Tape......

A few months back, I'd thrown lawnchairs behind the backseat in my ole' 95' Lebaron convertible so the grandbabies would have a place to sit. After dropping them off - the weather was el gorgeous, so I put the top down.... Crunch. Lawnchair tried (and did) come thru the back window - shattering it into a kajillion pieces. A $300 boo boo.

Heavy plastic and tape worked....... for a short. I made light of it, and car was undoubtedly the laughing stock of work parking lot. A week or so later, the transmission decided it had had enough. (Can you use 'had had' together?) There's no taping a transmission, and the fee to fix (along with the window replacement) almost doubled the value of the car, so, one phone call to junkyard "yeah, we'll buy it, $300,"... "Ok, works."

Car shopping. "Upgraded" to an ole' '99 Grand Marquis - hey, don't laugh, it came complete with a cassette tape player, one of those trunk/alarm/auto-lock thingies (Even though moments happened like when I walked out of the Piggly Wiggly and my trunk was up for no fathomable reason.) - and a numerical 'combination code' to gain entry - setup with the feller's birthday date from 1920. Cool.

This blog is checkenginelight for a reason. I think back to Bill Hallisey's (wonderful man) "Used and Abused" junk store - and that's kinda been the story of my car history, as well as other/all facets of life... house looking great, furnace goes out... job awesome, fly anywhere for $6, company goes bankrupt.. married to the prettiest lady in town, oops, there she went.

Pity? Hardly. I've loved my life, the path. Just when the moment comes to start acting all cocky, reality sets one back in place. Anyways, you get the drift.. I think.

Tape. Long about 100 miles into traversing around town in my "damn this thing is big, I've already run over two curbs turning right" car, I noticed some black electrical tape to the left of the speedometer. Seems the 'checkenginelight' was consistently on, and figure the old dude covered it with the black tape so it wouldn't bug him driving at night. This/my age, completely understand - and appreciate.

Correction tape, somewhat passé', but I still occasionally use it for errors when faxing docs at work. Backspacing is the 'new' tape. Duct tape/bailing wire. All the King's horses and all the King's men.....

Some things, tape doesn't work on. Won't bring a bullet back. Won't make words flown out of the mouth inaudible. A Facebook post can be deleted - but certain there are similar addicts as I who've surely read - cannot be taped over.

Victor, you're rambling again, tape your mouth shut. HAHA, and nanny nanny boo boo, it's my fingers 'talking'! OK, well then is there a moral to all this cockamamie writing?

I suppose. We all have 'tape moments'. They frustrate us. Remind us of life's imperfections. Our imperfections. And that we're human. (Victor, you can't start a sentence with "and".) And errors (will) happen.

We (all, I think) beat ourselves up occasionally when words have flown out and we wished we had had (geez Louise) tape over our mouth. Actions, behaviors, events happen often in life, and there is no correctable tape that can heal.

Duct. Scotch. Gorilla.. Worm (eww). Cassette. Video. Correction. When the story of our lives is taped together - about the only workable response is to laugh - admire the water that's gone under the bridge - and prepare to enjoy the current ahead.

No clever tape saying to end this. (Victor, who ever said your endings were clever?) Right you are alter ego. I could have backspaced you out, but you keep me in line - as do tape moments - and life. Love, Victurd.

Living.... not dying... Your grade?

Someone posted a very interesting article written by someone who worked very closely with folks who were dying. There was a 'title' for her position - but now I can't find it.

Anyways, there were 5 common threads/regrets that ran true in those she cared for:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

You? Selfishly, I think I now do this since I'm divorced. There is less sacrifice in being single - but, it certainly (to me anyways) doesn't outweigh being in a relationship. I've always been kind of a rebel - sometimes I do things I regret - but happy to say, for the most part I could care less of people's expectations of me/my behavior (family excluded).

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

You? I bitch/moan, but I love working. My job is very seasonal, and in the summer I never get both days of the weekend off. I do regret that, but, the corner to retirement is ahead - and I dream of mowing grass on a golf course in exchange for allowing me to shoot my normal 107 (for free). I saw something once that said "Have work at fun", and that's a model I try to remember/live by. I write all this crap about me, but, it's for anyone - these questions. The article maybe teaches us to wake up before we go to sleep.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

B- here. I've heard of families that never utter the "L word". I find that sad. The older I get, the easier this (expressing my feelings) is to me. Expressing feelings is like making footprints in the sand of life. How boring if the sand were perfect after we walk on it. Sometimes I get myself in trouble here - but I really mouth off (or back at) whenever I observe holier-than-thou behavior. I wake up in the morning, look at Facebook and think "Oh man, did I really write that?" - yes, is the answer, perhaps I should be embarrassed - but better thought a fool I guess than someone thinking "all that's up there is cobwebs."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

C- here. Longtime townie friends, yes.. past coworkers, college chums, sometimes even family - could very much do better. You?

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I'm an A- on the outside, and perhaps a C-, D+ on the inside. I, like many I'm sure, beat myself up a bit. Thankfully, aging helps reverse this process. So, if you're a pup, reading this - relax. Like yourself. You are the most important person in your life.

I've not thought a lot about death. You? Oh, I've considered getting a size 10 type tattoo "somewhere down there" that says "morticians suck" - eh, why not go down makin' 'em laugh? Cremation, ashes scattered about at the City Park in Liberty.

I do look at my grandchildren and try to predict how long I'll get to see them. Helps (me anyways) keep things in perspective. Living is like whittling, kinda. We certainly have those "oh shit" moments we can never take back - but then again, hopefully along the way we've created something others will like.

