I'm in pieces, bits and pieces

Since you (Youth) left me and you said goodbye
(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
All I do is sit and cry
(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
You went away and left me misery (In Missouri)
(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
And that's the way it'll always be

“We need people to sign up for the Corporate Challenge Events. Doesn’t matter how badly you do, or how long it’s been since you’ve done the event, we get participation points just for you being out there.”

Ahm, 40 years ago I usedta long jump. I see they got that. I see too that they break it down in age groups, but the basta’s ain’t got an age group for me. They have 20-29, 30-39, and 40 and up. Yes, I am “and up” but that shit ain’t quite fair is it?

The guy who is in charge of our company never responded, but had, I imagine he’da said “Well hell no Vic, people past age 49 shouldn’t be long jumping… what’s the deductible on your Health Insurance?”

(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
You (Youthhood) said you loved me and you'd always be mine
(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
We'd be together till the end of time
(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
Now you say it was just a game
(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
But all you're doin' is leavin' me pain

Ok, so I gave in. Jumping against 40-somethings and up from other companies around the City. I peeked at last year, 6’ was last place. “Hell, I can do that.” Get there. 100+ long, lanky, much younger, in shape, “I’m going 22’ tonight” whippersnappers.

Were a few I could tell “hey, you’re an old sumbitch like me, I bet the first Bush was in office since you got carded yeah?”.. so we kinda gathered…

There also were 6’6” dudes that could easily simply step over a Honda Accord. Shee-it. I warm up. I stretch. I run down the asphalt a few times to “get my mark”.. I take one practice “leap”.. and hey, it’s ok, I hit my mark.

Drum roll. I’m standing, prolly number 40-something in line. My muscles were stretched. Frontwards and backwards. It’s just that it’s been a few President’s ago that I’ve actually “run full bore.”..

I am next in line. There are two points to jump from. “The Board” which is roughly 9’ into the sand… and what I will call “the woosie mark”… a taped departing area, about 4’ from the sand.

“I’m using the board sir.”.. So, off I went. Awkward. Been awhile. Got to board/mark “the hell do I do now?”…….. dayum…. I didn’t make it to pit. “Can I run/hide now?”… Didn’t, jumped back in line.

Second jump. I see a bunch a guys reasonably close to my age, and they are all using the taped line to jump from (4’ from the sand)…….. NAH.. Hell, “I’m good”….

So I go……… and I barely make it. I mean barely. I’m talking “Victor, had you been 6” shorter and landed on your tailbone, you’d prolly be a paraplegic now”……..

So…………. Last jump…….. It was finally my turn. I told the dude “This time, I’m going off the one closest to the sand” (The woosie mark).. … Did. Scratched.

I will never-ever-ever tell you how far (little) I jumped. It’s there if you’re Internet savvy. I will say, I was bummed. Then… awakened today…….. Results up…….. I finished 35th out of 40. I figure for 40-up, that ain’t too damn shabby.. Then, they group our results based upon competing companies similar in size, and lo and behold if I didn’t take 3rd. Outta like 6. Again,I will never-eva share “how far (less)” I jumped, lets just say it was less than half as far as I jumped as a kid.

So………… this whole thing has been a REAL eye-opener. I can play softball, fit in, blend in. Tomorrow, I’ll play basketball, fit in, blend in.

The long jump. Nuh uh. It told me…. “You dumb sumbitch… you need to pick a charity to donate your time to… you suck.. You’re washed up… we abhor recording the infimal results you old geezers turn in.. please stay away next year.”

Guys with
Time goes by and goes so slow (oh, yeah)
It just doesn't seem true
Only just a few days ago
You said you'd love me, never make me blue

(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
w you've gone and I'm all alone


(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
And you're still way up there on your throne
(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
Nothin' seems to ever go right
(I'm in pieces, bits and pieces)
'Cause night is day and day is night

The message here is………In many things, there’s no ‘measurement” as to how old one is getting. I play softball. I get a hit once every three times, all is good. Basketball, a good pass here, an Ok rebound there, it's all good.

Today. Nuh uh. I lined up. I competed. I sucked. I keep awaiting the dreaded “tap on my shoulders”…….”Victor, give it up, you’re done.”

And certain in some respects, that already shoulda happened.

My brain is young, my body is old.

Quoting Beetle juice “somebody help me”

It's a long jump from 1970 to 2010. And man, have things changed. Love, Victurd