As I age I’ve noticed…….

I pee more frequently.

When I have to pee, the bathroom is always further away than it usedta be.

I usedta giggle when I saw an old man with an ‘oopsie’ (baby drip on his clothes somewhere around the zipper).. now.. I just stand infronta the hand dryer instead.

As a kid, it took four somersaults and a jagged rock for my skin to break.. now.. I might gently nudge the door-frame, and I bleed like “it’s all over”. The ‘scab’ stays with me seemingly forever, and I’m certain folks around think there’s an abuser living in my house.

You can scrape off brown spots, but much like kids that leave the nest, they virtually always come back.

You don’t find many men that still open car doors for a woman. And, with my current driver’s side door limited to “I can open it from the inside, but not the outside” I am finding there are absolutely no women who will open the car door for me. Can we say checkenginelight?

Daily as I awaken, get up, I’m reminded of the sensation as a child when you would take that first step on solid ground after departing the Tilt-A-Whirl.

Elections and erections come with about the same frequency.

As a child, when the urge for “#2” hit, I’d run my fastest so I could get back to whiffle ball, kick the can, or Indian ball. Now, I run my fasted to simply get there.

The cars in the other lanes go ten MPH faster than I, and five MPH over the speed limit – and I could care less.

Beautiful smiles on lady’s faces – whilst always appreciated in the past – are even moreso now.

Hugs usedta be so much about “HEY, how you doin?”.. Today, they are much more about “wow… it’s been a great life eh?”…

Smiles usedta mean “thanks”, “Hi”, “You’re cute”, “That was fun”.. but today, they’re so much more about “can you believe we did that shit and got away with it?”

The 65’ distance between home and first base have assuredly been changed to some kinda metrics – ‘cause now it seems more like 100 meters. (Thank goodness for the “courtesy runner” for those rare occasions where I do get a base hit.)

Friends, family, loved ones – whilst perhaps further away, not seen as frequently – are valued more.

Sticks and stones very definitely break old men’s bones – and words, both good and bad, are ne’er forgotten.

“I’m game for anything” has been replaced by “if I don’t feel like it, I ain’t gonna. I’m older, and yeah, mebbe a tad more selfish.”

Women’s breasts, upon aging, tend to focus more acutely on where they’ll ultimately end up.

“Gate” usedta be something we didn’t have time for… jump-the-fence, much quicker… Now.. “gait” is our pace in the Piggly Wiggly as Suzie-soccer mom ‘Nascars” the screaming urchin’ around us so she can hurry back home to life’s hurries.

The wrinkles, they grow deeper, wider. I’ve had one helluva time developing them however.

Aging ain’t necessarily a bad thing. It beats the hell outta the obits. Love, Victurd.