Wednesday, September 22, 2021

4am. Hello darkness my old friend....

The reasons are many... MANY reasons why one is up at 4am.  You?  I've noticed:

Colicky baby....  Gotta pee....  Shoulder hurts..   Hungry..  Unfinished worrying..  Went to bed too early...  Gotta pee, again... The eyes open, by the time one can find a clock to see whatintheheck time it is, you gotta pee again, so now you're awake.. so might as well get up.

Wall Street Journal says "Most people who wake up at 4 a.m. do it because they have to—farmers, flight attendants, currency traders and postal workers. Others rise before dawn because they want to."  Then, it says they want you to subscribe to read the rest so ix-nay that one.

A study by the University of Westminster finds that people who get up early have higher levels of stress hormone than those who have a leisurely morning.  I'm sorry, howinthehell do they study that? "Excuse me there Jane in Scranton, Pennsylvania.. we see that you are up.. could you take a moment, put on your robe and let us come measure your stress hormones?"

CEO's wake up at 4am.  Probably to check their bank account, my guess. 

Some guy decided to wake up at 4am for thirty days straight, then write an article about it. Color me a skeptic.   "While automatic reminders are the rage, I found setting the alarm the night before was an active reminder that I was getting up early to accomplish x, y and z. It didn't take long before I was actually looking forward to it (yes, really!) so I could plan my day." Sure, but it's a safe bet your alarm/stool flushing woke up three people in the house that wanted to sleep.. you have halitosis.. a nifty Cheerio stain on your PJ shirt because you can't focus that damn early, and.. you likely fell asleep in the 3rd inning of the Royal's game that night. (I speak from experience.)

"By waking up early, I was able to accomplish a lot. Once I had gotten certain tasks out of the way in the early morning, I had a renewed focus during the workday and didn't get as overwhelmed."  I bet so, but I also bet your cubicle mate Chuck had to tap you on the shoulder with a pencil every dadgum time you nodded off in the afternoon, and WE SAW YA.. we saw your 5pm commuter butt drift over darn near a full lane on the way home, almost cause a MASSIVE wreck had it not been for the lady in the Toyota behind you that honked and flipped you off. Your positivity reeks of a brown noser seeking an entry management position. Patooey.

FINALLY you realized "Shifting my schedule to account for an earlier wakeup time was a good reminder that “having it all” wasn’t worth it. Yes, there were days where I was able to wake up at 4 a.m., have a productive workday, and then go out at night– but without the recovery time my body needed, my performance suffered the next day."  Uh huh, what I said. There's a lot to be said for watching the 10pm news, downing a glass of wine, catching 30 minutes of Jimmy Kimmel, finally hitting the hay, then rolling over to tap Margaret on the shoulder with 'wanna fool around baby?' Also, the mouth is bigger at 6:45am and you can't miss getting the spoon of Cheerios in that thing.

4am, to me, in the real world means... what if the newspaper delivery guy oversleeps?  Howabout the school guy that schedules subs for the sick teachers of the day?   What time do donut-makers go to bed?  My Facebook friends on the West Coast with the 'green light on."  Are they goin' or comin'?  A 4am unexplained house noise is hella scarier than a 7am house noise.  It's dark at 4am. One can go get the newspaper in their undies (provided the paper guy hasn't overslept.)

4am is a very good time to write a very stupid blog.

4am, when retired, is also a very good time to set ones alarm to.. oh, let's say December 24th, then, hop back in bed for a long, long nap.

And in the naked light, I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

Cheerio... and love, Victurd

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