Do you ever stop along the path and consider these five things? Do you literally act upon them? Kudos to you if so. They're pretty deep, but life is as well.

Our high school graduating class recently lost three fine people in a month - and it does make one stop and think. Reading the 5 things above - is kinda like a 401K. "Man, I wished I woulda started all that at age 20" - but - starting at any age is a very good thing.

What/who are you gonna be before you die?

Love, Victurd

Instructions..

First thing that comes to mind: printed matter within a box of a new toy, gadget, table, chair, swing set, virtually anything that's reasonably big - broken down, stuffed into a box like a size 38 waist in a pair of size 34 jeans.

Parts. All kindsa parts. Labeled. Mebbe even in separate baggies. The hardheaded among us, "I don't need no stinking instructions" - rush off to assemble - and soon, the rectangular table looks more triangular, simply because we've screwed 'B" into "D" - insteada following the instructions.

As a child, instructions abound. Sign, sign, everywhere a sign. Of course - school, our teachers - their instructions. Cub Scouts, Brownies, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Swim lessons, Little League, Karate' - instructions. For most, life is easy - 'assemble' it one step at a time.

Non-conformists no likey instructions. Seems they take two paths: prison, or brilliance. Us other wet-behind-the-ears, mostly instruction abiding folks manage along the way until schooling ends, and the real world hits.

So, insteada having a teacher, we pick a mate. Two heads are better than one eh? For many, this goes well - and lasts long into life until we reach the stage we forget every damn thing we've ever been instructed on.

Some, in the two-heads-are-better setup, soon learn that one thrives in being the instructor - ultimately giving hives to the instructee. Divorce happens, and once again back to square one with no instructions.

The world is wondrous in that, justabout the time one figures out how to be 20 (or 30, 40, 50, 60, etc) - 30 (or 40, 50, 60, etc) happens. We are poor little lambs who have lost our way, baa, baa, baa.

There are no instructions for divorce. Illness. Depression. Obesity. Unemployed. Underemployed. Being disabled. Even for being quite healthy and alone. Even GPS ain't perfect. Sometimes we even cuss at Google "NO, NO, NO - that's NOT what I want!"

Friends help. Family helps. Smiles help. Happy helps. Experience helps, but then again you run into the 30-turning-40, 40-turning-50, yada thing again.

Saw an email the other day outlining stages: Age 4, not peeing your pants. Age 12, having friends Age 16, driver's license. Age 20, having sex. Age 30, money. Age 50, money. Age 60, being able to have sex. Age 70, having friends. Age 75, having your license. Age 80, not peeing in your pants. It's all one big cycle - with no printed matter to help us along the way.

Follow the yellow brick road. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. DIY. Drink more Ovaltine. You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up. "Get more exercise, and watch your diet." Uh huh, sure. Thanks doc.

Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign.
(Except for when it comes to knowing how to live. All these 'parts.' No labels. No baggies filled with stepping stones for the path. No longer even the two-heads-are-better-than-one except for the one who doesn't agree with that.)

We're little black sheep who have gone astray, baa, baa, baa.

Stayed here too long, gotta run, sorry. "Siri, take me to __________, zip 64068" "Unable to find destination." Shit. Baa, baa, baa. Love, Victurd.

Christmas? In MAY?

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Uh huh, whatever the season is. (Enter that "Happy" viral song here).. Deck-orate with
whateverinthehell the seasonal aisle @ WallyWorld says it is.

Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Gay = happy, and who cares if it's the other, to each their own. Sing @ the festival - no matter the season. Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra.

See the blazing Yule before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Strike the harp and join the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Bonfire. Fire pit. Friends gathered, encircled. Can't sing? By all means, join the crowd. Take a selfie.. or a vid... have your own flashmob. Crank the music in the car, singalong (loud) and pretend you're on the stage at Starlight - and - they LOVE you/ (Particularly effective at stoplights with windows rolled down.) "DID YOU SEE/HEAR THAT DUDE? He HAD to be 70!"

Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While I tell of Yule tide treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Follow, join, lead. Measure = predetermined. I likes that. A method to one's happiness. Treasure - all around. Youth, old, in between. Pricey things, simple things, treasured things.

Whether weather, dark, light, cloudy/grey, blue/puffy, hot/dry/wet/frigid, rainbows, rivers, winds in the trees, happy in the breeze, new places/unknown, old/familiar places - faces..

Fast away the old year passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Uh huh, goes fast. Wrinkles, brown spots, "oh hell, WHERE'S THE BATHROOM" happens. Lemme see, if I retire at 62 I'll make this much (but won't have health insurance, crap).. 65, this much (more).. and 66, even this much more. The yearn for "Take this job and shove it" turns to "Seeya on Monday" ("damnit" under our breaths)

NEW (year) AND NEW lads/lasses. Ahhhhhhhh, the best. In them, we see us, and those before us - with all new features, personalities, spunk. When the need/want for Geritol happens - the miracle of youth perpetuates, uplifts, re-energizes the quality of our life - comforting to know, in a way, we're played forward - by/in them.

Sing we joyous, all together,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Choose whatever one desires. I like happy, light - no matter the damn weather, partnered/non-partnered, bank balance/lacka bank balance. Uplift (no, not that kind Kim Novak).. Gotta frown? Stand on your head. Worry wart? Glass'a wine instead.

Relax. Enjoy. Breathe deep. Make notes/'videos' with your eyes. Have fun.
Fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra..... Love, Victurd.