I want to live, I want to give....

I've been a miner for a heart of gold
It's these expressions I never give
That keep me searchin' for a heart of gold
And I'm gettin' old
Keeps me searchin for a heart of gold
And I'm gettin' old

Funny, I guess, as we age (and are singled) we want so badly - yet -
when faced with that potential arrangement, we run. They run. Is there
sucha thing as believing there's a 'figment'.. there's really nothing
close... yet, when "could this work" happens... run happens.

I've been to Hollywood, I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind, it's such a fine line
That keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old
Keeps me searchin for a heart of gold
And I'm gettin' old

Living in Missouri, or, as our border opponents Kansas call it, "misery",
is this something subconsciously enjoyed? We turn from the potential
because it ain't status quo. It's new, it's perhaps trying to start over.

I remember our family moving so much when I was a child. Toward the last
few moves - I did not want to start over. I tired of making friends,
having fun, then losing them. Only to be told "here we go again."

Relationships, I think, are like that. You don't move in with the intent
to move some day - but it happens. Each and every time it happens, you
load the truck, thinking to yourself "I don't wanna. I'm tired of this.
I'll just stay put." And we do.

Keep me searchin for a heart of gold
You keep me searchin and I'm growin old
Keep me searchin for a heart of gold
I've been a miner for a heart of gold...

I love to move. No, not that kind. The kind at the gym. Yes, been going.
Trying to get mini Matterhorn back down to Flinthill. Softball moving.
Moving on the dance floor. Moving simply to say "no ya don't, you bastard
a-g-i-n-g."

I ain't real sure, particularly now, home is where the heart is. Misery love
no company. I guess. Fools gold, I reckon. Creatures of habit. Resistant
to change. Buyer's remorse. Leaving the retail dressing room with an arm full
of new duds. Nah, not this time. I'm good as I am.

Or are we? Keeps me searchin for a heart of gold. And I'm gettin' old.

Love, Victurd