Thursday, January 30, 2020

Well I told you once and I told you twice....

But ya never listen to my advice
You don't try very hard to please me
With what you know it should be easy

Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know
Oh no, oh no

The last time. Interesting concept. Saw the other day, it was asked "do you remember the last time in your life a neighbor kid knocked on your door and you went out to play?"

Was walking into the Community Center the other day... out walked a lady in not too great'a shape - walker, struggling. Just shoot me, my brain went to "I don't won't to be like that." Yeah I do, if there ain't no alternative.  It's like the guy saying "I don't wanna live to be 90!".. Well, ask him when he's 89 years, 364 days old if he still feels the same way...

My ex father inlaw. Good man. Loved golf. Played the big courses. As he aged, he drove 10 miles to a smaller, par three course. For a time he drove the Interstate. Then, as eyes, reflexes became challenged, he drove there via the less traveled 2 lane highway - but, he was still going. He's gone now. I wonder if before he passed he remembered the last time he played?

I repeat myself, apologies, know I've told this - but (to me) pretty gripping. Long ago after divorce, toes dabbled into the dating game. Just shoot me again, figuring out women, there ain't no last time. That could be looked upon as a good thing, as we male piggies are very easy to figure out. Anyways, long about the 4th or 5th person I dated - I finally thought to ask "just what are you looking for?" This gal, way too young for me, was hella brighter than I. She told me, "Well.. I'm a nurse. One night I was working in the ER, a frail elderly lady was having severe cardiac issues. In fact, she coded three times and we were able to revive her. Each time, the doctor would go to the waiting room to visit/communicate with her elderly husband. She coded again. This time we couldn't save her. The doctor returned to the waiting room, relayed the sad news to the husband. Without so much as a word, he got up, went into the room where she lay with the sheet pulled over her. He pulled the sheet down, kissed her cheek - covered her back up and was on his way. THAT. That's what I want." Wow, some last time.

As one ages, the more one sees things we no longer can do, will do, want to do. Running, for me, is an example. Buying, enjoying a 2 story house is another. High risk investing.

Many in our family tree - gone. Remember the last time you saw them? Kinda makes one want to pay greater attention to every detail in life - particularly with family, loved ones, longtime friends.

'The A table'. Twas a group of good buds (I wasn't a 'member', but I recall seeing them and the fun they had.) They would gather at the same pub, same time, same day of the week - for years. Recently, one of The A Team was in Hospice. His last desire (last time) was to play shuffleboard "just one more time." They propped him up next to the table - and play he did with a smile as big as the Mississippi. 

Another friend, her mom in hospice, helped her mother go/do many items on the bucket list. One 'last time' request was to ride a horse. Twas arranged. Twas filmed. Many helped her get on the horse. A last ride - with smile. Perty damn cool. Last times suck and are wonderful, if that makes sense.

We are reminded frequently "life is short, enjoy." Or, as Gwen Stefani said "Life is short and you've got to get the most out of it." 

I ain'ts no preacher - but I would love love love to emulate the bright-eyed vibrancy of a small child the remainder of my life. See everything with awe. Remind me it's OK that the lady in line aheada ya at the grocery store with enough food in her cart to feed a football team - didn't offer to let you go in fronta her and purchase your loaf of bread. The times we're in a hurry and there's an even more elderly person infronta you at the checkout of a store - and they want to share one more little story with the clerk. Maybe they are in that "bright-eyed vibrant" (this could be the last time) ilk of their life? We can learn from it.

I beg Oh Lord to ne'er again "read way too dadgum much" into something seemingly incomplete a friend, loved one has said. Bounce it off these feathers, lemme smile, have wide eyes - and peek for the next nifty little diddy in life.

I'm rambling, sorry. Main point(s). Life IS fleeting. Last times DO happen. Don't sweat the small stuff (unless you have lice... or crabs.. sorry... kinda.. not really.)

 A bit more hunched over. Running days behind me. No more 220+ yard golf drives. Still driving the Interstates - will try to remember to take it all in - as one day that will end. I do hereby promise to use that word love more. The words "I hate when...." less. And "it really bugs me when you...." less. Walk in the rain. Dig in the dirt, plant a flower. Fetch the colors of the sky with your eyes. See if you can count your smiles in a day until you reach fitty. Let things leak out like "you know, all my life I've really admired how you....." Yum. Bring it out. Shout it out. Smother others in happiness.

Don't be PO'ed you only hit a golf ball 180 yards, remember to know we're blessed in just being out there,  able to still be simply playing, enjoying.

Bright eyed, bushy tailed, vibrant.  Like a rock.  No, that ain't it.  Like a kid.  Like a kid in awe of all life.  I usedta love the heck outta teaching elementary PE.  Those dudes would walk in quietly in the neat, straight line their teacher had arranged.. but their eyeballs were huge, as was their smile - as they soon knew we'd be going wild and crazy, having fun.  Bright eyed, bushy tailed. Vibrant.  Thanks kids for teaching ME how to live.

Well this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time
I don't know
Oh no, oh no

Love, Victurd

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