Shoe fly don’t bother me…

Yes damnit, I realize that was misspelled… (I’ve been on these GD [gosh darn] dating sites too long.. “need a man with a since of humor”… “enjoy dancing”.. “very careing person”… I GET IT, OK?)…

Shoes. VERY interesting. We haveta have ‘em.. No shirt, no shoes, no service.

Shoes as a gift, not a good thing. Ya just can’t do that. You gotta try ‘em on, work ‘em out, look and see “is this me?”…

I know I’ve told this one before, so apologies… onea my alltime favorite stories.. My nephew, then 4.. Christmas time.. All he wanted for Christmas was a pair of cowboy boots. I think he started planning, begging in February.. So.. Granny… as all grannys do… came thru…

THE DAY. Unwrapped ‘em.. JUMPED with joy.. Put ‘em on. Kinda. It was a damn struggle.. For like thirty minutes.. But he had the “I’ll be gosh darn I’ve wanted these soooo bad, now I’ve got ‘em, I will spend however long it takes to get ‘em on.”…

He did, but it took awhile.

Ten minutes later, nephew limping around the house.. Following granny’s every move. “Hurt Grandma, hurt.” Granny would smile, think “Oh, they’re just new, of course new cowboy boots are gonna hurt.”…

An hour later.. Nephew walking like he was on stilts… Still, very proudly wearing them, but too “hurt grandma… hurt”…

Finally… after all the gifts had been unwrapped.. The turkey/ham devoured… The pumpkin pie vanished… s’more attention was paid to the continued “hurt grandma… hurt”…

Seems.. Granny found the right size boot.. But… in his angst to get ‘em on.. He didn’t pay any attention to the big wad of paper they stick in the toe of new boots/shoes…. So he’d scrunched his size 6 into (with the paper) size 2’s… because “by God.. I wanted these boots.. And I’M WEARIN’ ‘EM!”….

Shoes… shoes have sole… Shoes, when picking them out.. Some are too expensive… some are too cheap… some ‘hurt’.. .some just not aesthetic enough for you/me… Some too narrow.. Some too wide..

Some feel really good at first.. Only to “ouch” not long after. Some need much conformation for it to ever work. Some last a long, long time. My father had’a par’a what I term “boat shoes” that were slip on mesh things.. Honest to goodness he wore them occasionally from their purchase (I’m guessing 1960-something) until his death.. 2003... Without coming out and saying so, he loved them. They weren’t unsightly, they were just very damn comfy. They worked. Felt good. Fit.

I’ve had instances of “hey, I think this pair will work”…………….. Cha-ching..

Only to learn months, weeks, years later… “nope… shoulda never done that.”

Some are favorites. The best. I’ll put these on, they’re comfy. I like these, they’re in style. If the shoe fits, wear it.

Some need a little work… a shoe horn… polished… re-soled… new shoestrings.. Washed… Hung out to dry…

Some u take for granted, and only take them out on those special occasions… Some, we put away in the closet - and forget about them without intent.

Todays “whatinthehell are you trying to say Victor, and whyinthehell do you make it so weird to read thru you weirdass brain” thought is……………………

Shoes are like people… Relationships… . You can reread the above.. Substitute ‘person’ for shoe… think of the shoe/foot relationship as that of he/she (Or, in keep up with society he/he, she/she)… two left feet? Sorry, I’ll stop….

There is a comfort level, or there ain’t. At the enda some days - we just wanna take them sumbitches off ‘cause they’ve been killing us all day, and we wanna relieve the burden.

Tomorrow happens though.. And we’re glad they’re there… so comfy.. “I picked” these.

Finding the right pair of shoes it a tough one. Finding the right mate is difficult as well. Sometimes “purchased” and it just don’t work. Sometimes we wear ‘em out., getting all we can from ‘the relationship’.. Sometimes they ‘burst’ - and allofasudden it’s over. Sometimes we get a lotta lotta miles and we appreciate them more and more for every new mile.

I’m apperchiative you’re here reading. I ain’t real sure why I ain’t written. Feet been hurtin’ some I rectum. It’s hard as hell trying to find a pair to fit.

Bottomline… always take the paper stuffing outta the toe when trying on ‘shoes’. It’s a sunofabitch if you don’t. “Hurt blogreaders… hurt.” Love, Victurd