They're coming to take me away........... ha ha...

Hi, my name is Victurd and… I’m going nuts. You see, I no comprende human behavior. I walky down hall at work. I meet approaching coworker, eye to eye, 12’ apart. Offer: “Hi!”…… and… and…. Crickets. WHYINTHEHELL is it so hard for some folks to muster a return salutation, or hell, even get a little neck exercise and nod back…… They, them human behavior experts, offer “eh, don’t worry, people are different.” Duh. It still drives me nuts.

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away ha ha

I telephoney vendor at work, give my 47 second spiel on my specific need… then I hear “Just a moment” AND IM TRANSFERRED… The hell? I gotta do that crap allover again? WHATTHEHELL IS YOUR JOB? I want an “all you have to do is simply answer the phone” job. This is happening with more and more frequency. I see Nurse Ratched in my near future.

You thought it was joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, right? You know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed, you laughed and laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad.

People… people who need people.. NO THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT SONG DAMNIT! Another one. All I want is one Gosh Darn McChicken (ketchup and pickles only) and a cup of water. I speaky that. I hear “I’m sorry, could you repeat that please?” I stay calm but wanna holler “PUT YOUR GOSH DARN PHONE DOWN, YOU CAN READ NOAH’S TEXT LATER. I’M GONNA ORDER AGAIN, WILL YOU BE LISTENING YOU LITTLE SNOTNOSE?”

And they're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes, They're coming to take me away ha ha...

OLD PEOPLE. VICTOR! You’re an OLD PERSON. I know I know, but…. At Wallyworld, or PigglyWiggly, or CVS, Wallgreen, Lowes, Hope Depot, WHEREVER: Old people pay. And they talk. They no move. They no worry about me (and 12 others behind them) holding a bag of dirt, or four prescriptions, or a case of oil. I sometimes wish my eyes were mildly hot lasers.. so I could buzz/shock some sense into folks. Remind me (soon): Pay, then get the hell outta the way, fast.

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you paid me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds. Huh? Well you just wait they'll find you yet, and when they do they'll put you in the ASPCA you mangy mutt.

I with friend. Really good friend. I ask question. They no answer, no comment. Two bits, four bits, six bits a cactus, I ask questions just for practice. Life, as I age, is changing from “no reaction whatsoever” to “Are you a lunatic, can you not hear me? How can you be so damn insensitive?”

People, people who need people... GOSHDARNIT NOT THAT ONE!!…..

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice men in their clean white coats. They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle thier thumbs and toes. They're coming to take me away Ha Ha Ha

This much I have figured out. People are different. I am too, we all are. I’ve figured out, there’s no figuring out. If I don’t go crazy first – maybe I can take that approach: Hey, this is unique, I’m gonna ask this.. and let’s see what this person says… and that person… (if they say anything).. maybe they’ll transfer my question to a friend? Maybe they’ll say “can you repeat that please?.” This could be fun!

And They're coming to take me away Ha Ha
They're coming to take me away ho ho he he ha ha
To the loony bin with all you can eat perscription drugs like thorizine, and lithium, and electric shock and insulin. They're coming to take me away Ha Ha

People… people who understand people.. are the luckiest people in the world. Call me weird, call me crazy I don’t care. I scratch my head sometimes – but, then I know I’m different too… so it’s all good.

“Hi Nurse, how’s your day?”…………….. Love, Victurd