Hurt

If you're so attuned to listen/read......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l95D7leeU3w

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

Needle = thoughts... yesterday.. knives (words) into the 'wooden fence' that forever leave a scar..

the times getting let down... the times of isolation when inspiration/occupation was so badly needed... The self-scorn, our ego's biggest deflator..

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

Everyone ultimately goes away... some way sooner than we'd like, some, circumstances not so desired.. some by choice, some by locale, some by occupation, some, by life simply passing/fleeting..

And I would never make you hurt....... with intent...

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

Words said, action's done... "Message sent" to put in 2012 perspective.. No repair.. No stopping words, emails, looks, actions, behaviors.. People change... we change.. I've changed.. Perspective changes.. age changes us..

situations change us.. "If I'd'a known then what I know now"...

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

What have I become.. good question. Sometimes I don't know... Sometimes I am my own worst enemy,

other times it's like "you're messed up, look at what's right with me".. Lost, kinda.

Empire of dirt = apartment 68, Cherokee Village, Liberty, Mo. It ain't much, but it's me, and doesn't take much to make me happy as far as an abode. Again, no, Johny/Nine Inch, I won't make you hurt,

leastwise, not on purpose.

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

I'm not sure I could/would start again. Uh huh, I'd for sure like to get a base hit in old fart softball and not have to yield to "he's an old fart, we're gonna use a designated runner"... but not sure I'd go back.

Blessed it's been. Not perfect, but blessed. Way more fortunate than many, I know. Hurt comes to all.

I hurt myself today........ to see if I still feel..

Love, Victurd (and I do...... still feel)