Good god Gerty, this man hasn't had a girlfriend since Fonzie was popular.. what'sup with that/this awaking her?
Was he at the bar, she was farsighted, nearsighted, barelysighted, couldn't see his ugly mug due to he mask? Drunk? I hope he changed his sheets this month.. he's been known to go a week or five not doing so.
NO NO NO.
Mind outta gutter blogbreath.
Working on my waistline, I was at the intersection of Liberty Drive and 291, awaiting a left turn to go to Mickey D's to buy a sausage biscuit, sausage mcmuffin, coffee. OK damnit, you got me, TWO sausage biscuits, a sausage mcmuffin, coffee. I was on the road, you know, where there usedta be a car wash.. and at one time (before Covid) there was an actual bowling alley where people knocked down pins.
In the lefthand turn lane. If you know the area, you know the light to turn left comes on first. I was, 7th in line. Twas early. 6:30am-ish.
The light turned green, car #1 in line went... Car #2 sat, and sat, and sat, through 90% of the greenlight, never went. HAVE YOU SEEN MY BELLY? I NEED MO' MO' MO" fattening food, PLEASE GO, get the help outta the way!
Didn't. I decided I wasn't going to risk sitting in the leftturn lane missing the light again - I'll swerve around, go straight thru the light then turn in the shopping center parking lot, sneak in thataway.
But first, I hadta pull up next to the idiot that let the light turn red. Having lived almost 68 years, I've earned the right to glare, cuss, honk, gesture. I didn't, because.........................
She was asleep, or sumpin. Definitely slumped over against the driver's side window. Yep, now 8 cars behind her, she was seemingly unconscious. I've read about all the heroism, guys/gals pulling folks from cars on fire.. newscasts uniting former heroes with folks they'd saved...but... I panicked. The heck do I do? It's only been 51 years since I was taught CPR. Should I wear my mask if I have to give mouth to mouth? Should I, politely, down a breathmint first? I was first up in the middle lane now awaiting the next green light. Should I dial 911? Dare I jump outta the car and find a mebbe dead person at the wheel?
Jump out and risk life an limb? I mean, with the quarantine fatness I've built on, it would take a smart car or a skinny 10 speed bicycle not to hit me.
Should I call 911 first? It takes me four minutes to thumb through all the damn apps I've got on my cheapy android, so that idea was put to rest. Against my better judgement, fear of getting run over, fear of opening door, finding I'm unable to detect a pulse .- I jumped out.
I couldn't think of anything to do.........except knock on her window. And then this morning, I awakened her.
I dunno if she'd been at the bar.. in the dawn of a good drunk.. if she'd worked a double shift somewhere.. or, would she qualify to be on onea those commercials about folks who fall asleep all the time..
Anyways, she popped right up.. Looked at me smilingly like I was her best friend (insteada peeing her pants in fear like I thought she mighta).. She then waved an appreciative wave, and by now, her light was once again green. Party on, drive on Garth sleeping beauty lady.
Informal, not attentive or alert - she was ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL.
It's 2020, I shoulda known to expect something like this.
I've been blessed with the capability to nap damn near anywheres. Of course in my easy chair. Ahm, my cubicle at work. At a ballgame, uh huh, have. Sitting in the grass. At the Conference table at work when that one lady had the floor. Bout any dang where, I can nap.
Never napped at an intersection though. 2020 is hindsight though,
Have naps.. but not whilst behind the wheel.
Love, Victurd
ls
