. Did I file incorrectly?

I meant mish mash ‘cause this will probably be allover the joint, no rhyme, no reason.. And I can’t believe I spelled rhyme the first time and Windows didn’t underline it. Sumbitch.

On aging, and why I feel a bit older. Ahm, I listen to 101 The Fox, the local Classic Rock station.. And…. I recognize maybe 60% of the songs. That IS old Victor.

When I get in (and out) of the bathtub, I have to stop and think. What usedta be “up, out”.. is now “stand… center your weight… hold on to something… lift one leg gently, over, and to the ground. Steady. Steady. And then the other leg.” Dry ‘em off IMMEDIATELY, or I’m toast. Even scarier - as I put the second leg down - I’m forced to kinda point my eyeballs downward. Scary sight. Scary. I’m getting old.

Corporate Challenge. It’s an athletic thing, companies around our fine metropolis, have events of almost every type. Thus far, I’m signed up for: the festive, celebratory mile walk (participation points.. Can handle this one).. The long jump (yeah, Victor you told us that one).. Softball (“you’ll shoot your eyes [implants] out”.. golf. (dead last last year, ANY division).. Darts.. And 3 on 3 basketball. I “sound” 30, act 20, and body is 60.

Continuing “old:”. Basketball practice the other night. 95% of the time, I didn’t embarrass myself. Mebbe one reason is that of the five of us on the team, four of us are a combined over 200 years old. I fell down twice. TWICE. Mind says “Body go here”, brain says “You dumbass, you’re fitty-seven” so I fell, TWICE.

“Look at Victor! He fouled himself!”… Pardona ma my French, but fuck you guys! I had fun, goal number one as I stroll, stumble, forward.

Enough about aging Victor, how are things in the female department?

Next question please.

Ahm, Ok. How’s work?

Work is great. My respite. I’ve been labeled “class clown” and am dayum prouda that. I’m on the “Fun Committee”.. we think up fun shit for allofus… dinners.. Outings… A bit back I organized a pizza lunch in the park for somea us.. And, on Cinco de mayo, I’ve organized our first “after work, show us how bad you are at golf” outing.

I’ve played golf already three times this year, WAY aheada normal. Victor? How are you shooting? Right-handed, next question?

Knock knock?.. Victor, damnit, there’s no one here. Like dating, don’t get your hopes up. It’s useless.

In summation, I’m having fun. No, not getting laid. Yes, go to Happy Hour too damn much. Yes, avoid some personal responsibilities I should stay more on top of…………..but………..

I have fun. I love laughter, and try to make others around me do just that. Had’a wonderful email from a chicky in Jacksonville, FL who is forced into reading goofy emails from me.. She said “you’re a hoot.. I would LOVE to work with you!”.. .Shit like this keeps me going. That rocked. I do love my job. Lucky. Good Lord willing (and, us getting proper ROI.. Long story. Stands for “Return on Investment”) I’’ be there awhile.

So you.. Yes you. The one that ain’t here reading. Go. Do. Smile. Laugh. Realize “like sands thru the hourglass, so go the days of our lives.” Tell those ya love ya do. Peruse your email list. See any ya ain’t heard from, write, say “Hey, was thinking about you, what sup?”

A little diddy……… bout Jack and Dianna… no, that ain’t it… A little diddy, about Victor and getting old. One American “kid”, in the Heartland.

THANKS (no one) for being here.. I love you like you’ll never know (‘cause you ain’t here)…

Peace out… Love, CorporateChallengeNoSexOldManHavingFunActYourAgePLEASE, Victurd.