It's 5 O'Clock somewhere........

For whatever reason, the number 5 has popped up in my life hella times of late.

Five, to me, is interesting. High Five. Hawaii 5 Oh... Fab 5.

There be 5 appendages on a starfish. Ditto, on our appendages. Cept', one time, no not band camp, one time, fraternity house. We always had a Haunted House for Halloween. We usually charged admission and pinpointed some charity, like Goodwill, the Red Cross, or a keg of Olympia. One of our fraternity brothers, he, 6'6" tall, and with proper suit, shoulder pads, looked just like Herman Munster. Anyways, it was dark in the room where he was posted. He held a flashlight, and one by one as the kids would walk by, he'd shine the flashlight on his face, say "Count the toes", then shine the flashlight on his feet, and yep, NOT 5, but 6 toes on each foot. I'm sure there's a name for that, but I ain't got 5 minutes to dig for it. Anyways, the kids would scream and head for another room.

It's been like 5 months since I've blogged. My puter is sick. Will get to it one day, just as soon as I go on a diet and quit smoking. So, I be at Library. Gotta new card. I haven't been here in like 5 times 5 years. Last time I was here, I remember owing $2.17 on past dues. I figured, when I told 'em my name, got a new card, there'd be like $5 in interest added to the $2.17 I'd have to pay. Nope. All old records wiped out, life is good, party on.

So...logged on with my library card number (which does have a 5 in it).. Then, I guess because they were worried I was a robot, they had to text me a 5 digit number for me to then enter, so I can use the puter for 5 (times 12) minutes. While I was typing all that crap, Cricket texted me notifying they'd automatically withdrawn $50 for my bill. It usedta be $45. Every month, roughly 5 days before time to pay bill, phone would get slow as molasses. Finally called 'em, said "what gives?" They said something about bites, and I didn't have enough.. when I reached so-and-so bites, it would be slow. I asked "Well how much for unlimited?" $5 extra. See? 5's allover the damn place.

Five Man Electrical Band... Maroon 5.. The 5th Dimension.. The Dave Clark Five.. A perfect 5th is the most consonant harmony, and is the basis for most western tuning systems. Wiki told me that, I ain't got no idea what it means.

Five second rule on food on the floor. High Five, today, replaced by the fist bump. Wonder what'll be popular in 5 years?

Church's Fried Chicken. I know I've told this story, probably 5 times before - so apologies. Virtually daily, when I was working, I'd go to lunch and buy the same ole same ole meal from Church's. Cheerful guy with Spanish accent on the order speaker thingy, each time would lemme know the amount... "Faiy-oh-five." I giggled to myself silently each and every time he did this, cause it made me wonder why he could say the second 5, but not the first one.. ($5.05) like "Five-Oh-Five." Been about 5 years since I've been to that Church's.

The Olympics, symbolized by 5 interlocked rings. Basketball, 5 on 5. In the numbering of players, 1 thu 5, the Center is 5. If you guard someone close, they gotta get ridda the ball in 5 seconds. Baseball, it's the 3rd baseman who is 5. Hockey, major penalty 5 minutes. Little kids, on a trip of 3 hours, asking every 5 minutes "How much longer?" Deep breath, delay response 5 seconds, then tell em.

On the landline (remember those?) the 5 key on the tele is associated with the letters J, K & L. Most manual transmissions have 5 gears. 

Interesting (to me anyways) thing happened this morning. Roughly 5 days a week, I swing thru Mickey D's, order the same ole same ole thing (OK damnit, count the calories, a Sausage Biscuit and a Sausage McMuffin, and a water.) "That'll be $2.71 sir." I roll to the window. One lady once told me "I recognize your voice now." Anyways, twas some dude this time, never seen him before. Handed him a $10, he gave me back $2 and the change, thus, he SHORTED me $5. Trying not to be the stereotypical grumpy old man, I immediately honked my horn, held the change and the receipt up, stared frantically. Hey, $5 is $5. Could not gain his attention, but lady who said she recognized my voice that one day, came to the window - I explained to her I was shorted $5. Quizzically, she pivoted to try to eyeball her manager. Manager lady came to the window, said something to new guy I'd never seen, he shook his head "NO".. she then punched something into the computer, then familiar lady came to the window and said "Would you mind pulling up into the reserved spot, she's going to count the drawer."

I thought this was pretty goofy, then I wondered what I woulda done had I been the manager. I am certain some people do this purposely so they'll have enough for a small flask of whiskey, but I hope I look honest, they know I come there all the time, yada.

So...I pull up. In my best 'don't be the stereotypical grumpy old fart' I practiced my defense on what to say if they come saying, "nope, drawer checked out, sorry." I would say, "I've lived in this darn (damn) town since 1952, I come to this darn (damn) Mickey D's 5 times a week, that's a lotta revenue, and you're going to wish (piss) it all away if you don't gimme my 5 dollars!" I'd already taken my blood pressure meds, but I was curious what it was at that point.

So............. I sit with my water, awaiting lady to walk up, bring my me biscuits AND $5, I would get outta their hair. Or, for the tussle we were gonna have should she say "Nope, sorry."

"You were right sir, the drawer was $5 long." Without saying "I knew that" I thought to myself "I knew that." She handed me the proper change, which included the $5 in question. She then walked away. In my sweetest, kindest, non-stereotypical old grumpy fart, sweet voice, I hollered out the window "HEY, what about my food?"

She came back, grabbed the ticket, soon fetched me the biscuits. Again, I don't know what I'da done had I been the manager. What struck me as weird, it took at least 7 or 8 minutes for them to count the drawer. As they did this, traffic in the drive thru lane was at a screeching halt. They had probably 5 other cash registers in there, but nope, this is the only one (I guess) they could use for the drive thru. I'm thinking, "those people in line are probably PO'ed... I'm kinda sorta getting thataway, I think if I were the manager I mighta simply dug $5 outta the drawer, taken the customer's word for it, apologized and kept the line flowing. I'm really not the stereotypical grumpy old fart, but I do remember practicing my "I'M NEVER COMING BACK HERE AGAIN" line had they not given me my 5 dolla's.

I gotta go. Library only gives ya 60 (5 times 12) minutes. I only got 5 left. I still gotta click save, then check my damn spelling.

Five finger discount. Five o-clock shadow. Five, six, pickup sticks. FIVE GOLDEN RINGS. Times up, I'll have this posted in 5.

Love, Victurd